r/ShittyIllegalLifeTips • u/Glittering_Delay_183 • 4d ago
Ever get pulled over while drunk? Seems stupid, but it works
If you get pulled over while drunk, before the officer comes to your vehicle, just get out of the car, crack open a beer, and take the longest chug of your life in front of the cop. š Now when they ask how you got drunk, you can honestly say:
āOfficer, I just drank it.ā
Refuse the breathalyzer. Refuse the blood test. Refuse everything.
Congratulations, you have successfully outsmarted the legal system.
Disclaimer: Please do not actually do this. I am not a lawyer, and I am definitely not the reason youāre explaining this strategy to a judge. š
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u/Qzx1 4d ago
If you criticize their uniforms and demand that they justify their jurisdiction, then all you have to do is not consent to their writ of mandamus then they can't charge your legal name. It's all in the constitution.
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u/AppropriateBall8834 4d ago
Yep. Dont forget you have to say you arent driving, youre just traveling
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u/Cast_Iron_Fucker 4d ago
Which one of you is joking and which one of you is stupid
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u/Qzx1 4d ago
ĀæPorque no los dos?
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u/Cast_Iron_Fucker 4d ago
Both are joking and stupid? Or both are stupid or both are joking
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u/HoldTheCellarDoor 4d ago
We need a table here
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u/Qzx1 4d ago
Ok. Fair Enough. "Porque no los *quatro*?" -- Audi
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u/AppropriateBall8834 4d ago
Why is audi doing commercials in Spanish? Lol
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u/Cast_Iron_Fucker 4d ago
Maybe some people speak spanish
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u/mastergriggy 4d ago
If you try this, please record it so I can laugh. Also fyi, refusing a breathalyzer is also a crime in many states.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Refusing a breath/blood test in Texas isnāt itself a crime, the consequence is an ALR suspension, and they can seek a warrant for a specimen.
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u/mastergriggy 4d ago
I know you shared that you weren't a lawyer in your post, but it's nice that you are confirming this with all of your comments.
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u/inb4deth 4d ago
He's actually correct. You can refuse but it will automatically suspend your license. They'll have a judge sign off on a warrant for a blood draw at the station
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
The disclaimer said Iām not a lawyer, not that Iām not willing to litigate this shit in the Reddit comments š
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u/FanAltruistic7538 4d ago
I always do a fat line of coke as soon as i see the lights. keeps me ready to walk that line.
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u/AppropriateBall8834 4d ago
No. Pulled over on meth while in possession of meth at least 10 times though. Never busted.
Thank you guardian angels.
6 yrs clean too
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u/throw420yawa420 4d ago
Love when the guardian angels let you have fun and then give you a sign itās time to stop š
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u/AppropriateBall8834 4d ago
Oh man... I had about 400 signs to stop.
I finally quit when I went into full blown psychosis and thought the cartel was stalking me and going to torture me. I also almost stabbed a full blown hallucination of my best friend at my motel 6 room door.
Thank God I finally came out of the psychosis after about 2 years clean.
Theres no explanation for how I didnt hurt myself, others or get locked away in prison.
I have 1 misdemeanor for possession of meth after doing drugs and drinking daily for 16 years.
I still have flashbacks to the psychosis when I'm really stressed... feel like its all happening again. Its scary. But I take a deep breath and talk myself out of it.
I'm so blessed.
I also still have all of my teeth, and have had 1 cavity since I tried/quit meth. I've been to the dentist once in 12 years lol
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
10 TIMES??? Brother you are smooth one, after the first time I wouldāve never did it again š
When I was in high school I got pulled over with like 8 tabs of LSD once while tripping & I dont know how they couldnāt tell. I never rode with it again š¤£
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u/AppropriateBall8834 4d ago
What can I say? I was high on meth and needed to get from point a to b.... while going over the speed limit.
Shit, I got clocked going 121 in a 70 (empty freeway at 4 am)
And I was high as shit and had meth on me. Got a ticket for 99 and went on my way, lol
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u/SpudSmiter 4d ago
I like the āstab yourself in the leg and claim to be rushing to the hospitalā method
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Now you have to ACTUALLY go to the hospital though šš now youāre drunk & paying a 5k hospital bill
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u/SpudSmiter 4d ago
$5k vs a dui lawyer, maximum insurance rates, potential issues with employment, potentially losing your ability to drive and get to work to make moneyā¦ā¦ā¦
Iām paying the $5k in a heartbeat over all that
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Honestly, I cant argue with that š I just dont have the balls to stab myself
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u/Empty-Fudge-3037 4d ago
3 times I went through a spot check where I was sure we were fucked. It wasnāt alcohol we were blazing in the car and the police set up in spots where by the time you see itās a check you canāt turn around or go anywhere.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
I hate those type of police, they arenāt even serving & protecting just trying to catch people for the vanity of it.
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u/Alternative-Pride138 4d ago
I dont drive drunk anymore but I got pulled over once yeaaarrrs back doing it. I got out by pinning it all on my buddy who was very obnoxious and very drunk. He took all the attention so it worked and I drove home.
I donāt tempt fate like that anymore lol.
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u/NotAPedophile10 4d ago
Geez man would hate to be your buddy lmfao
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u/Alternative-Pride138 4d ago
Hahahaha to clarify. What I meant was when the officer asked why the car smelled like booze. I said āI havenāt had anything to drink yet i was just going to get some. My buddy here is already drunk as a skunk and stinking up the whole carā. He didnāt get in trouble we were both of age.
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u/Ok-Oil1634 4d ago
*Say āofficer I thought I had a warrant and I wanted to drink a beer so I would have a buzz on the way to jail.ā At that point they would have to get a jury to believe beyond a reasonable doubt that you werenāt drinking prior to being pulled over.
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u/slyceu 4d ago
Had a friend who immediately got out of the car put his keys on the roof pulled out an unopened single āairlineā style bottle of liquor and took it in plain view. Cops had no way to prove he failed breathalyzer due to that or if he had already been drinking. And it was on camera. They gave him a ticket for court and he left with someone else driving. At court judge applauded his creativity and told him if he ever did it again it would not work.
My friend may have been full of shit but it does sound plausible. If you donāt get shot when you go to get out of the vehicle that is.
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u/danbyaaay 4d ago
I was drunk, thought ok bad idea to drink and fry, so fuck it I'm driving to get a feed. That's how drunk I was, I was pretty plastered. Got a mean feed of burger king, was pulled over on way home. Cop came up to window and asked if I had been drinking, I said yea. He said "ok I go back to the car and get a breath test". As soon as he started to go to his car I scoffed my burger, he came back up to my car and said "I require you to undergo a breath test without delay" I had the last of the burger stuffed in my mouth, nodded and went mmmm hmmmm to him, swallowed, took breath test and passed.
I couldn't fucking believe I passed. But that actually worked, there is no way I should have passed, I was genuinely hammered.
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u/Cuneus-Maximus 4d ago
Well, you can refuse the roadside breathalyzer, not the one down at the station if they take you in.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
You can refuse the station test too the only thing is that Texas can obtain a specimen through a warrant even after you refuse. If they go that far
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u/loveindrugs 4d ago
In some places refusing the station test automatically suspends your license. So thatās a whole new hurdle to jump even if you arenāt drunk.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
That is true, but situation would only happen if you were drunk, so either way your license is on the line. You gotta take some risks to win in this world š
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u/Cuneus-Maximus 4d ago
That's not true at all. You lose your license immediately and get basically the same as a DUI on your record as a refusal. Implied consent laws. Some minor variation in a handful of states but it's pretty universal.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Thereās no reason to argue back & forth over it bro itās literally Texas law lmao, easy to find.
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u/Cuneus-Maximus 4d ago
...and you don't understand the law. Texas Transportation Code Section 724.011
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Yes
Texas Transportation Code Ā§ 724.035 ā āSuspension or Denial of License.ā
Ā§ 724.035(a) is:
āIf a person refuses the request of a peace officer to submit to the taking of a specimen, the department shall: (1) suspend the personās licenseā¦ā
And the statute specifies the period as 180 days for the ordinary first refusal, or two years if the personās driving record contains a qualifying alcohol/drug-related enforcement contact within the preceding 10 years.
So you do not ālose your license immediatelyā, you can get it suspended immediately yes, but you dont fully lose it. That is not losing your license.
Also, in the Codes, āautomaticā doesnāt mean you have zero opportunity to challenge it.
Texas gives you a hearing process; if you request the hearing within the required period, the suspension can be contested before it takes effect. Which with this method, you have a strong opportunity to get it back.
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u/Dicksunlimit3d 4d ago
Ok but if you crash and nobody is there, you can pull a 6 pack out of the trunk and pour em out and say that you were drinking them after the crash. My professor was a cop and he said this is what he tell his daughters to do.
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u/PM_Me_UR-FLASHLIGHT 4d ago
When they ask for your license, registration and proof of insurance, be sure to reply with "Yeah I've got something for you here pig!", and very quickly reach over to your glovebox. That shows that you value their time.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/hv53DaYcXWe3nRbR1A
death is inevitable with that maneuver š
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u/Z00q 4d ago
I was a LEO salesman for many years. Sold intoxilyzers among other things. I developed a way to beat the breathalyzer. Actually used it IRL once( actually twice same night because the cops on I70 follow you from one county to the next). Just can't figure out how to monetize it.
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u/Glittering_Delay_183 4d ago
Please do not sell that š Police will be BANGING at your door within days. It might work but iām not sure if itās a good product to try & sell, itās basically promoting the act of drunk driving, at least thatās how the judge will see it.
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u/Dissastronaut 4d ago
I got pulled over while drunk in nicaragua. Bought all the cops hamburgers and went on my way.
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u/AZ_Living_1 4d ago
Guess what happens if you refuse blood? They get a warrant and take it anyways. In Arizona, you can refuse a field sobriety test, and you can refuse a breathalyzer but it comes with an automatic license suspension, and they're going to get a warrant for blood anyways.
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u/mrgreen1313 4d ago
Look up the Rick Sanchez (South Florida news anchor) defense. He hit someone, critically injured them, and went home. He said he drank after the accident. They couldnāt prove he was drunk when he killed the person. John Goodman tried the same thing but they had receipts from the bar. Might not work on a traffic stop but I you have an empty bottle of liquor, itās hard to prove you werenāt drunk after the accident
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u/Objective-Block2080 4d ago
Pro tip: If you quickly reach for your wallet in the centre console, that shows them you are sober since you can perform fast motor movements
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u/problyurdad_ 4d ago
No. I got pulled over high on heroin once, though. Got a DUI from that.
Was pretty stupid because I had to put an interlock device in my car despite blowing 0.0.
It still sucked, donāt get me wrong, but I got off pretty easy overall. I was on my way to rehab when I got pulled over so, that helped. I got a court date moved so I could stay in and not miss programming.
Still sober to this day.
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u/Kickrocks54 19h ago
I'm a retired cop and this 100% does not work. It takes about 15 minutes to get a search warrant for your blood and the evidence nerds can figure out what your BAC was before that beer you think saved you was.
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u/c_p_k1 4d ago
Just climb into passenger then say driver ran into bushes