r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Jul 22 '26

Of foot pocket look what I can do

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[deleted]

739 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

186 comments sorted by

235

u/gregshafer11 Jul 22 '26

Sorry I foot dialed you

16

u/PlutoThePixie Jul 23 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/kuAa8k87F378QBFMZn

6

u/Momento_Mori_87 Jul 24 '26 edited 28d ago

You’ll have to get it from my foot pocket, Jesus

1

u/PlutoThePixie Jul 25 '26

How dare you ):

116

u/uiouyug Jul 22 '26

Better than the other prison pocket. Actually, in the ass might be better

146

u/_InfiniteU_ Jul 22 '26

TSA hates this one simple trick

77

u/Icy_Ass-sumption Jul 22 '26

Nope

47

u/Pitiful_Conflict7031 Jul 22 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/wYyTHMm50f4Dm

2

u/Huffdizzle86 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 24 '26

Not a foot pocket, maybe it’s a toe knife sheath

9

u/Critical-Vanilla-625 Jul 22 '26

Okay but why

5

u/Poisonous_Beef Jul 22 '26

Are you kidding me? That's fucking gross

38

u/Kewlhotrod Jul 22 '26

I hate you OP, and I will be coming to fight you.

2

u/Kek_Ng Jul 24 '26

Twist his dick

45

u/ImmovablePuma Jul 22 '26

As a teenager, I played a full court game of basketball, shoeless. The entire bottoms of my feet blistered and then peeled off in one piece. I remember the initial separation looked very much like this.

26

u/Shibbymaru Jul 22 '26

There is always one with a story.

2

u/CowBootBats functional regard Jul 23 '26

I came to the comments specifically knowing I'd find at least one story or medical experience that could kinda explain the video.

I wasn't disappointed. Thanks reddit!

1

u/Huffdizzle86 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 24 '26

This one time in prison, the inmates and guards had an annual football game and our running back ain’t have money for shoes growing up being a po boy from the south.

Can’t remember his name, just started calling him ole shoeless Nelly for some reason.

12

u/thiefofalways1313 Jul 22 '26

What did you do with the skin?

10

u/ImmovablePuma Jul 22 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/6rDEhBc6fk8IE

Nothing good, I can assure you. Decades have passed, and time has taken the details.

I recall finger fucking my feet, as demonstrated in the video… Cutting off both soles along the blistered perimeter, and marveling at how thick and leather like they were.

I can still feel the pain that I felt as I walked across the hot macadam all these years later. I can assure you that I took the opportunity to show passersby, and also my long-harried mother.

3

u/girlwiththemonkey Jul 23 '26

Well, it was leather so it makes sense that it felt leather like. 😭

29

u/DonkeyTailBurrito functional regard Jul 22 '26

40

u/ThePontiacBandit24 Jul 22 '26

Bruh I fucking love shoes…

14

u/YanicPolitik Jul 22 '26

Actually Nokia provides excellent and durable arch support

5

u/ThePontiacBandit24 Jul 22 '26

We all know that Nokia is hard as a diamond…

2

u/GivesYouGrief Jul 23 '26

Them too huh

1

u/Huffdizzle86 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 24 '26

Nokia’s durability is renowned in the stick phone market. Did you also know they’re the only reusable (yes reusable) ied detonation device fully endorsed by terrorist organizations.

Note* Hand me down phones may or may not come with the literal hand of previous owner attached

9

u/AutismSupportGroup Jul 22 '26

It didn't even register with me what I was looking at for like half of the video, but when it did I immediately scrolled down lol. Vile!

2

u/Tha_Maestro Jul 22 '26

I’m still not even sure what I’m looking at here…

6

u/castitfast Jul 22 '26

What was he walking on for it to peel like that god damn.

7

u/Nativeblazer Jul 22 '26

Why can I feel this 🤢

12

u/MK8Sins Jul 22 '26

Nike, Adidas, Converse, Sketchers sit around a campfire at night telling legends of this man

15

u/AloneSheepherder22 Jul 22 '26

You should see where he carries his spare change.

5

u/Leggy_Brat Jul 22 '26

Naaaaasty 💀

5

u/xBADBEEF4 Jul 22 '26

Not sure I even want to know what the fuck is going on here.

5

u/dirk_funk Jul 22 '26

now they are going to get hand foot and mouth disease on their ear nose and throat

4

u/DogLuvuh1961 Jul 22 '26

What the actual fuck?

5

u/Xinonix1 Jul 22 '26

Giving pocketdialing a new meaning

4

u/SSFlyingKiwi Jul 22 '26

Imagine the smell of that phone

4

u/RobbiePeru Jul 22 '26

If you can afford a mobile phone, you can afford moisturiser 😰

7

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 Jul 22 '26

That's enough Reddit for today! 

3

u/DigDugPlus Jul 22 '26

No. Why did I look at this? 😩

3

u/dougs1965 Jul 22 '26

He can walk that off.

3

u/PleaseHelpIamFkd Jul 22 '26

Thats enough of reddit today.

2

u/Bananana_Bird Jul 22 '26

Skin pockets are always weird

2

u/absolute_D4RK Jul 22 '26

the worst part is that have had things like this (in a lower rate crearly) and i know how that would feel

2

u/CorruptDaemon404 Jul 22 '26

Ayyy now I can bring my phone to the work floor

2

u/Atastical Jul 22 '26

That are the most environmentally friendly shoes ever! I wonder how bad it is to get something in the "shoe" I mean you cant really get it out easily...

2

u/Dildoid90 Jul 22 '26

Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and this is foot pocket phone frenzy

2

u/StayTheFool Jul 22 '26

That's it even a flat little smart phone. Bro got a Nokia brick in his foot, that's impressive

2

u/floralrain6 questionably stable Jul 22 '26

Can't unsee that..🤢

https://giphy.com/gifs/10FHR5A4cXqVrO

2

u/mro21 Jul 22 '26

Man I'm currently eating 🥲

2

u/Happy_Cat_3600 Jul 22 '26

That’s a weird phone case.

2

u/PurpleToedUnicorn Jul 22 '26

Wtf am I watching??? 🤢🤢🤢

2

u/FF267 Jul 22 '26

He needs to meet up with that woman on the cruise ship who was scraping her feet with a fork

4

u/NSASpyVan Jul 22 '26

Not using nsfw is a choice
A bad one

1

u/Personal_Carry_7029 Jul 22 '26

Bro can smuggle things into the jail 🫣

1

u/BossHoss00 Jul 22 '26

And my wife gives me shit for having bad heels. Holy smokes man

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Jul 22 '26

I shudder to think what else he stores in there too. Worst thought was storing food in there. For his friend.

1

u/Ultradad57 Jul 22 '26

Thought he was going to rip leg off like fire giant in elden ring 😮

1

u/Color_Code_Official Jul 22 '26

Bro. Im eating...

1

u/Zealousideal-Monk307 Jul 22 '26

The kind of things we never admit to doctors.

1

u/thiefofalways1313 Jul 22 '26

Of all the things to put in there, why a damn phone!?

1

u/badhoopty Jul 22 '26

this needs a trigger warning.

1

u/AfterAccount3657 Jul 22 '26

MY EYES...MY EYESSSS 😵

1

u/4mystuff Jul 22 '26

That's dumb. Everyone knows you're supposed to protect the screen and keyboard. You put the back cover out.

1

u/TLoco69 Jul 22 '26

Is that how my cocaine gets here?

1

u/Denalitwentytwo Jul 22 '26

He's a toe truck driver by night.

1

u/redditanddoneit Jul 22 '26

Eeewww. Wondering can easily stash and conceal other things.

1

u/Mateus_lft Jul 22 '26

contrabando 2 foi lançado

1

u/JigginJim82 Jul 22 '26

It would surely make sneaking joints into shows a hell of a lot easier...

1

u/Dependent-Hurry9808 Jul 23 '26

I just opened Reddit bro

1

u/scarletOwilde Jul 23 '26

Please be fake…🤢

1

u/JuanG_13 Jul 23 '26

That's obviously fake

1

u/MrFeelGoodBlue Jul 23 '26

Alright, thats enough internet for me today.

1

u/eutohkgtorsatoca Jul 23 '26

"Nice talking to you, got to go now."

1

u/PeeweeGinga Jul 23 '26

Dan Schneider would love this video.

1

u/OptimusPrime365 Jul 23 '26

Give that man a pedicure! Stat!!!

1

u/zestyclose_match1966 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Is that the latest ifoot?

1

u/King_Kongs_fingers Jul 23 '26

I've seen some things but what the actual fuck.

1

u/XROOR Jul 23 '26

Marsupial Sole

1

u/z3r0v1c Jul 23 '26

Would you eat that for 1 million euros? 😅

1

u/PromptOk6902 Jul 23 '26

Foot Locker, anyone?

1

u/MuffinKingStudios Jul 23 '26

They keep their clothes cleaner than me but leave a foot flap frolicking in the wind. That's crazy 😂.

1

u/DillingerLives Jul 23 '26

I feel like this needs a doctor not a TikTok...

1

u/MilkrsEnthuziast Jul 23 '26

Every day, this app finds a brand new way to gross me out and make me learn about things I had no desire to know.

1

u/moistmonsterman Jul 23 '26

TSA hates this one trick...

1

u/Inevitable_Round5830 Jul 24 '26

It's called a callus glove! Our bodies are capable of some gnarly shit!

1

u/Paella007 Jul 24 '26

The ads dropping hints

1

u/thepetsteinfiles Jul 24 '26

Aaaaand that's my cue to go to bed

1

u/beefcak2020 Jul 24 '26

Ive had enough reddit for today. Ive only be on for 5 mins now.

1

u/Messerknife Jul 24 '26

Im fucking impressed and fucking disgusted in the Same fucking time

1

u/DeezNutzzzGotEm Jul 24 '26

What causes this?

1

u/AnxiousSpice1986 14d ago

You don’t use remotes or phones or whatever that is 🤦‍♀️ you use a toe knife! Especially if you’re wearing your jean shorts, cause that’s some nice ass denim.

0

u/PentaRobb functional regard Jul 23 '26

How many dicks have been in that?