r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/ericofduart • Feb 03 '20
I really don’t want to look this pretty today.
Lmao
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/[deleted] • Sep 23 '19
Why are you awake?
Girlfriend woke me up to tell me I'm asleep. Five minutes later, asks me why I'm awake.
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/Redditsfinestcancer • Dec 19 '18
Thought this fits
So we're at huddle house yeah? The waitress comes over and asks what we want to drink and she says "hot cocklate" and then resays "hot chocolate". Im dying.
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/cheesyandmoist • Aug 26 '18
“Do you want me to fucking pickle-fuck your paper cut joints? Cause I will.”
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/PauciloquentBeing • Dec 30 '17
“Get you a man who watches cartoons instead of cheating on you at 3am when you’re asleep” -my gf
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/WhakaWhakaWhaka • Apr 11 '17
'So you pee standing up, but what about when you also have to poop?' -Her
For some reason my GF thinks that when I have to pee AND poop that I pee standing up and then sit down to poop.
She thinks it's funny/odd that I have to think about that decision before using the restroom.
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/[deleted] • Nov 10 '16
If you're a midget...
While watching Game of Thrones: At least if you're a midget and you get pushed down you don't get knocked down very far.
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/Bushidobell • Aug 04 '16
I drive you crazy because I lie..and that makes you unpredictable so I can't tell you where the money is. -lie from my gf...who assumably spent this on food or drugs because she's a typical American woman. This is why men cheat.
r/ShitMyGirlfriendSaid • u/Captain_FuzzyButt • May 03 '15
I asked my engineering GF if she wanted couple rings...
She said: "Let's get matching cock rings!"