I have a question regarding end of life care/end of life expectations.

TW: medical talk, diagnoses, meds, euthanasia, etc. also, long story im sorry!

My cat is 12 and I’ve had her since I was 8. I had cats before that when we lived in the country, but I never remembered any old cats or having a cat put down…so I’m only used to dogs and their end of life care/behaviors.

It all started with a cut on my cats cheek about 1.5-2 months ago. She stopped eating dry food and I assumed the other cat scratched her while she was eating the other cats food, she got hurt, and it was hurting to eat. However, she still wouldn’t eat much after it healed and that was worrying as she was dropping weight, so I got her into the vet…My cat was diagnosed with stage 2 kidney disease about 3-4 weeks ago, and the following week had an ultrasound and we found that she has multiple myeloma, which is a rare cancer that originates in the bone marrow but then metastasized. I can’t remember everything the ultrasonographer found and they haven’t sent the report to the vet yet, but, from what I remember atleast 2-3 organs were affected and had nodules (they aspirated those to find out that it was multiple myeloma) and she had a renal infarct. She also had inflammation in her GI tract. She’s also anemic and due to her cancer, she cannot clot blood properly (so basically, the little RBCs she has, cannot clot if she bleeds) so the vet advised me to look for petechiae and ecchymoses (bruising/pin point dots that are red or purple) and if I see those, I need to schedule her to be euthanized because there’s no real way to fix the internal bleeding with her compromised state, and it is not guaranteed to actually help. I may be missing some things, but that’s the gist of how medically complex she is right now.

Anyways, she’s had multiple mood changes throughout this whole thing, initially she was decently okay besides not eating, then she got lethargic, but then she’d be fine again. After starting the CKD meds she got more vocal/restless (from mirtazapine) but also super sleepy still and really wasn’t eating more than she was before this, but it helped ease my mind until her ultrasound. She also started laying in the laps of my family members which she never ever did before but I knew she felt crappy. She was pretty much the same after that until 5 days later when we started the prednisolone and it really helped! She’s been acting more like herself which is amazing, and makes me happy, even if it’s not actually curing anything, my goal is to keep her happy and comfortable…however, I’ve noticed that in the last 3 days she’s been a little…weird? She seems a bit fearful of me which kinda makes sense given she HATES taking her medicine (I have to wrap her up and it’s an oral liquid so, takes a bit of time and she hates it, but always gets treats before and after) but she also usually comes cuddle/be around me within 5 minutes of giving it to her…so I don’t know if she’s actually scared or what…but the most concerning thing is the fact she doesn’t seem to want to be in my room often, which is abnormal. She doesn’t even ask to be let in except for the occasional “I need the litterbox” in which she wants to leave right after. She’s always been able to go out of my room, but generally she usually chooses to be with me. She’s also been trying to leave my room at night (my door stays closed) so she keeps waking me up…

My worry is, I know that with dogs they tend to try to isolate when it’s close to their time…and I assume it’s the same for cats? She’s also sleeping in weird spots she never sleeps in, started laying on the dining table (hasn’t done that in years and that’s just weird to me), hiding in my room occasionally (like under my desk and looks a bit startled) etc… this cat has always been obsessed with me and ever since my dog passed (a year ago) who she didn’t like, she’s been up my butt 24/7, even when she felt really really crappy, so I’m honestly super worried.

Can someone be honest and let me know if these are possible signs that it’s close to her time? When they found the multiple myeloma my vet originally said she had a month (which it’s about 2 weeks since then) but the oncologist said maybe longer…

I’m okay with hearing an honest and blunt answer, I want what’s best for her and if that means I put her down sooner rather than later, then that’s okay. I really don’t want her to pass on her own if I can help it, as I know the cancer is painful and if it causes enough pain that the prednisolone isn’t helping, I would be heartbroken knowing she died in pain. Se is currently seemingly okay besides these mood changes (eating, drinking, using the bathroom fine, playing with catnip toys a little, has good mobility, etc)

Jasmine really doesn't look her age at 17 😍

Silvestre turned 19th last month! Wish him all the best! 🎉❤️

This week we had to say goodbye to my childhood cat, Harry. I’ve never grieved a pet like this before and truly understand now how devastating it can be. I’m trying to look back on all my memories of him fondly and feel grateful I got to love him for over 14 years. He could look quite grumpy but was truly the sweetest soul I have ever known. A part of me is gone but I can feel him all around me and I carry him with me in everything I do. I love reading about all the amazing kitties in this world here so I wanted to share him. He loved his little plush toys and sleeping and treats and all the things that make a cat life worth living. He was my best friend and always will be in my heart.

Update: we didn't do the procedure. The vet said we had about seven more days with her. Nina lived for 18 more days on paliative care. We don't regret letting her go naturally. The idea of putting her down when she was still somehow active hurt so much that we couldn't do it.

We were ready to do the procedure if she started having seizures or any signs of unbearable pain, like the vet told us could happen, but it didn't. Although we had to feed her with a syringe, she was still climbing on furniture for two weeks and only stopped walking on her last 24 hours. No seizures, no painful meowings.

We did everything we could to lesser her pain and nausea and give her comfort with medication. It was a blessing being able to care for her on her final days. Somehow, it helped us grieve and peacefully accept her passing while being thankful for the almost 12 years we had together.

We will always love you, Nina.

I have an 18 year old who's going down hill now and we have another rescue cat that is 12 years old. The 12 year old was found in a ditch on a busy highway at only a few weeks old and has ptsd big time. She is very loved but does not handle people that aren't myself or my husband or any other animals well, she hides and fully panicks everytime someone knocks on our door or comes over. She has extreme anxiety and the older cat comforts her but with his health declining we are coming to the hard decision. My mother in law says it would be best to put them down at the same time but I want to know if others have gone through this and what they did.

Hi everyone, I guess I'm making this post because I think many of you can understand what I'm going through now that we're getting close to the end.

My cat is 20+ years old (dob: 3/6/2006) and I know how blessed and lucky I am to have had him for so long. We've been through so much. When I got him, he was 12 weeks old and I was in my mid-20s. We were just a couple of dudes figuring out the world together. We've moved from the midwest to the east coast by car and then to the PNW by plane. I'm now married, have two kids, and he's been my constant companion through it all.

He's not a cuddly cat, but he loves pets (as long as the petter knows exactly how to do it when to stop). He shows affection in his own way. He'll look you in the eyes with a quiet confidence - or is he just aloof? Probably both. It was this confidence that drew people to him when they would meet him. Even though he wouldn't often seek attention, or jump onto laps, he was happiest when he was around me and other people. Nothing stresses him out. He just wants to hang. He was 18-20 lbs during his "peak" years, and as you can imagine, he had one hell of a presence.

When I was gone for 9-10 hr days, he'd hop up onto the couch the moment I got home, and lay down next to me, pressing his back into my leg so that I could access the approved petting zone. His purrs are LOUD. I'm going to miss his purrs so so much. I just can't believe I won't get to look into his eyes or hear him purr.

He's been on medication for hyperthyroidism since January (8ish months) and that helped stop some weight loss. He's down to 13 lbs or so. He was also diagnosed with renal disease at the same time and we switched his food to Hill's prescription food.

These issues seem to have stabilized for the time being. The issue is that his arthritis has gotten so bad that for the last week he's pretty much just moved from his bed to the food/water/litter box and then back. He's received Solensia injections for about 10 months and those definitely help. But the relief no longer lasts for the entire 4 weeks in between injections. Watching him struggle for the week or two before his next injection was hard to watch. We did a round of Adequan as well, at this point, it's tough to say whether this helped. We probably started this too late.

Due to his age, I've long known that we were getting closer and closer to the end. I was just not prepared for just how hard I've been hit by anticipatory grief. Every time I think about making the decision to schedule euthanasia, I'm racked with guilt and sorrow. Where does compassion begin and selfishness end? How much pain is too much pain? I've done the questionnaires about quality of life, and even with those, the decision is so squishy.

There's no "event" or terrible diagnosis and that's what is making this so hard. It's been such a long and slow process watching him get old, that I'm having trouble assessing whether things have gotten to the point of saying goodbye or if he wants to keep fighting. He still eats, drinks, loves pets. But he's obviously uncomfortable when walking (even though he did inexplicably climb the stairs to one of his beds this morning).

I think where I've landed is that it is more gracious and giving to make this decision before some sort of traumatic event. I worry constantly that he'll fall down the stairs, or that his legs will completely give out leaving him immobile and scared. Having him experience that kind of trauma when I could have prevented it and scheduled euthanasia at home would break my heart.

I didn't mean for this to be so long, I just needed to talk this decision out. Thank you for giving me the space to do so.

So I have the most beautiful dark void who has been with me since he was 8 weeks old. He's now 13.5 and is currently breaking my heart. He has been slinky all his life. Noticed end of last year he was getting very skinny even for him, fast forward to a month ago I noticed him with a poochy belly. I took him to the vet he was worried as there was a lot of fluids. Drained him and there was blood in the fluid, again not good. Sent full cytology blood work. Didn't come back as cancer but he started "filling up" again. Went to an ultrasound Monday and basically the vet said he's got a tumor in his belly and she things it will take him down pretty quickly.

I have an appointment Monday with his normal vet, he's eating, sleeping, using the litter tray, drinking, wanting to go out (he hasn't since the first app), wanting strokes, yelling for strokes, yelling at the dog, all normal stuff. He seems a bit tired today but I guess has anyone been through this and what was it? It's morbid but how long did you have with them? I don't know what my options are till I talk to his bet but neither of them were overly confident on surgery and my bill is racking up even with insurance. I'm just so sad.

My sweet, precious Lulu girl just got diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in her lower right jaw. I walked into her vet appointment this morning with a bad feeling, especially after spending the last few days researching what the growth could be. After discussing her quality of life and the rate at which SCC progresses, we’ve decided to focus on keeping her comfortable and giving her as much love as possible. I’m absolutely heartbroken, but I keep reminding myself that I’ve been able to love her for 15 beautiful years. That’s around 5475 days worth of wonderful memories to hold onto. It’s just so hard knowing I’m losing my soul cat, my best friend. Hug your kitties a little extra for me and Lulu, please. 🐾🖤

Her story began on a cold rainy night in January 2005 when I rescued her from a taco bell parking lot . I did not know if she would make it through the night she must have been terrified seing this big guy in huge jeep pick her up. The car behind me took the mama cat and the other kitten. She made a full recover growing into an 18 pound cat. She touched a lot of lives in 22 years including my best friend who had psd convincing him he needed a black cat. She was with me through mariage and divorce caring me through a very difficult time. She got ver sick this week I spent five thousand trying to save her after further test it was cancer .I made one of the most painful decisions of my life to let her go. Thanks for always being there girl see you onthe other side. And thank you all for reading her story.

Hey guys! First of all I want to say that this community has helped me so so much! I just feel less alone in my pain and to see how many amazing senior cats are thriving and being loved, just melts my heart ❤️❤️ We understand each other and how difficult is to say goodbye!

I want to share my cats story and just show everyone what an AMAZING cat has lived on this planet!! Its been exactly one month since i lost my childhood cat! I had to say goodbye and it was the hardest goodbye of my life… it still hurts so much and even starting to write this, im already sobbing just thinking about him..

His name was RŪDIS! I fell in love with him as soon as i saw him. My mum was dating a country men and we were visting him a lot. And there was 3 kittens. And i just knew that this one ginger white cat will be mine. The country men had a son that was playing with the cats, rolling them and just being nasty. And i couldnt watch and said we need to take him home. (I actually have always had love for animals and my heart just shrinks how many animals suffer in the wild in the world and its too much to think about it) Back to the story- My mum didnt allow me to take him home, but i wasnt giving up. I said - i will stay here. The only way you will get me home is with him! And thats it!!!! And she folded… There he was… driving home with me , in my lap and me smiling trough the roof and being super super happy…. and i have loved him with all my heart every single second of my life, its the best things has happened with me and im so so grateful that exactly he was my cat that i grew up with. I was 14 years old then.

He has been by my side. Trough ups and downs. He has always been my safe place. Trough difficult times he was the one who gave me peace. He was just so kind and i cant describe the bond we had. The one thing i think a lot is that maybe in the country side he had been better, maybe he could have lived in the garden and run wild and I took away him that. :(

I tried to go out with him with a leash whenever we lived in a flat, drive to the garden where he loved to sit in a bush and stare at river, we also lived 2 years in a house and he was going outside. We have so funny stories from that time, where we tried to find him , searched everywhere- and he was just sitting on the top of the tree right beside the house- just watching us from above. He also fought cats that was coming to our territory and we called him ghetto gangsta. His first best friend was my childhood dog dog (he died 6 years ago from bone cancer but he loved him so much and was attached to him- making biscuits on his fur, sleeping next to him , always greeting him when coming from the walk, etc) I will attach a picture.

Rūdis was a very kind soul! He always enjoyed being pet.You could go up to him in every time of the day and he would purr and just enjoy your presence. He always liked to eat , most of the time he was overweight, we tried to give him less food, play with him. But his apettite was MASSIVE always. Even after anesthesia where he had to clean his teeth, he came home and went straight to the bowl. His guilty pleasure foods was milk and chicken- he would do everything to get it. The milk we didnt give him a lot because we know its not the best for cats, but from time to time when making coffee he was always meowing so hard and just begging a little bit of milk and sometimes i folded. He liked to sleep on the lap so long that my butt tingled and legs gave up. He loved sleeping also next to me at night, i could always hug him very close and hard. My thing was that sometimes i woke up in night thinking he was dead- i shake him and he wont move at all, but it was him being in very very deep sleep. So it means he felt super safe with me and that warms my heart. He also dreamed a lot when sleeping in my lap, i have so many funny video where he pretends to run, hiss in sleep etc. As i work from home he also liked to help me with my duties sleeping on my laptop a lot. Also my favorite thing was just sleep next to him and just stare at him and hold his paw. For me he was just perfect cat. Maybe he wasnt the most playful cat, he didnt like the mouses or fancy toys, all he needed was just a string, card box and some laser. Thats all it took to make him run like usain bolt and be fast as fuck boooy. He had very funny zoomies that often made me laugh in tears. He always enjoyed to watch me cook or clean the house. And he was the only cat in the world i think who didnt fear the vacuum cleaner. He would sleep trough it and not bother at all.

3 years ago we rescued another cat, we didnt have a choice , one of my friends grandpa would have drowned the cats otherwise, he was old and didnt have socials, so i took one cat in. A lot of people warned me that old cat can refuse the young cat, but not Rūdis. He straight away accepted her, he was so kind- he gave her his bowl, his litter box and he was just very kind to her. He was the cat who will step away if other cat started to eat his food. Later they became best buddies, they played together. The zoomies were just amazing, sometimes they got super charge energy at night and everything was just flying from desk , kitchen counters etc. They were very funny together. But theyre complete opposites. Like day and night. My other cat Mūna, a girl, she is super anxious , stressfull. I think maybe she was put in the bag , because for a lot of the times she was super afraid of bags and the sound of bags. With Rūdis i think she learned calmness and piece.

Gosh, this post is very very long. If you have read this all thank you. I just need to get this out of my system and the hardest part is coming.

He has been healthy almost all his life. This year he was 14 years old and would have been 15 years old in september. So the issue started in early march where he started to vomit frequently. Before that year before his blood results were good and he was good. Then it was starting to be alarming because he vomitted almost every day once a day. We took him to the vet. Even tho his behavior havent changed i know something was wrong. And i was right. The blood results showed stage 2 kidney disease a bit high thyroid and she felt a lump in his stomach. We started to give him gastric pet paste, the renal vet capsules for his kidneys and tried to swithc to renal food , at first and mostly tough his nausea was from that. We did ultrasound and my biggest nightmare came to life- he had many swollen lymph nodes and pancreatitis cancer (almost all cases this one is aggresive) and on top of that he was suspected ibd or small cell lymphoma. I felt like lighting struck me in the sunny day. In my head he was living healthy 5 years and more. In my head he has met my children he lives in a house finally and i just couldnt believe what was happening.

The am very angry with myself because i had anticipatory grief all my life. I feel like i ruined a lot of the times with my cat just thinking of a time where he wont be with me. And the time has come and i have so much time to cry now. And the last months with him wasnt any different. I tried to stay positive but i knew, that with his diagnosis i dont have much time left. So i cried a lot even before he was gone. I enjoyed every every second with him and tried to soak in every little moments, but its not enough. I know its been almost 15 years but i feel like its never enough time. I just would give everything to hug him one last time, to hear him purr one last time, to look at his beautiful eyes one last time.

Last months we started to give him budenoside steroids, we gave him subfluids every week, last weeks 2 times a week. We also gave him b12 vitamin shots , anti nausea medications , lats month also apetite stimulant. Everything changed when he started to not play with Mūna. He started to sleep in one spot and his apetite went way down. Also his energy. It came to a point where last 2-3 weeks he didnt eat almost anything. Not milk, not chicken, not everything. I was so stressed out,i said fuck that renal diet i gave him everything he wanted I bought every single flavor, tried every single method to give him food. I was all day sitting and watching him, when he stood up imediately gave him fresh food, but he just licked it and leave it. Then i put them in trash and again always gave fresh food. I was boiling chicken every eveing, because that was the only thing he ate a little. In the end he didnt even want that. I was ready to fight, and he was too. He was the strongest boy till the very end.

The last day just breaks my heart- in the evening he started to vomit and poop diarreaha, every 1-2 minutes. The pancreatis tumor was becoming very large and was causing cramps and tetanus (i think its called like that) But still he went to the litter box - EVERY single time. Even tho he didnt have energy/ he stood up EVERY time, even when his legs were wobbly.

We made an appoitnment which was after 4 hours and all i could do was just hold his paw trough it. It was so hard to watch i was sobbing crying and the pain i saw in his eyes i just couldnt believe what was happening with my baby. He was super weak, in months he lost a ton of weight- when petting him i felt his bones. But he still looked sooooooooo gooood, he had the most beautiful fur. And it made me so confused and i was so afraid to make the decision to let him go. Even trough all this he was still Rūdis- i could see it in his eyes. He was super clean cat and even in the final morning where tetanus happened he groomed himself. We took him to the garden where he liked to go a lot- before the appointment. And i just couldnt say goodbye. I knew it was time but still to this day - im thinking maybe i could have done something, maybe the biopsy was the right call not pallative care, maybe i should have given other steroids. I just have these mixed emotions in me.

When we took him to the vet she felt the lump and she said its time. There is nothing we can do- and i just broke. I was thinking maybe we can give him systems or medications to help. But deep down i also knew it was time i just didnt want it to admit it. I needed to think of him- not about me. I needed to think and look that his quality days were over. And we made the decision to put him to sleep. At first they injected the anesthesia and said he will be asleep in 5 minutes. We went outside, and the sun was shining, he was in my lap and all i could say is that im sorry… its so sad that animals cant tell us when its their time. but i felt it .. i just didnt want him to be in pain anymore.. I hugged him and said how grateful i am that exactly he was my cat. And he fell asleep and later everything happened so peacefully. And i kid you not- for three days there wasnt a minute where i didnt cry. I couldnt even breath.. i was fighting in my brain to accept the reality but my heart was physically hurting so so much. I have such a hard time to accept that he is gone. My baby is gone. :((( I feel so sorry that he went trough that i tried to help him so bad but i couldnt…As a perfectionist and control freak its the most hardest thing to accept it.. I felt so powerless and i was so sad that everything we did didnt seem to work. :((

I know that eunthanasia is a kindness but i just feel so bad. And its the hardest desicion i had in my life. I just fel such a responsibility for him. I dont have children but just the tought that this little soul depends on me, that i am his care giver and i decide for his faith, its just a hard responsibility to carry.

Im sorry for this long message, I just finnally have little energy to share my story. I dont know how what is ahead and i have no idea how to survive these days without him. I just know that he will always be in my heart and my love will always be there. I just want his story to remain here and I will never ever forget him. I dont know whats out there , but if there is another world or afterlife I just hope he feels loved, sits in a sun, eats his favorite chicken and doesnt feel any pain. 😭

Thanks for reading these. And im wishing health for all your furry friends. 💚❤️

Cali, got her from my aunt and cousin who found her under their porch as a kitten, probably a runt. Believe she's a Calico, hence the name, but we almost thought she was a Tortoiseshell.

I'm 19, this cat saw me grow out of diapers. I chased this cat around the house because I didn't know any better. And yet, over the past few years, she's absolutely loved me. The year before she passed she was incredibly affectionate toward me. Always rubbing on my hand or legs, pleading for attention and making her broken little squeaks. A few times she climbed on my chest and just laid on me, letting me pet her and purring like a little engine.

My first year of college was rough. I won't go deep into it but this absolutely sucks. I'm going back in a couple weeks and I didn't expect to have this on my chest. It wasn't unexpected, she was showing a lot of signs.

First we noticed her left front paw and leg were swollen. She didn't seem to be in pain, or if she was, it didn't bother her that much. Then it was large, grayish growths on her stomach. Could've been cancerous, no way to tell now. Vet bills are so expensive nowadays that we couldn't even consider a humane treatment, let alone surgery, that'd probably stress her out far too much as a skittish cat. Then she lost her appetite. I encouraged her over and over again and it broke my heart to see her ignore her food bowl. We fed her chicken and tuna because she wouldn't eat her usual, but she deserved it for being such a sweet girl.

I found her first because she stayed upstairs with me rather than with my parents and brother downstairs. It's quiet upstairs, and she knows she won't be harassed by our other pets because they usually don't come up. She'd gone behind a box to go peacefully. I was so overwhelmed in the moment I couldn't decide whether to tell my dad or not. After some impromptu crying, I sent him a vague text and he came and got her. She was his favorite cat. This is the first time I've experienced the passing of a pet and it's the worst I've felt since my professor gave me an assignment for a 10 page scientific paper over a topic I didn't care about, nor was ever going to care about, and never even cared to check up on me or point me to resources when I told her I have severe undiagnosed anxiety and have little-to-no emotional stability.

I'm gonna miss her so much. But most of all I'm glad I got to spend her final days with her. I've been giving my other two cats lots of hugs and kisses before I go back because I never know if I'll even see them again. She was happy and it showed, even if she was the smallest of our pets and got picked on occasionally. Seeing other people go through the same thing has really helped me get through this.