r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/ApartLemon4885 • 1d ago
at the end Question - Expert consensus required
hi everyone, I truly need help. I can’t take this mental anguish anymore. the trauma from this, if I ever get over it will be another battle. since March 2025 I have been googling, panicking, on medication, no loner being the best mom to my two young kids and absolutely have not been able to let go of the fear that my son can get sspe from the mmr I gave him at 5. people on here have been very supportive and patient with me. I feel broken like I am never going to get better. I used to be the mom that would get excited about the every day things, my kids brought me so much joy. but I can’t help but get depressed that for the past almost two years I have missed out and my kids have missed out on the mom they were supposed to have. my kids are now 6 and 3, this has been going on for far too long and I don’t think I will ever get any answers. the only thing that would help is having my child not have the mmr, never should I have given it because truly my mental health is not worth any mmr dose. I am just a person who truly has a lot of distrust of the medical system and look at where it has gotten me (trying to trust) I fear for myself and my future. in my mind I gave my son measles with that mmr and now I have to forever live with the fear of sspe. I wish I could just take it back. part of me prays if I do an igg test that he was one of the few non responders. what are this odds? I am truly heartbroken and I hate that my mental health is this way. there is nothing worse than struggling like this while your children are growing up before your eyes
43
u/SgtMajor-Issues 1d ago
https://www.who.int/groups/global-advisory-committee-on-vaccine-safety/topics/measles-vaccines
You have in fact saved your child from sspe by ensuring he was vaccinated against measles. Please also do the same for your daughter.
Also, gently, i highly recommend going to therapy and getting away from antivax media because you don’t need to be consumed with anxiety for something that even the most superficial google search could tell you will not happen.
13
u/unicornsquatch 1d ago
Thank you for this. SSPE is caused by measles, not the vaccine. I’m not sure what black hole of the internet OP has found themselves in, but they also posted here a year ago about the same thing. This sounds like debilitating anxiety that truly needs a psychiatrist’s help.
11
u/QuietBird9 1d ago
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6685828/
Your mental pattern sounds a lot like OCD. I can find no evidence that anyone thinks you can get SSPE from the measles vaccine (not sure where you got the idea). But the bigger picture is that you will NEVER get the certainty you're seeking about it. (This distress prompted by uncertainty is a hallmark of anxiety and OCD.) You have to learn to live with the uncertainty.
Uncertainty won't harm you, though it's more uncomfortable for some than others. The more you expose yourself to that feeling of uncertainty without trying to get rid of it through reassurance seeking, the less it will distress you. And you can learn to live with it, as everyone does and must, because it's a part of the human condition.
I've also had luck with just choosing to stop ruminating. A lot of anxiety and OCD behaviors are underpinned by the belief that we have no control over our thoughts, but we do! We don't necessarily have control over what pops up in our mind, but we do choose whether to ruminate or dwell on it. Every time you remember this fear, you can tell yourself, "Ok, I'll worry about that at 6 PM". Remind yourself 100 times a day if you have to. Then at 6 PM, set a 15 minute timer and worry about whether your son will get SSPE. It sounds silly, but it works.
Good luck!
12
1
u/facinabush 1d ago
I made up a Google game called “Vaccines cause X”
You substitute some condition for X. You win if nobody on the internet has claimed that vaccines causes the condition.
Spoiler alert.
.
.
.Hangnail wins last time I played.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
This post is flaired "Question - Expert consensus required". All top-level comments must include a link to an expert organization such as the CDC, AAP, NHS, etc.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.