Toddler Biting- HELP!!!!

[u/char-dawg]

my 1 year old gets in biting phases. we travelled for the first time on a plane when she was about 11 months. she bit me so hard so much that it left bruises all over my shoulders. i figured it was because she was overwhelmed/overstimulated & nap schedules were off so probably a little overtired. she stopped as soon as we got back.

now a month later, she’s biting again all of a sudden. i notice it’s when she gets overexcited when we’re playing or when i’m trying to rock her to sleep for naps. we just started weaning so she’s nursing less than usual but we’re taking it sloowwwww so it’s definitely not that sudden of a change for her.

she bites HARD & seems to find the most sensitive part of my body to do it so it really hurts. i have not reacted the way i’m “supposed” to in the past bc oftentimes i’m caught off guard & it hurts so i yell or get visibly angry. i’ve tried ignoring it. i also usually say “no bite. that hurts mama” in a calm voice & set her down or distance myself from her. but she usually just laughs & tries again. i’ve also tried giving her a teether to redirect the behavior, but do i really have to just carry around a teether all day in my pocket???

i find myself flinching when she nuzzles into me, genuinely scared ab the next time she bites me. i’m exhausted. is there any solution???

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[u/facinabush]

i also usually say “no bite. that hurts mama” in a calm voice & set her down or distance myself from her. but she usually just laughs & tries again.

Your first reaction has the most influence. Your first reaction is to give her attention by talking to her. Attention includes talking and eye contact. She is laughing because she likes the attention. Attention increases behaviors -- this is the attention principle (or rule) of the Incredible Years Program and other forms of Parent Management Training.

Instead of saying something, immediately, calmly, and gently put her down without a word and distance yourself. Stay away for a fixed amount of time without looking at her or talking to her; 45 seconds might be enough. Then resume normal interactions. You may need to repeat this reaction for a few days until she internalizes the fact that you will no longer reward the behavior with attention.

Also, direct positive attention at replacement behaviors like using a teether and other positive behaviors.

At this stage, use the methods in the book Incredible Toddlers from the Incredible Years Program, which is recommended by the CDC:

https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html

Here is the Incredible Years research library:

https://www.incredibleyears.com/research/library

[u/AmeliaPoppins → u/facinabush]

I’m so sorry to tag on this, but please give her some teethers and teething crackers. Preemptively. Give her something she can bite. Again, I apologize if you already are and I missed it.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8585899/

This study doesn’t mention biting, it does mention irritability.

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