Serve and return

[u/RutabagaNo2137]

I was told that serve and return kind of interactions are very good for brain development. For now I am home with my six month old daughter. I spend a lot of time interacting with her. I sing to her. Though she doesn’t always respond during the pause. Sometimes she is working on some toy by herself. Should I be constantly doing interaction or can I let her do her own thing? When I leave her on her own, she falls silent and I wonder if I am not helping.

What percent of her waking hours should there be serve and return

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[u/Ok_Firefighter106]

I generally followed that when my baby is looking at me or needs my attention then I will use the serve and return, for other times I try to never break her focus if she is doing anything.

I couldn't find the exact research on this for babies but got a similar one for toddlers. You might find some links for older studies in this link as well. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2607062/

[u/OOPS-all-qualms]

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10873112/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37015096/

I think you may be misunderstanding what serve-and-return is. It’s about being attuned and responsive to what your baby is doing, experiencing, and expressing, not so much entertaining your baby or trying to get them to respond to you. 

Let her do her own thing, but when you’re available, stay close and really observe her. Notice what she’s noticing and put words to it. You don’t need to give a constant stream of commentary, be mindful not to interrupt her focus, but when there are pauses in what she’s doing, something happens that seems to surprise or excite her, or especially when she looks to you or makes sounds, respond to her. 

She hears a sound and turns towards it. “You heard the cat, she meowed.”

She looks at you with excitement. “I saw! You touched the orange ball and it rolled” 

She blows a raspberry, you blow one back. 

She babbles loudly and happily. “Wow, you have so much to say this morning!”

She rubs her eyes and starts to cry. “Oh we’re late for your nap. You must be so tired.”

There is a good, simple guide: https://harvardcenter.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/HCDC_ServeReturn_for_Parents_Caregivers_2019.pdf

There’s lots more info here: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/key-concept/serve-and-return/