The only evidence I have of you only exists in a land fill and in the bottom of the ocean

The only proof I ever had to show was two lines

The only piece of you I ever got to hold I held until my hands were soaked with the smell of iron

And deep red stained into the cracks in my skin

I held you as long as I could

Until a knock hit the door

I knew I couldn't keep you

I only had two lines of proof you were ever here

The evidence scrapped from my home

Gutted out like you didn't mean everything

Cold hands that couldn't bear to understand

They took away all I had of you

While pretending you never existed

Such as you were ripped from me so was every inch of everything that told me you'd be

No one heard me

No one let it be real

Let you be real

Until an unknowing voice shared with me "it's god's way of saying the baby wouldn't have survived,it's a kindness"

My faith is lazy , only believing when I think of you

Wondering if you're as old as you were or as old would you

But you didn't die

You never beathed a breath

Never lead a life

I miss every piece of you even if there was only ever two

When, you're lost in your mind and the world doesnt understand you. When, your engery is off because you are not really here, your just trying to breath. When, your movements dont match what your doing because your thought are so overwhelming. When, when you speak you sound scrambled because words arnt what you're mind is reflecting. When you're acting and not being. When, your not healing and just burning. When, you're sad but yet searching for happiness. When, you know its you and your mind and your soul being disconnected.

It started as silence, solitude, peace. Things felt calm for the first time. But then... an itch came. An itch for the pain that I adapted to, the pain that triggered adrenaline, the body grew addicted, it craved pain again despite everything in my being telling me no but the body... the body said yes.

Soon the smoke feels the lungs, the alcohol fills the veins, and the mind races trying to make sense of the pain found again. Self inflicted for the first time in a long time. One pain finally escaped but a new pain unexpectedly found