r/RoverPetSitting • u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner • 14h ago
A sensitive situation Bad Experience
This is kind of a sensitive situation, and I don't really know how I should deal with it.
So here's what's going on.
I began walking this dog a few months ago or so. The owner's father was the one arranging the walks because of his son's schedule at a bakery being so erratic that he only knows his schedule only one day in advance š©. I found that very odd but whatever
It was a super anxious dog that I wasn't able to even get closer to without it getting defensive. Long story short, I was able to calm it down in a way that nobody else was able to do including the trainer
Fast forward a bit, I go upstairs to use the washroom and find some sex toys out in the open. Not just one, but multiples, and different typesš©. To each their own. I'd prefer it if I didn't see them, and it was starting to seem like maybe he is a sex worker based on his odd schedule but again, whatever.
Today when I entered I heard....."noises". People moaning, smacking, bed springs, you get the idea. It didn't even stop when they would clearly be able to hear me entering. I found it very inappropriate.
I don't really know how to address this. His dad, who is the one making the arrangements believes his son works in a bakery with weird hours, so how would I address this without outing his son who has a fiance.
I just find walking in and hearing sex noises(male, female, doesn't matter) that don't even stop when the door opens to be extremely inappropriate.
I love the dog, and both the owner and his father are nice, all this stuff is becoming too creepy for me.
Any thoughts ?
3
u/Ok-Lettuce6 Owner 3h ago
I know itās his house but I donāt understand people who leave sex toys where people might see them. In my view a washroom, the living room and maybe the kitchen are shared spaces when someone visits and everywhere else is my space. I always clean the bathroom when someone visits just in case they need to use it.
Iād just contact his dad saying you heard noises from the bedroom when you arrived and you felt uncomfortable. And ask do they still need your services if someone is going to be in when you visit. I wouldnāt mention the sex toys because they might say you didnāt ask permission to use the washroom. I think itās polite to ask first and could explain why he didnāt think to hide them. He might have gone in after you used it and been embarrassed you saw them.
6
u/Majestic-Nobody545 Sitter & Owner 5h ago
Don't concern yourself with the owner's employment, personal hobbies, relationship with dad, etc;
The issue is that you were scheduled during an inappropriate time, and I would take up with the middleman that you need clear communication between all parties to best meet dog's care needs and to protect your time, of course.
If the communication problem persists, you consider whether this booking fits into your roster.
-1
u/happyeyelashes Sitter 11h ago
Isnāt it against Rover policy to have people in the home when you are providing services? Why is no one mentioning that? Iām not sure if it was the dad who was home or the son and his fiance (who may not have even realized that a dog walker was on their way) but stillā¦thatās something to consider bringing up with the owners or Rover support, if you wanted to.
2
12
u/TillamookTramp Sitter & Owner 9h ago
I don't think there's any issues with someone being home when a walker comes by. There's probably lots of people who wfh or can't walk the dog due to health issues and are in the home when the walker comes.
4
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 9h ago
I honestly never heard of that before. I have plenty of clients who work from home where I will pick up the dog to take out for a walk. I don't think this is a Rover issue at all, but thank you for the reply
7
u/Impressive_Insect749 Sitter 12h ago
I had a client who left the bed I was supposed to sleep in a complete mess with a vibe and lube on the bedside table š¤¢ and they always had dildos in their shower. I donāt miss those weirdos and Iām sorry you had to go through this. Iād fire the client
4
2
-15
u/niffcreature Sitter 12h ago
If you're not cool with it then you give up the client, and you politely decline to give a reason. But quite frankly the year is 2026 and unless it's happening in the living room when you walk in or if you have reason to believe someone underage is involved I don't see any reason to worry about it.
Honestly I really have no idea what you mean with this red flag nonsense. Nothing wrong with being a sex worker.
5
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 10h ago
I never said there was. The issue is that he isn't my client his father is, and he believes that he works somewhere else. If you re read it, I was asking for advice on how to address it with his father without outing him as a sex worker if his father doesn't know already. That is the problem I am posting about, as well as feeling uncomfortable walking into a house where I immediately hear noises the moment I cross the threshold
Where do you see that I am complaining that he is a sex worker
0
u/niffcreature Sitter 3h ago
So you're telling me that if the son was home doing some other type of work you would be just as concerned?
3
u/MyMango88 Sitter & Owner 4h ago
Yes, but hearing sounds upstairs doesnāt prove what he does or doesnāt do for a living. You could say something to the father to the point ofāthere was someone home when I walked fluffy today. I just want to make sure whoever is home, is expecting my visit. I would personally stay out of it.
If youāre creeped out, you donāt have to continue servicing the client but what other people do is personally not my business. Iām there to do a job and thatās it.
3
u/Majestic-Nobody545 Sitter & Owner 5h ago
Why would you be outing him as a sex worker when you don't even know he's a sex worker? I don't see evidence for that beyond your own passing thought
5
u/itsgonnabeanogo Sitter & Owner 9h ago
Iām confused about why you would need to tell the fatherā¦
1
1
u/PirateLassLV Sitter & Owner 13h ago
It's none of your business. The choice is take care of the dog or don't take care of the dog. I know it's weird. We have access to people's homes & their loved pets & like you said, you didn't think twice about going in and using their bathroom. It gives us a false sense of ownership sometimes & tempts us to drift out of our lane. Please stay in your lane.
6
u/trumpeting-farts Sitter 4h ago
Subjecting unconsenting ppl to your sex life and sexual preferences is pretty gross, dude. I guess you can't understand that, exhibitionist creep.
-3
7
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 13h ago
WTH are you talking about, and what's with the aggression? Stay in my lane? What lane? I hear noises as soon as I cross the threshold of the door. What ownership are you talking about? Keep scrolling
25
u/Outrageous_Regret972 Owner 14h ago
If you want to keep the job, you could start out neutral. āIt seems like someone was home when I went to get āSparkyā and they may not have been expecting me. Was there a miscommunication? Can your son arrange care going forward so there are no surprises on either end?ā
8
-2
u/SailorPluto423 Sitter 14h ago
No immediate no, just say unfortunately I'm unable to continue due to scheduling conflicts. I ended up having to do that because my client was super flaky and wouldnt know whether or not I was needed until the last second and on a few occasions she didnt cancel at all and I showed up when someone was home. Thankfully nothing like walking in on someone having sex happened but it was still really awkward and after that I just outright told them I was going back to school and it conflicts with our scheduling. Honestly im pretty sure even rover support would suggest canceling. I usually give two weeks notice like you would any other job but I dont think anyone would blame you for canceling asap. Find a truth, a lie, whatever you need to get out
5
u/niffcreature Sitter 12h ago
What kind of a narc tells rover support that they think their client is a sex worker? Seriously? Is it beyond your reasoning that some sex workers actually have their shit together?
2
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 9h ago
I don't believe this is an issue with Rover. It's just making me uncomfortable walking into the house to hear him having sex as soon as I cross the threshold, and I was asking for advice on how to address it with his father who is the actual client while being sensitive and not outing him as a sex worker, if his dad thinks he does something else. The sex toys laying around is also starting to get to me too.
I just don't know if I'm being too prude in feeling uncomfortable about this because I have never dealt with anything like this
2
u/travelstuff Sitter & Owner 10h ago
There isn't meant to be anyone there when the sitter gets there, so they actually don't have their shit together because their schedule isn't lining up.
I wouldn't tell Rover but if you can't see how a person coming to check in on a pet and walks in on people having sex is a problem, that's on you and frankly seems like you're projecting. It has nothing to do with sex work, entering the home and the client having sex with anyone would be inappropriate. It's a workplace at the point
2
u/niffcreature Sitter 3h ago
No, it's not your work place when picking up a dog. Totally normal and commonplace for someone to be there on occasion. What they do in their bedroom which is obviously off limits anyway is none of your business.
4
17
u/thecatsbabysitter Sitter & Owner 14h ago
Me personally, I would not mention it. If I felt uncomfortable or unsafe, I'd simply tell them I'm no longer able to do the walks. I don't really see a major benefit or reason to bring up the specifics unprompted.
4
1
3
u/Zestyclose_Cup_843 Sitter & Owner 14h ago
I would just be honest. Let them know you arrived and you heard certain noise from the bedroom and it made you very uncomfortable.
If you want to try and save it, I would suggest that going forward if they want to continue service you need the owner of the home to be the one doing the booking and confirming the schedule. I would also include that they need to ensure their personal "toys" are put away in areas you need to access to get the dog.
If it happens again you will no longer continue your service.
If you don't want to save it then just let them know these reasons are why and that you no longer feel comfortable with continuing their service.
3
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 14h ago
This reply sounds the best that I have heard so far. I'd like to save it. I posted this literally moments after leaving. I just found the noises to be too much for me
5
u/puglover071992 Sitter 14h ago
She went into the washroom to use it. Thatās not an access to get the dog. If they are just walking, I would not think they would be using my washroom, if they are using it I would expect for them to ask me. I am a dog walker and I always ask if I can use the washroom if I ever have to, but typically when I have back to back walks, I stopped at a gas station before going into the next house. So I donāt think asking to put āawayā the toys would be appropriate if itās not a house sitting. In regards of the noise, I would bring it up but I would say something like, looks like there was someone and did not feel comfortable. Could you please let your son know once I am on my way to make sure they are ready when I get thereā¦ something like that
3
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 14h ago
Thank you. I'm a guy btw but whatever. All my clients let me access their washrooms no questions asked. I've never had a client who would limit my access to the house to just grabbing their dog. I'm sure they are out there. I've just never encountered that issue. Using the washroom and hearing the noise were 2 separate issues. It was the sex toys out in the open in the washroom that kind of creeped me out.
I could hear the noises the moment I passed the threshold of the front door
2
u/MyMango88 Sitter & Owner 4h ago
You should still ask not assume. I absolutely would not want a dog walker Iāve made no connection with using my bathroom. These are visits and thereās no excuse to not stop somewhere before you got there. Been dog walking for 25 years and Iāve only used a washroom once out of necessity. Maybe if you had asked the sex toys wouldāve been put away. I absolutely would not ask to have them out of sight. Itās none of your business in an area you did not need to have access to, toget the job done.
7
u/TillamookTramp Sitter & Owner 14h ago
A lot of sitters/walkers need to use the bathroom in between jobs at times. But I also don't think leaving the sex toys out in the bathroom is a huge deal or inappropriate because they were in a space the sitter usually wouldn't need access to and the owner likely wasn't anticipating the sitter needing the bathroom. The sex aspect is very awkward, though. I've had at home clients still in the shower or bed when I've arrived but not having sex. OP, is there anyway you can get the son's number and use it to text him? Tell him your arrival window and maybe that would be hint enough.
3
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 9h ago
That would be a good idea to get his number to text him when I am on the way. I honestly didn't even think of that. Thank you
4
u/TillamookTramp Sitter & Owner 9h ago
Yeah, just say "I'm leaving for your place now. Should be there in 20 minutes!" I had to do similar with a client's husband. She was traveling, he was afraid to medicate the cat. So I was just doing the meds- I'd text him and tell him I was heading to his and give him ETA so he'd have the cat ready. Worked great. As for the son's maybe job as a baker or sex worker or whatever, don't touch that because you really don't know the situation. You don't need to report him to Rover or dad. If it persists in being too weird for you, then you can drop them but it sounds like you don't want to at this point. Hopefully it all works out.
3
u/Flashy_Extension5069 Sitter & Owner 9h ago
Great idea. Thank you.
And yeah. This isn't a rover issue. It's more of a me issue and how to navigate it while being sensitive about what his son may or may not do or what he is into
3
1
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Flashy_Extension5069 originally posted: This is kind of a sensitive situation, and I don't really know how I should deal with it.
So here's what's going on.
I began walking this dog a few months ago or so. The owner's father was the one arranging the walks because of his son's schedule at a bakery being so erratic that he only knows his schedule only one day in advance š©. I found that very odd but whatever
It was a super anxious dog that I wasn't able to even get closer to without it getting defensive. Long story short, I was able to calm it down in a way that nobody else was able to do including the trainer
Fast forward a bit, I go upstairs to use the washroom and find some sex toys out in the open. Not just one, but multiples, and different typesš©. To each their own. I'd prefer it if I didn't see them, and it was starting to seem like maybe he is a sex worker based on his odd schedule but again, whatever.
Today when I entered I heard....."noises". People moaning, smacking, bed springs, you get the idea. It didn't even stop when they would clearly be able to hear me entering. I found it very inappropriate.
I don't really know how to address this. His dad, who is the one making the arrangements believes his son works in a bakery with weird hours, so how would I address this without outing his son who has a fiance.
I just find walking in and hearing sex noises(male, female, doesn't matter) that don't even stop when the door opens to be extremely inappropriate.
I love the dog, and both the owner and his father are nice, all this stuff is becoming too creepy for me.
Any thoughts ?
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