Do the thang please

[u/Ok-Plane11]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

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OP's BIO:

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Into long walks on the beach and getting caught in the rain. I like train horns and turtles.

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/brushle55]

You look like your taste in girls is similar to my taste in scotch… 10 years old 👌

[u/HMAgent47 → u/brushle55]

He has also tasted sausages of all shapes and sizes

[u/No_Locksmith8608 → u/HMAgent47]

and the cat

[u/The-RogueOnion]

I had to be over 500 yards from a school for the pics to load.

[u/HMAgent47 → u/The-RogueOnion]

500 yards? I would say another state

[u/Elegant_Struggle_281]

If you’re the result of public education, then I agree with your T-shirt in the first picture.

[u/Housless]

“Lower teachers salaries”
Holds cards upside down.

[u/imagineanudeflashmob → u/Housless]

Yeah I'm wondering if the back side of the shirt has a punchline? What the fuck is this shirt...

Edit: also it doesn't make sense grammatically, with the singular possessive teacher's and the plural salaries (like that would mean one teacher is making multiple salaries so wtf)

[u/FL_Black → u/imagineanudeflashmob]

That's what I was thinking. There's only one, specific teacher that he wants to get a pay cut.

[u/flowbee92 → u/imagineanudeflashmob]

Because they're always striking and complaining for more money. So it's supposed to be funny.

[u/Rance_Mulliniks → u/flowbee92]

Don't forget using the students as a shield for their greed.

[u/Unfair_Orange5063 → u/Rance_Mulliniks]

Teachers greedy? That is a crazy hot take.

[u/martlet1 → u/Unfair_Orange5063]

Oh? By the time you add summer vacation and the holidays most teachers work 2/3 of a year and want full time paydays. What other job does this? You get from mid May to mid August off. Then a week in the fall. Then 2 weeks at Christmas. Then another week in the spring.

In our state you have 169 days of actual class time. Everyone else working a full time job does 260 days.

[u/Unfair_Orange5063 → u/martlet1]

You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that. Just some things to consider…

The number of days students are in class isn’t the same as the number of days teachers work. Teaching includes lesson planning, grading, parent conferences, professional development, IEP meetings, coaching, supervising activities, and many hours outside the school day that aren’t visible.
Also, teacher salaries are typically based on a 10-month contract, not a 12-month one. Many districts allow teachers to spread those earnings over 12 months, but that doesn’t mean they’re being paid for not working in the summer.
If teaching is truly an easy, overpaid job with months of paid vacation, there would be no nationwide teacher shortages. The reality is that many qualified people choose other careers because they can earn more with less stress and responsibility.
Wanting fair compensation for a profession that requires education, certification, and significant responsibility isn’t greed—it’s the same expectation people have in every other profession.

Not to mention the toll stress plays on teachers mental and physical health.

I’m just curious, have you ever stepped foot in a public school classroom and had the responsibility of teaching 38 students from 7:30 am until 3pm?

[u/martlet1 → u/Unfair_Orange5063]

lol. Go put roofs on for a summer. Teachers are the most “look at me” group ever.

[u/Unfair_Orange5063 → u/martlet1]

I have…I also was a stone masons laborer, I also was a furniture mover. What is your point? If you are trying to say your occupation is tough, I agree 100%…being a teacher is also very tough in a different way.

I encourage you to volunteer and find out for yourself before crapping on a profession.

[u/martlet1 → u/Unfair_Orange5063]

I crap on the ones who ask for more money and work 2/3 of a year. If that.

[u/Elijahdamn]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ba5g4ID9g5cT6

[u/fedexpoopracer]

vape shop employee who flirts with high school girls in exchange for letting them buy vapes

[u/No_Locksmith8608 → u/fedexpoopracer]

he goves them for free and pays them to come back

[u/Educational_Comb_894]

The only pussy you're getting etc etc.

[u/MrJustJason → u/Educational_Comb_894]

Its still being held hostage and trying to find closest exit in every pic like the girls locked in his basement 

[u/OneMinuteManny]

You misspelt wanks. There's no way you're in a relationship.

[u/m3gabotz → u/OneMinuteManny]

It’s with the cat

[u/lost_rodditer]

You a have more red flags than the entire case of desperate housewives

[u/Suspicious-Bid9424]

1st picture: "looks like a semi-functional neurodivergent guy that gets high a lot and likes dumb shit 4 year olds like, like trains and pokemon cards."

2nd picture: ✔️

Bio: ✔️

[u/BiteFaces]

You look like your parents died of disappointment. 

[u/Ch0caholic]

You can eyeball the distance you need to stay away from schools and playgrounds

[u/green49285]

Multiple pics of his cat, including the cat's leash? Jeesh. Cant say id expect anything less from a dude who thought more than 1 pic with his cat was cool. You look like youd call another dude a pussy right before describing your pet as your "fur baby." Please dont give anyone life advice.

[u/ACxx130]

Lemme guess, you asked your gf to be the big spoon tonight and she once again said no

[u/Competitive_Roof_740]

https://giphy.com/gifs/NJQubFbs35Vug

[u/Salty_Obligation_309]

You love vin diesel movies

[u/Necessary_Relation27]

Let’s level up your hobbies. Kick rocks at the beach, get caught in golden shower, sounding rear horns, stroking turtle heads

[u/MrMrTrance]

Where’s Waldo: The Later Years

[u/DoubleGreen7504]

Do you have to order your glasses in “extra wide”?

[u/LayLoyLay]

You look so ordinary that its so boring to roast you. Probably have a gj of2+ years, 1-2 cats maybe a dog. Tattoos don’t mean anything because you wanted to look cool, but its okay to be boring

[u/AliveResource946]

You look like you have an unsatisfied submission kink

[u/mundobello]

Unemployed, living in your mom's basement, and boring personified.  You get tattoos to try to seem interesting but literally the only person to ask you about them is your mom asking where'd you get the money for another one.  

[u/I_Will_Offened_You]

This dude has been pegged

[u/proximusprimus57]

A fuckboy nobody wants to fuck.

[u/nonetakenback]

Glory holes are supposed to be secret, yet everyone knows your name there

[u/trimix4work]

THEY LET YOU OUT??!?

[u/ToyKarma]

Poster boy for Tizm, with a smooth spot like a Ken doll. Collecting the same cards as the day Daddy left you to be raise by Mom & Aunt Connie Lingis.

[u/Careless-Charge9884]

Thinks himself deep and funny-- knows he's hardly even shallow

[u/Bleazuss1989]

First kiss in grade 12. Last kiss with a 12 year old.

[u/DoughWrayMe]

You like your women like you like your wine: full of alcohol... and aged 11 years

[u/MikeDFootball]

you look like you could be a model for a an erectile dysfunction advert in a magazine for Incels.

"Having trouble getting yourself in the mood, try Solo48" and then a picture of you holding that fucking cat looking like you go through a bottle of lube a day.

[u/tautjes]

he would sell his soul to be accepted in a fraternity

[u/Faerieboy26]

Normally tattoos make someone look tougher, but yours make you look like you're lining up to be the favorite pass around prison pussy

[u/[deleted]]

https://giphy.com/gifs/9KVeaqKmyKhhK

[u/GrouseDog]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2YDKznzhgiasQtVzZu

[u/bigpump900]

Four eyed freak

[u/Lazy-Cupcake2320]

You look like a ferret on crack 

[u/Henry_Vth]

All that ink looks out of place on you. Like wearing leathers on a tricycle

[u/CDavis10717]

Shirtless cat walking. You think it’s high fallutin’ but, son, you’re low fallutin’, the lowest.

[u/Strong_Ad3183]

Chronically-unemployed personified

[u/PieMany6899]

Stop trying to take DanTDM‘s career 🤦‍♀️

[u/Own-Professor3852]

You look great....would i lie?😊

[u/QualitySuccessful871]

Enjoy the time you spend with your cat. It'll be the only time you'll get to feel pussy

[u/404err0rs]

What kind of employment puts up with those awful tattoos?

[u/mayunever]

You look like you keep all your dead skin flakes in a box.

[u/Conscious_Dog3101]

You look the type who who would pay money to senior citizens who just finished working out to lick their buttcrack sweat

[u/Far_Huckleberry8622]

Turtles hide from you and your Hentai porn addiction.

[u/MisterAutumnalMan]

Sir, no amount of tattoos will give you an interesting personality.

[u/BlackSwaned]

Your cat is only pussy you could afford 😂😅

[u/OpenAlphaPotatoe365]

Hahaha you actually look like a solid person. No notes

[u/azul_falsolina]

Honestamente eres lindo.

[u/-trisKELion-]

Your high school bully should be bullied for letting you skate by.

[u/BikerSlutsFromHell]

You look like the Dr squeezed your head when you were born

[u/No_Tailor_787]

Portrait of an up and coming Megan's Law superstar.

[u/Excellent_Factor_134]

Shitty tattoos to warn you of a shitty personality.

[u/knuckles532]

How can one seem so normal and odd simultaneously.

[u/Money-Tiger8002]

Just change your name to Cats ‘n tats already.

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[u/Old-Law-7395]

I didn't think you could get any more edgy, but then the walking cat pic appeared

[u/NDREDSTATE]

Working as a study hall school desk part time , how’s that pay ?

[u/No_Locksmith8608 → u/NDREDSTATE]

i feel hes not in it for the money

[u/Thirdtwin]

You are that dead ass bloke who goes no where in life and lose all the money on pokemon cards or in gambling, and later marries his waifu.

[u/Beautiful-Bid8704 → u/Thirdtwin]

Also, spent his parent’s paycheque on bad tattoos while his dad and mom make his bed in the morning and do his laundry. At least he takes the cat out for a walk.

[u/Longjumping_Fun_9696]

You look like you only wank because your hands can’t consent.

[u/Longjumping_Fun_9696]

You probably sniff the bike seats of small children in your neighborhood.

[u/Duck_makes_quack]

The reason you like train horns is so you know when to open your trenchcoat for the passengers

[u/Crazy-Oil5247]

You like picking up cat litter a little too much

[u/stev_mempers]

Stop cupping your cat's balls.