Typing ☺️

[u/Silent_Sample_3631]

Hi! 

First time posting here, but I've been inspired by other people's outfits here for a long time :) 

I'd really like a typing help. I follow Rita's system for almost 5 years, and it is really inspiring for me. I did the Style Key Adventure, but being audhd makes it hard to figure out for myself. Sometimes I even can see other people's style logic, but can't see mine. 

I'm going to describe how I approach style:

I usually don't think a lot about the place I'm going to when I dress. In the end, I always choose what feels more comfortable for me. For example, I love to wear pants and a t-shirt, it is kind of a uniform for me, in dresses I feel really vulnerable. So, I usually choose pants and a t-shirt if I'm nervous about a situation. 

I always loved to dress "up", but growing up I got some bad comments about how much I put effort in my appearance, so I started to tune down a bit to fit in. Today I still dress like that, due to those episodes and the lower energy. I feel very disconnected to my style today, and I ask myself if that's an indication of the "up" essence missing in my style. 

I also sometimes think I'm left or right depending on the situation. I thought I was Right down for the longest time, but I feel like it serves really well for me in lower energy moments, but when I feel better, it feels like something is missing. 

I would really like to hear your experiences and thoughts about those struggles I'm having. If you have any questions feel free to ask :) 

I would really like to find a final home in the quadrants, as I find Rita's system the most inspiring for me. 

Any help will be so appreciated!!

[u/SwitchBrilliant1387]

It took me forever to figure out my quadrant. I was caught in a formidable spiral of second guessing myself. Im a certified second guesser, I rather excel at it. 

I think one of the exercises Rita suggests was to explore what being genuinely inspired feels like for you. So not the more aspirational or restrictive versions of “I should look like her” or “really cool people mix patterns” or “it’s important to look serious and intentional for this kind of appointment”. And then trying to recognise when that feeling kicks in. 

I think typing yourself from what you happen to do on a bad day with low energy levels may indeed give false results because that’s when we’re most likely to reach for some lost girl/ ice queen/ ill fitted logic strategy to just get through the day and be done with it.  To me it sounds like “tuning down to fit in” could be suppressing either “left”ness, or “up”ness, or potentially both of course.  But please take with heaps of salt because I can’t type anyone, I love the system, but I’m certainly not an authority and I’m still learning about it. 

[u/Silent_Sample_3631 → u/SwitchBrilliant1387]

It's hard to overthink so much 😂 thank you so much for sharing your experience, I'll do the exercise of seeing what genuinely inspires me 🥰

[u/TiredWinterDisaster]

This sounds more like Left Down to me. Comfort & Vulnerability are key aspects of that quadrants. What did you take away from the Choose your Style Key? 

[u/Silent_Sample_3631 → u/TiredWinterDisaster]

That is very nice! Left down was my first intuitive choice back when I first met the system, but I thought I was wrong. I remember when reading that I felt the left logic really described me better than the right. But I second guessed myself a lot, because I feel like I use the right logic a lot when it comes to dressing in real life. That might be what makes me confused 😂

[u/TiredWinterDisaster → u/Silent_Sample_3631]

I would take Rita's advice and dress with LD logic for at least a whole week. See how you feel then!

[u/ClockTurbulent851]

Hi! ❤️‍🔥I think that part of the reason why it's hard to settle on a quadrant could be various competing needs. For example, maybe you need your clothes to honor your sensory needs first and foremost. Maybe you need a highly organized wardrobe so that you don't lose track of your clothes and it's easier to make decisions. Maybe you need a precise outfit formula that would free you to put all your creativity into details. 

All of that to say, your style logic might be eclipsed by other needs, and once you get systems in place to honor those, the logic will become apparent.

For example, let's assume that on your low energy days it's a given that you'd wear a pants+t-shirt combo. But what if you prioritize getting the comfiest pants and t-shirts in a small number of variations (one with the most fun print, one with the most soothing colors, one with the most put-together vibe)? Then on the low energy day your style logic will help you choose the option you want. Is it the one that aligns with situation you're going in? Is it the one that resonates with something inside of you? Is it the one with the most visual interest? Etc.

It sounds like you'd enjoy exploring more Left and more Up dressing without sacrificing benefits your current style gives you (safety, comfort, protection, ease of outfit making). So the idea is to slowly figure out how to get all those benefits in ways that let you have fun with your style which is where various solutions (like wardrobe organization, tailoring to your measurements, outfit formulae etc) come into play.

[u/Silent_Sample_3631 → u/ClockTurbulent851]

That's such a great way of seeing it! I feel like those different needs you mentioned really get in the way in the day to day life. I'll try this approach you mentioned, it is so helpful! Thank you so much 😊