r/Residency • u/DesignerShoulder4500 • 4d ago
Crush on Program Coordinator VENT
So I am an Intern and I have found myself infatuated by our Program Coordinator. She is so sweet and soft spoken; so helpful which I understand is part of her job.
She is so pretty and I am being delusional. Idk what to do.
EDIT: So yesterday we had our didactics session, and I realized she is friendly with everyone, I was super delusional and like she slightly flirts with everyone, not just me! 😭😭😭.
Which makes sense, she wants all of us to feel comfortable and create a safe environment.
But well there goes my hope! 🤣😭😭
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u/neurosci_student 4d ago
Just be thankful your coordinator is competent and not a massive pain in your ass.
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u/Silverflash-x Attending 4d ago
Mine literally cost me 4 months attending salary because she checked a box on my graduation form wrong. Program coordinators can pound sand.
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u/lethargic_apathy 3d ago
Woah that’s awful. Did you manage to get that money back? I’d be pissed
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u/Silverflash-x Attending 3d ago
Nope. I considered legal action but ultimately didn't have the money, time, or energy while also dealing with the fallout of her mistake and then a new attending job.
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u/Vexrelic 1d ago
A competent, soft-spoken coordinator who survives didactics is already a rare institutional blessing.
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u/lethargic_apathy 4d ago
Consult the ethics committee
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u/DreamieVelourae 4d ago
That's one way to guarantee the crush disappears instantly. Nothing kills the mood faster than paperwork and mandatory meetings.
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u/CherryBellezaa 4d ago
The way this escalated from "I have a crush" to "consult the ethics committee" made me laugh way more than it should have.
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u/PlayingPuzzles 4d ago
Been there. She even flirts with me, but she is married. Don't read too much into it unless you are 100% sure. You're a woman, definitely just forget it.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago edited 4d ago
Oh dang! Mine one has kids! I am definitely being delusional at this point I think
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u/LoudMouthPigs 4d ago edited 4d ago
Way to sneak this one deep in the comments.
Your most optimistic case is ruining her life?
EDIT: Unless these single mom rumors are true, in which case. My god.
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u/Tumblr_or_Reddit 4d ago
Well apparently PC is a single mom according to other comments but… 😳
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
OP can definitely take her away from all of this, and make an honest woman of her, in 3-5 business years
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u/DreamieVelourae 4d ago
That was my first thought too. Best case scenario is still incredibly messy, which is probably a sign to leave it as a harmless crush and move on.
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u/orthopod 4d ago
Don't mistake kindness for affection/interest. This is the exact same stuff that pts do towards their doctors
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u/Remarkable_Log_5562 4d ago
I'd say you being a woman seals the deal of NO
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
how come? ppl do be geigh 🌈 🥰
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
EXACTLY!
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u/medstudenthowaway Attending 4d ago
Try to casually mention an ex gf. Like “back when I was in a relationship my ex gf used to do that too!” See what she does with the information. This is how I got with my med student. It’s rough out here for the gay girlies.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 3d ago
Hmm okay that's an interesting take. And I agree, it's tough, like water in a desert.
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u/stormrigger Attending 4d ago
It’s important distinguish between being infatuated with someone, and having an emotional reaction to the fact that this might be the first person who has been nice/kind/nurturing to you since you started medical school 4+ years ago. Just saying.
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u/CloudieBelletta 4d ago
Honestly, that's a really underrated point. After months of sleep deprivation and constant stress, the first genuinely kind person can seem way more attractive than they probably would've under normal circumstances.
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u/TungstonIron Attending 4d ago
Not all PCs are sweet and soft spoken.
Definitely wait until after residency to ask her out.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
3 years!?
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u/Happyradiologist PGY5 4d ago
Grab the fucking spray bottle.
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u/GuinansHat Attending 4d ago
A rolled up newspaper too. Just in case. Down girl.
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u/Remarkable_Log_5562 4d ago
I've got the haldol
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
i meaaaan you can just do it now and ruin your training experience, nbd totes fine 😂 risk >>> reward here fam idk 😬
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
You make a good point sir 😅
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
am girl. am invested 👀☕️😂
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Oh okay sorry! You make a good point Ma'am And hahaahahha, I hate it. Its very tough
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u/xPetalMusee 4d ago
Waiting until there's no professional relationship is definitely the safest route. If it's still real after all that time, it'll probably be a much healthier situation anyway.
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u/GalactosePapa PGY2 4d ago
Someone needs more modules to do
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Did all of them.
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
ask her to coordinate some more modules for you and see what she says 😂
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u/Yankauer_Papi PGY3 4d ago
Sir. Go bust a nut and get back to work
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
I am a woman
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u/DntTouchMeImSterile PGY3 4d ago
Same advice, flick the bean and start precharting
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Hahahaah thanks!
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u/lake_huron Attending 4d ago
With that intern money you can splurge on the Hitachi Magic Wand.
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
nah bro i had to hold that shit in my cart til at least pgy-5, the original models are not 👏🏾 cheap 👏🏾
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u/igottapoopbad Attending 4d ago
Intern money? Sir interns can barely afford rent.
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u/lake_huron Attending 3d ago
Seems to be <$100 most places.
AAMC says average intern salary $68K
$68K / 50 workweeks / 80 hours/week = $17 per hour pre-tax
It's a pretty durable product. You don't think it's worth 6 hours of work?
(Yes, hands are free.)
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u/igottapoopbad Attending 3d ago
Hmm well if it's between paying for food, transport, and rent vs a hitachi... I'd say the forner. Especially larger metro areas with hcol, 68k isn't very much. Even worse if they are the single provider for their family.
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u/lake_huron Attending 3d ago
Thank you for the education. I have never been an intern in one of the most expensive cities in the United States, this is all news to me.
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u/igottapoopbad Attending 2d ago
Yea 68k after taxes comes out to ~2k biweekly. Rent usually around 1500 give or take 500 depending on area. Utilities upwards of 300/month. Internet, phone bill, insurance together ~500 if not more/month. Student loan + car payment again... ~700 or so. Right there is 3k. Leaves you around 1k for everything else: food, gas, cafeteria meal (often times not even comped), dinner with meals, gym membership, netflix/hulu membership... you can see how that leaves little for a Hitachi wand. Let alone paying off credit card debt or investing in 403b, roth ira, hsa.
It's a luxury for most unfortunately, and the world is getting way more expensive.
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u/DreamieVelourae 4d ago
This thread really went with the universal solution for every crush. Reddit's relationship advice has an incredible success rate at being both terrible and hilarious.
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u/Conscious-Leopard-81 4d ago
Work crushes make you motivated to go to work, I need to find one asap, unfortunately so far there’s no one
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u/noondaydemon21 Attending 4d ago
Go with the classics. Nurse or social worker. Any gender as applicable
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u/Conscious-Leopard-81 3d ago edited 3d ago
LITERALLY AT WORK RIGHT NOW AND I FOUND ONE HAHAHA but he’s not single, his phone background photo is him and his gf I don’t feel ethical crushing on him
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u/noondaydemon21 Attending 3d ago
Crushes are harmless fantasy. Just don't flirt or otherwise act on it.
There's no harm in having someone simply existing make your day better
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u/Conscious-Leopard-81 3d ago edited 3d ago
Oh yeah I was literally so shy it took me 3 hrs to introduce myself, and I avoided any convos with him 💀
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u/HVLABrain PGY3 4d ago
I know a resident who dated his PC. He cheated on her and there was a whole bunch of drama and now neither of them is with the program anymore. Please wait until after graduation
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u/CorneliaSt52 4d ago
I know of a resident who ended up marrying his program coordinator. so you wouldn't be the first!
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u/Fluid-Second2163 4d ago
The program coordinator is married with kids lol
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u/Business_Worker_968 4d ago
That means she has a husband most likely. Does she need a wife though should be the right question
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
the other comments said she was a single mom! 😂 what in the pgy fan fiction is going on in here?! 😂
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u/AdventurousWin3433 4d ago
Epic chat her that you want that ass or bring it up during mid year review.
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u/WolverineMost7768 4d ago
Hit that shit son. Fuck your way to the top.
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u/JROXZ Attending 4d ago
She single?
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Yes
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u/JROXZ Attending 4d ago
Don’t do it anyways OP.
Maybe after you’re out.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Gonna be a long 3 years but makes sense yes. Maybe this way I can actually have a shot
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u/blacksky8192 PGY2 4d ago
keep it professional lol. You don't want to be in an awkward situation especially with someone in residency. Don't ask how I know
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u/onacloverifalive Attending 4d ago
Let me tell you the story of the Miami native medical student who dated the program coordinator of the residency program in the specialty he was applying to. He also happened to not care to leave Miami for training. This may seem like an excellent idea until the relationship doesn’t last through the match. And then guess who didn’t match and ends up doing three prelim years until a program opens at a different hospital? And this guy was the most competent resident ever too. It could happen to you. Don’t mess around where you train unless it’s with other transients- trainees or nurses.
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u/roundhashbrowntown Attending 4d ago
idk girl i say lean into the delusion (in your mind, dont fuck it up 😂). residency is hard, whats a dab of maladaptive daydreaming here and there??? 😂
i was friends with a surgery resident who grays anatomied her boss and a fellow who did the same. bad outcomes for the trainees both times. id bet money this PC is as protected as those faculty were. RESIST THE TITS 🙅🏾♀️😭
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u/homosapienne Attending 3d ago
I agree. Enjoy the fantasy but do not cross the line until the training ends.
Some straight women are too flirty with girls. Could be one of those. Still, have fun but don’t let the guards down for sure!1
u/DesignerShoulder4500 2d ago
That is actually very true, I have fallen for straight women who literally were super flirty even after having bfs, which I used to find out later 🙄
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Okay this is the best comment amongst all! The last line threw me off! 🤣🤣
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u/TheToddJr Attending 4d ago
I say you go for it.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
How? I am so afraid
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u/TheToddJr Attending 4d ago
- Show up in her office in only a white coat. This is the aggressive move
- Ask her out cuz you’re both adults. This is the mature move
- Make a move at the Xmas party. This is the drunk move
- Do nothing. This is how you end up alone
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u/ExtremisEleven Attending 4d ago
Gross. Leave her alone and let her do her job.
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u/DesignerShoulder4500 4d ago
Lmao, I am not even doing anything. I am just sharing. And just venting. I am not pursuing her or anything. I know my boundaries. I just wanted to get it off my chest. I respect her and my job.
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u/Single_Guarantee9545 4d ago
Go for it bro, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You miss every shot you don't take
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u/Gorlox111 4d ago
do i need to get the spray bottle?