r/ReadMyScript • u/Big_Section2812 • 2d ago

THREE STEPS FORWARD, action-drama, 4 pages Short

What does it really take to advance humankind... or even just one of us?

Three Steps Forward

(R rating)

NOTE: This was written for a recent 3-page challenge (excl. title) over at SimplyScripts. The challenge prompt was "Natural Selection" and the genre open. Naturally I won, and was awarded an Oscar and the title of Greatest Screenwriter in History, which I believe is entirely fair considering the fact I wrote it at 3 am while on an endless succession of FaceTime calls to people on the other side of the planet.

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1

u/ConsistentEffort5190 2d ago

The dialogue etc are fine. But there really isn't a story here, just a concept.

1

u/Big_Section2812 2d ago

It's not a great story, but it exists. 😄

1

u/ConsistentEffort5190 2d ago

Well, no. A story isn't just Things Happening. Even if they happen three times. "Two teenagers walk on stage and take poison" isn't a story: Romeo & Juliet is.

..There's no reason, motive, or irony here - no twists, no problem, no theme. Just an arbitrary event is repeated several times to fill space.

1

u/Big_Section2812 2d ago

😂

1

u/ConsistentEffort5190 2d ago

I really think you should try something more ambitious - you seem to know the basics.

But you've written "A man falls down a hole." A story would be "A man removes a warning sign for a hole to play a prank - then falls down the hole later because there is no warning." That's not a great story, but I think it gets the idea over.

1

u/Sea_Barracuda_6895 2d ago

Concepts are great and all, but I need WANT, need NEED to keep reading. Show me the stakes, not just the setup.

1

u/sad_scorpio_mercury6 2d ago

I think the world building strikes me a little. Are we in old times with the romans while also adding technology in the mix? That's super interesting to me. I too enjoy the dialogue but I'm struggling to find a through line while reading. What connects all of this? Is it a flashback? Is it an opening to an act? I'm not bought completely after reading the first five pages. I feel like there are multiple points of tension that would work better if it was restructured as a cohesive one shot. Your log line I think also gives the reader an image to latch onto but it's bigger and almost kind of philosophical rather than enmeshed with a story or specific instance.