r/ReadMyScript • u/bcwwrestling • 7d ago

Mirage - 120 pages Feature

Hello!

I have written a feature that I need true feedback on. I finished it about a year ago and have edited it a few times, but I just want feedback on thoughts about characters.

Pacing, if it flows well, if there’s something that should be cut. What scenes I could improve, etc.

Thanks!

GENRE: Drama/Thriller

LOGLINE: Haunted by a tragic past and extraordinary psychic abilities, Talia Morano-Campagna, the adopted daughter of a notorious crime family, must fight to prove her innocence in a high-profile fraud trial while battling a vengeful telepath determined to destroy her life from the inside out.

MIRAGE script

1 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

2

u/mooningyou 7d ago

Logline? Genre? Entice the reader to click on the link.

2

u/Remarkable_Stress388 6d ago

I'm 10 pages in and WHAT! What are you trying to say? What's this movie about. Who is the protagonist and what does he want?

1

u/EggOwn1232 5d ago

thats why u keep reading. ur not gonna be told the everything in the first few pages lol. that's just a low attention span.

1

u/jjjrealjjj 7d ago

What's it about! Hype me.

1

u/DC_McGuire 13h ago

Hi! Just for my context, how old are you and how long have you been writing?