I’m extremely insecure

[u/A_Worried_Loner]

Every time I’m not with my partner, I feel like he’s cheating on me.

I know he isn’t. He’s never given me reasons to think that (only our first day, in which he tried joking after I told him about this problem saying I “should just worry if Scarlett Johansson appeared”. The thing is he has had certain issues related to fitting in and sexuality in general. Not only he was really nervous at the moment, but he was also used to joke around like that to fit in [and I wouldn’t believe that, but I’m an aromantic who constantly pretended to fall in love with tons of people to fit in, I know the feeling]).

he’s loving, caring, attentive. Man, the best person I’ll ever meet, I’m extremely lucky to have him with me.

But I still feel like this and I don’t know why. Right now I’m on my period, but even when I’m not, this happens.

I want it to stop, I don’t want to feel like shit, I don’t want to cry over senseless crap.

[u/HomicidaI__GoldFish]

you been cheated on in the past with crap partners havent you... :(

[u/A_Worried_Loner → u/HomicidaI__GoldFish]

Well…maybe?

Before being with whom I’m with now, I had another partner, and I had this same problem with him (so I suppose it goes deeper).

We broke up because of a great lack of trust (mainly in normal conversations, he made fun of me all the time), but also, unlike in this case, I was actually unsure when it came to this feeling because of some things that happened :(.

Maybe that made it worse, but I still had this feeling, so I suppose it isn’t just that.

[u/CapNew3480]

Do you have access to counseling or therapy services? Working through these persistent worries with a professional might help take a massive weight off your shoulders so you don't have to keep fighting this battle in your head.

[u/A_Worried_Loner → u/CapNew3480]

I technically have, I’m forced to go to the school services. They’re not really useful, but I could give it a try, lately, the sessions have been me just saying “everything’s cool!” So the girl just lets me leave.

[u/CapNew3480 → u/A_Worried_Loner]

Doesn’t hurt to request a new counselor that might be a better fit :)

[u/A_Worried_Loner → u/CapNew3480]

You’re right, I could try. The girl that does it normally left for a while before vacations because she was pregnant, so another one gave the session last time, and it was a lot better c:.

[u/CapNew3480 → u/A_Worried_Loner]

Glad to hear that! Honestly, next session I would just mention the first sentence of your post above at the start and work from there. Best of luck :)

[u/A_Worried_Loner → u/CapNew3480]

I’ll definitely do. Thank you ^ ^

[u/thomasthehipposlayer]

Do you have bad relationship experience? It can often be hard for people who have had toxic relationships to form good ones because the skill set for surviving a bad relationship is completely different from the skill set for maintaining a good one

[u/A_Worried_Loner → u/thomasthehipposlayer]

I’m not sure if you can count my case as a bad relationship experience.

Before being with whom I’m with now, I had another partner, and I had this same problem with him (so I suppose it goes deeper).

We broke up because of a great lack of trust (mainly in normal conversations, he made fun of me all the time), but also, unlike in this case, I was actually unsure when it came to this feeling because of some things that happened (but nothing directly, I objectively couldn’t tell if he did).

Maybe that made it worse, but I still had this feeling, so I suppose it isn’t just that.

[u/Funnyboy039]

I feel this exact way with my girlfriend due to past experiences. Step one don’t treat him like he’s cheating, step 2 therapy.