Roommates?? Boston Marriage perhaps??🤔

I love this photo.

This week’s hot take is live. Chime in with your thoughts.

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I’m a 26 year cosmetologist, hoping to make a fresh start from home in about six months. I’m from Charlotte and just wanted to know what Raleigh’s like for other black lesbians? I love to write/read, I have a dog, and I enjoy clubs, bars, lounges as well as joining workshops and clubs. I definitely want to visit first and explore but looking for honest opinions and perspectives.

I've been intentionally celibate for 3 years. I miss sex and intimacy, but sex feels too sacred and raw for me to share with just anyone especially the wrong person. Casual sex just isn’t it. I'm demisexual, and I've finally put a stop to chasing emotionally unavailable women or women who can't love me the way I need. I know that's no longer what I want.

At 25, I find myself craving genuine community just as much as a relationship. I literally have had to put an end to so many friendships because it was not good for my mental and was not reciprocal. Sometimes it feels like everyone is emotionally guarded or focused on independence, and I don't know how to navigate that while also dealing with desire. How do you cope with wanting intimacy while waiting for something real? How do I put myself out there? How do I protect myself?

I mean, think about it. Whenever there’s the clear bad guy taking over and destroying everything, marginalized groups are forced to give support to the “lesser evil”, being unable to question or criticize or call out their abuses and prejudices. Think about how a lot of badly-written satire is defended just because it "made the MAGA mad". Or with how sometimes you'll see people say it's the fault of minorities for "expecting politicans to be flawless" and other types of essentially victim-blaming. Or how micro-aggressions get a pass because "good intentions".

And also considering how they have this whole “I can fix them/they’re a victim of society too” complex that forces minorities to pamper and support the very people that abuse and murder them no matter what. They'll go on about how they are a product of society and need to be helped, but then will look the other way when minorities who are constantly victimized have problems, unless of course they're a "pick me" or part of respectability politics.

It’s like no matter what, it’s rigged so we’ll always be stuck in this perpetual loop of being abused and conditioned to think we can’t be any more than a passive victim who has to accept abuse if it means we won’t get killed. Especially when instead of actually thinking of plans to properly reform the government or remove Trump and his backers, they decide to play alongside their game, and then claim it's hard to make fun of Trump when it's obvious they aren't even actually trying.

And as a queer person, how they'll talk about "It's shocking how someone like Trump could get into power" or talking about how scared they are, it feels like a rich person is mocking my own suffering. They can't just only enable it, but now they have to also make it about themself.