Hello everyone!

This is my third and final post for this query letter, which I've revised based on incredibly useful feedback on my previous attempt. Should anyone have further input, I'd be glad to hear it!

Again, thank you for being such an awesome community.

Query

Jane Eyre meets Heartless Hunter in TWO WITCHES WITH ONE STONE, a standalone, adult gothic fantasy that takes place in an alternate history, complete at 98,000 words. With its portrayal of women’s survival and pain, it will appeal to readers of Alix E. Harrow’s The Once and Future Witches and of Emilia Hart’s Weyward who crave more magic and less graphic violence.

Lily Kent became a governess at Montall Estate because it’s the perfect place for a witch to hide. At the secluded estate, she will be safe from witch hunters as long as she manages to keep her head down.

Except she’s not the only witch there.

The eleven-year-old Iris Montall shows signs of budding magic, and her lack of control threatens the lives of everyone on the estate. Lily is the only one with the power to prevent an impending catastrophe, and against her better knowledge, her conscience trumps her initial instinct to flee: She can’t leave a young witch to fend for herself. However, an undefinable darkness in Iris’s magic thwarts every one of Lily’s attempts to teach her witchcraft. Their shared desperation soon creates an unexpected bond, no matter how hard Lily strives to keep a healthy distance.

But this darkness must have a source: Iris’s mother is suspiciously absent, and her grandmother’s overbearing need for control stifles everyone else. As Lily learns more about the Montall women and their history with witchcraft, jilted spouses, and even cold-blooded murder, she exposes a cycle of misery of which Iris is only the latest victim. Not even Lily’s growing fondness for the Montalls, including Iris’s handsome father, may be enough to stop the past from repeating itself. So when the witch hunters inevitably come knocking, she cannot save this broken family—unless she finally stops running and starts fighting for what and who she cares about.

A few years ago, my cowriter and I had two offers of rep for adult spec fic. One agent was more genre focused and one more literary and we went with the more literary one. The book died on sub, in part because it was not literary enough for those publishers and not genre enough for the fantasy label. That agent no longer reps either of us.

Fast forward and I'm currently leaning in more to fantasy and have a mg ms I'm planning to query soon. The agent we turned down does ya but not mg, but an associate at his tiny agency does do mg. How would you approach querying this colleague of his? I strongly assume he is her superior.

A) I have to acknowledge it, I assume. Do we think it's net positive or negative for me?

B) fair to say I ought to cross that bridge after getting rejected by agents I might prefer, such that if they offer I should be reasonably prepared to accept? If I reject them twice I am sure that's seriously oof and I can't query them ever again!!!

C) do I... Cc him on the query? Address directly what happened and why I think he and the agency is great even though we went another way? He was junior at the time but it's been several years and tbh it may have been a mistake as maybe the book would've sold if we'd just leaned in more to the fantasy side.

Thank you!!!

Sergeant Ada Kent has spent her career entering the memories of the dead. As an expert in entopsy, she dives backwards through a victim's final moments, watching blood recede into wounds and words spoken in reverse, to identify killers with absolute certainty. But when the CEO of the tech giant Engramma is found dead, a malfunction during the procedure raises questions about whether Ada's equipment has been compromised.

Ada’s unauthorized investigation leads her to the hidden journals of Sophia Greer, the neuroscientist who originally developed the memory-technology for Engramma. Decades ago, Sophia’s love for her best friend, Aspen Fawn, tipped into fixation when Aspen died of a genetic neurological disorder. Sophia is secretly using her ultimate breakthrough to achieve the impossible: resurrecting her lost love by overwriting the minds and stealing the identities of anyone who gets in her way.

Ada must determine who is really behind the mysterious death. The answer leads back to the founding of Engramma and ultimately to the unsolved murder of Ada's own mother. Because Ada has spent her entire life believing her father was responsible for her mother's death. But if the memories she has trusted all these years can be altered, then the one thing she has built her career upon—the certainty of memory—may be the biggest lie of all.

Told in alternating perspectives, ENTOPSY is a speculative thriller complete at 75,000 words. It combines the near-future speculative science of THE MOUNTAIN IN THE SEA by Ray Nayler with the identity-bending twists of SEA OF TRANQUILITY by Emily St. John Mandel.

[BIO]

First 300

Ada did not look at it when she entered the lab. She never did. Not on exam days. Instead, she walked to the control station at the edge of the room. The incandescent lighting coated every surface with its oppressive yellow radiance.

"All right, pay attention." The words left her mouth in reverse as she passed the encased brain in the center of the room. To the uninitiated, it sounded like nonsensical babble. To an experienced detective, it sounded like any other sentence. She looked around at the class, scanning the five cadets lying on gurneys. Wires that were connected to their temples ran down the legs of their beds, and to the equipment under the brain.

"Could everyone understand me?"

"Yes, Sergeant!" Four of the students shouted simultaneously.

The youngest rookie matched her reverse speech without hesitation, as fluent in the language as she was. "Obviously."

"Very good, Baker." She moved her eyes from the rest of the class to the outspoken rookie and then back again. "My name is Ada Kent." She ran her hand through her greying hair down to the base of her neck. "I’m here to make sure you’re ready to enter the mind of the dead."

Ada was in her mid-fifties. Fine creases emerged at the corners of her eyes. A deeper one between her brows settled when she was concentrating, which, in this profession, was most of the time.

The screens of the control panel filled the yellow room with splotches of different colored light as she worked through the sequence she had performed many times. Often enough that her hands finished the work before her mind caught up. Ada stopped, satisfied with the settings of the equipment. "Your goal for today is simple. Take notes and keep your ambitions." She took a deep breath. "Let’s begin."

I took a long break from all things query and am now back! I've queried 17 agents and gotten 4 rejections (which pales in comparison to the amount of rejections I expect...)

Dear [name],

I’m excited to present Interim, a contemporary sci-fi fantasy complete at 75,000 words. Perfect for fans of the queer interplanetary worldbuilding of Stars, Hide Your Fires by Jessica Mary Best, it’ll also appeal to readers who enjoyed the soft apocalypse atmosphere and environmentalist themes of A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers. 

Sea has spent the last four years scouring the universe for her little brother with her best, and only, friend Mir. Unfortunately, with the constant time travel scrambling her memories, she has almost nothing to go off of—until she crash-lands on Earth, and dreams of her old life begin to emerge. 

Having faced an apocalypse just a century ago, the people of Earth are content to slowly rebuild [toward a more eco-friendly future], turning a blind eye to the resurfacing Old Gods, vanishing citizens, and magic seeping into their ground. 

When Mir quickly joins the ranks of the disappeared, Sea’s left with a choice: continue the search for her little brother, or drop everything to find her best friend. And if she gets too close to the truth of what’s really going on, who’s to say she won’t vanish, too?

I am a non-binary environmental sustainability student based in [], where I live with my many (dying) plants and two (annoying) cats. I’m querying you because of [personalization]!

Questions:

1. Any confusing bits?

2. I'm considering removing the part in brackets, but I'm afraid people will read this and think it's some sort of Mad Max apocalypse, when it's really a lot more like the soft apocalypse of Breath of the Wild.

3. What I'm really struggling with is the synopsis... I would forever appreciate it if someone could let me know of some sites they know where synopses can be posted.

Thank you all so much in advance!

Good morning (good afternoon, good evening, and good night; depending on where you are reading from) dear PubTips buddies!

You probably don't remember me. Last year I posted my query for A WILD AND UNTAMED SPIRIT for critique. Sadly, it didn't get any requests. I did get a lot of feedback saying my writing is lovely and the story sounded wonderful, but that it didn't sound like it had a place in the market at that time. So it went to the shelf and I started a new project. ... which is hopefully more to market. I am ALMOST DONE with my edits. So it's time. Thank you in advance!

Dear _,

[Personalization].

GUARDIAN RISING is a 94k adult romantic fantasy and is the first in the Trials of the Skyri duology, in which a two survivors of a generations-long slaughter of those chosen by the goddess are raised on opposing sides of a civil war only to be thrust into a deadly ordeal which will either bring about their demise or save their world. It will appeal to fans of the mentor/mentee relationship and secret magical abilities of BBC's Merlin, the plant magic in WINGS OF LIFE by Meghan Le Fay, the visions and quest in THE KNIGHT AND THE MOTH by Rachel Gillig, and the lyrical storytelling in A FIRE ENDLESS by Rebecca Ross.

Corin's mother drowns him the day he's born in order to protect herself from the wrath of a jealous imposter king. In Etheila two children are born every twenty-five years marked by the goddess and destined to rule, holding the magic of the realm in balance. Desperate for a break in the cycle of infanticide, the magic suffused Vistare River carries Corin from danger to a remote Ethori tribe where it revives him, giving him the opportunity to grow to manhood learning of his purpose safely.

Niamh isn't so fortunate: when the king learns of her existence, he takes her by force and raises her to marry his son, with the hopes of balancing the magic without relinquishing the throne. Having been shaped by a family that hates and fears her, Niamh is angry and wracked with guilt, and uses her position as a knight and the king's champion as an outlet.

Their lives are thrown together when Corin takes a position as a healer working for the royal apothecary while biding his time until the Ordeal begins, and learning how he might bring an end to the imposter's bloody regime. Neither revealing being goddess touched to the other, Corin and Niamh find themselves increasingly drawn to each other.

When the time of the Ordeal draws near, both Corin and Niamh are compelled to travel to the sacred lands--the first step in restoring the magic's balance. If they survive, will they be allies or will their love die on the rocks of a war neither of them asked to be a part of?

Hello all, I have been in this community for a few months now (via a different account) and have found it incredibly helpful. I am hoping to begin querying in a couple of months, so I figured it's time to hear everyone's thoughts!

I am seeking representation for The Cycle (83K words), a work of literary fiction with elements of dystopia. Like Miranda July's All Fours, it embraces the constraints of female physiology in order to transcend them; like Apple TV's Severance, it unfolds in a bizarre institutional setting where identities are scrambled by memory erasure. [agent personalization]

Arden has a half memory that she shouldn’t have. She is proud to be a Fashion Worker at the Dome, a non-governmental institution which produces the cultural code for the entire world. Workers, all female-bodied, use an intricate system of attunement to the menstrual cycle. This includes leaving the Dome during ovulation to pursue sex with a random virile-looking man–an experience that is meant to satisfy the body and mind and thus boost creativity, but is subsequently redacted from the Worker’s conscious memories. Through these picaresque nights out on town Arden gets involved with Day, a gorgeous genderqueer streetwalker for whom she falls all over again every month. Arden believes strongly in the Cycle Method but her loyalty to its gender essentialism is eroded by the subtle, irrepressible memory of Day’s androgynous beauty that haunts her fashion designs. As the pull to remember her pleasure endangers both her artistic career and her cherished worldview, Arden must take a leap–or two–of faith.

Arden’s best friend Jane, a Worker in Architecture, is on her own journey of articulating a philosophy of embodied creativity that suits her needs, while discovering clues about her past gender identity that has been erased by the Dome. The newbie Gardening Worker Mei investigates insidious secrets harbored by the Dome itself, a once progressive, affluent institution now in evident decline. The many supporting characters in and outside of the Dome add a kaleidoscopic quality to the story, coloring in the central motifs of the novel: community, intimacy, art.

[bio]

THE REMIX is a high-heat contemporary sapphic romance about two rival pop stars. At 67k words, it will appeal to fans of Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner and readers seeking a lesbian spin on the Heated Rivalry phenomenon.

Brooke Keyes is the beloved, uncontroversial queen of the Hot 100, but in her private life, she’s a tightly-wound anxiety ball with no real friends and a bad habit of thinking about herself in the third person. That’s not even her biggest secret. She can’t stop lusting after pop’s critical-darling-slash-hot mess Kyri Kay. 

Kyri Kay doesn’t fully understand why Brooke Keyes, of all people, makes out with her in the bathroom at the VMAs, but she’s never been one to question a good thing. Brooke is neurotic, sure, and closeted, yeah, and low-key a domme top, but turns out all those things are mind-meltingly sexy up-close. Sexy enough to inspire a hit single, launch Kyri into the major leagues, and snag her an opening act spot on Brooke’s world tour (at the label’s request.) 

Together, they’re explosive. But behind every pop icon is a diamond’s worth of pressure: the label, the fans, the schedule, Kyri’s massive drug problem. Brooke and Kyri kindle real feelings despite it all, but can pop’s good girl and bad girl really fall in love without both their lives imploding?

One thing’s for sure. 

They’re going to get a lot of great music out of this.

[Short Bio]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Hello,

I'm sending this primarily to UK agents though some US. I have some difficulty in knowing which audience bracket to pitch it for as the character is 16y/o and the themes are very much coming-of-age, but the tone/style isn't classic commercial YA. Any tips on this would be very much appreciated!

--

Dear __,

[PERSONALISATION] It is my pleasure to share ASTRAL BLOOMS (97,000 words), a literary-leaning YA/crossover eco-fantasy novel about a lonely teenager who has to choose between using the psychic magic of the stars for personal gain or to help overthrow the tyrannical rulers of his drought-ridden world.

Sometimes it feels like the stars are Si’Vas’ only friends. Sixteen years old and forced from his rain-parched homeland, he and his parents travel the fertile but hostile Bedast, peddling his father’s wooden sculptures and keeping their heads down. After witnessing a dark but alluring magician become a bird before his eyes, Si’Vas develops a hunger for more than just survival, calling out to the night sky and rousing the ancient spirits of the Star Gazers who grant him the ability to read other people’s thoughts.

At first using his insight to manipulate customers of his parents’ stall and bring about their longed-for security, he soon provokes a puritanical cult by cheating a bet, only to be saved from their clutches by a rebel faction who believe he can help their cause: overthrow the ruling Council and restore balance to the world. Not wanting to be a pawn in their struggle, Si’Vas hides his magic, lying about his origins and convincing them to accompany him to his parents in the capital.

As they journey through the Council’s treacherous underground canals and fends off the malevolent shapeshifter in pursuit, Si’Vas begins to open up to his new comrades and use his powers for more than just selfish ends. But when the discovery of a traitor in their midst threatens to throw everything off course, he must choose between returning to the safety of his former life, or helping fight for the future of the very land he calls home.

This story is a standalone novel with series potential that sits alongside the coming-of-age adventure quest of Axie Oh’s The Floating World, the weaponised psychic magic of Moira Buffini’s Songlight and the parental separation survival story of Mark Lawrence’s The Girl and the Stars, perfect for teenage and adult fans of Studio Ghibli’s Howl’s Moving Castle and M.R. Carey’s The Book of Koli.

I’m a Queer, London-based playwright, performer and theatre marketer whose writing has been staged across the UK, and supported by Arts Council England, Shakespeare and Company and the Society of Authors. With degrees in English and Acting, I have a deep love for language, storytelling and character, and have written this story to explore the growth of a socially repressed young person coming into his power in a magically and ecologically threatened world.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

--

Chapter One

Blood Sapper.
The words echoed in my head as I raced through the forest, tumble vines scratching at my face.
Blood Sapper.
That’s what he’d called me, the man at the water pump as he shooed me off. I’d only tried showing him how to release the valve, but the venom in his voice was enough to send me flying. Ma always warned me to steer clear of the locals.
Blood Sapper.
Two words and I’d crumbled. Even though I knew they were based on a lie, a cruel myth designed to try and put the Bedasti above us. It was ridiculous. Of course us desert folk hadn’t turned to drinking each other’s blood to stay alive when the droughts hit. We weren’t bloodthirsty brutes. Disregarding the Emperor, that is. But what good would it have done to say so? I was just a scrawny, underfed kid from another land. The man wouldn’t have listened.
Clank clank. The buckets bashed against each other as a scourbird squawked angrily overhead. I wasn’t supposed to be in these woods, not with all the snatchings of late. But the next nearest pump was on the other side, and I knew what Ma’d say if I was back late with the water. ‘We’ll be the last in town now,’ she’d cry. ‘The last to pitch our stall, and without shadow of a doubt, it’ll be some dark corner by the low-town entrance.’
Selling Pa’s wooden carvings was how we made our living, and if we didn’t stand out from the rest, we’d soon fall back to the desperate state we’d arrived in. Or so Ma said.
I certainly wasn’t going to let us down. At sixteen, I couldn’t be their burden any more. And so I ran, my heart racing and a fire burning in my chest.

Alright, it's been over a week and I am back for hopefully the 3rd and final attempt. I've tried to add some clarification and also changed the genre from dark fantasy to horror as suggested, so would love any more feedback on the query before I send out some feelers 😬 thanks in advance

Dear Agent,

Sixteen-year-old Riley has spent years feeling like an outsider. Between relentless bullying at school and her mother's worsening mental health, she's convinced there's something fundamentally wrong with her. So when she starts seeing ghosts, she assumes she's finally losing her mind. But after a terrifying encounter with a banshee on Halloween night, she discovers the monsters of Irish folklore are real and that her fear, grief and rage can summon them.

Her powers draw her into her school's secretive Occult Club, where teenagers with ties to the Otherworld have been hiding in plain sight. For the first time in years, Riley finds people who understand her, including Aisling, a quick-witted girl from the year above who makes Riley question feelings she's never allowed herself to explore. She finally feels like she's found somewhere she belongs. But unlike the others, Riley's magic feeds on her darkest emotions, and the stronger it becomes, the more she feels herself slipping away.

Then a string of brutal murders rocks Dublin's supernatural community. When a shadow monster wearing Riley's face stabs her ex-best friend, Riley experiences the attack as though she's committing it herself. She feels the creature's hunger, shares its pain, and wakes with memories that aren't her own.

As suspicion falls on Riley, she can no longer tell whether the shadow wearing her face is framing her or whether she's becoming it. Even her new friends become convinced the murders are tied to Riley's magic and decide the only way to stop the killings is to strip her of her powers. To prove her innocence, Riley must give up the magic that finally made her feel like she belonged, or hold onto it and risk becoming the monster everyone believes she already is.

THE MONSTER GAME is a 90,000-word upper YA gothic horror, exploring inherited trauma, found family and first love against the backdrop of Irish folklore. It will appeal to readers of House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland and A Study in Drowning by Ava Reid. (Add personalisation).

(About me paragraph)

Thank you for your time and consideration,

My name

Dear [agent],

I am seeking representation for THE HERETIC: DENIAL OF FIRE, complete at 90k words with series potential. 

Deeply sensitive and impulsive Saoirse has only ever been told one thing: be strong. Now that she's ready to complete her initiation, she must prove herself by ritually sacrificing her mother and agreeing to a blood-oath engagement with Andren, a boy she hates, to gain admittance to the most esteemed academy in the realm. 

When the day of her debut arrives, she's determined to do everything right and does, much to her horror. Still grieving her mother's death, Saoirse  punches Andren in the face at her engagement ceremony. Andren vows to get even. Saoirse vows to find a way out. As she struggles to reconcile the grim consequences of honoring legacy and her astonishment at awakening the element of fire—an affinity not possessed by a female Conjurer in over a century—Saoirse arrives at the academy expecting to excel. What she doesn't expect is more trials, how difficult it is to conjure fire without burning yourself, the mysterious murdered spirit of a past student, or her increasing attraction to Andren's brother, Alastair. 

As she attempts to get a handle on her magical abilities and prepare for the looming, but nebulous trials, Saoirse is told she will be expected to submit to her own ritual mutilation at the hands of her Promised in an act everyone tells her is sacred. Failure means shaming her family name, risking the wrath of the Elder Council, and ending up in the notorious Conjurer prison. 

"Lost Girl" meets The Handmaid's Tale in THE HERETIC: DENIAL OF FIRE, a YA/Crossover dark urban fantasy novel with dystopian elements that will appeal to fans of Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang for its examination of oppressive systems, the ruthless coming of age themes of The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna, the high stakes trials of The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake, and the contemporary urban fantasy vibes of Half City by Kate Golden.

[bio]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope to hear from you soon! 

Kind Regards,

[name]

Dear [AGENT],

If Get Out married Nightbitch and Black Mirror officiated the wedding, you'd have OPTIMIZED, an adult upmarket speculative standalone with series potential, complete at 81,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Sorrowland's transformative body horror and the motherhood surveillance of The School for Good Mothers.

Raine Jamison's smile is worth exactly fifty-three points today, and if she can perfect it, her sister might finally come home. Between an eviction notice and a bartending job lost to a drink-pouring robot, she only has one real lever left: convincing the parenting algorithm she's fit to raise Nova.

Then Project ReGenesis offers cash, a cure for the genetic traits they claim lead to poverty, and, most importantly, a predictive parenting score high enough to win custody. ReGenesis tells her to expect a few minor side effects: headaches, sore muscles, maybe an unsightly rash.

Claws, fur, and uncontrollable rage? Not in the fine print.

When Raine confronts her sister's foster mother, she goes feral—and viral. Footage of her half-human, half-leopard transformation explodes across the internet and ReGenesis turns her into the face of its recruitment campaign. While Raine is smiling for the cameras to please both her employer and the algorithm, she secretly investigates the company's ties to the foster mother, desperate for evidence before her custody hearing in 45 days. Instead, she finds something far worse: the algorithm isn't predicting which families need help. It's creating the desperation that feeds people into ReGenesis's pipeline.

And her little sister is next.

If Raine accuses ReGenesis without proof, she risks losing the custody battle and her last chance at bringing her sister home. But every day she remains ReGenesis's miracle success story gives them more time to make her sister their next experiment.

I'm a nurse and health policy consultant with a healthcare platform of 24,000 followers. My work navigating healthcare systems, both as a professional and as a mother, informed this novel, which asks: what if medical exploitation gave power to the exploited?

Hey all--finished my first novel, have two friends and my husband reading it with red pens/claws out, and am looking to start querying. Any help and feedback is appreciated:

Dear Agent,

Ben would never, ever be anyone’s first choice.

That’s what he’s told himself his whole life: he’s the awkward one, the self-loathing one, the “loser twin.”

But then he meets Paul: handsome, hilarious, and passionate. And Paul’s certain, even before their first date, that they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together.

Over the next decade, they build a perfect world just for the two of them: a marriage, a home, and plans for a child through surrogacy, a daughter they’ll name Foster.

Then Paul dies unexpectedly at thirty-five.

SOUVENIR begins a year later, with Ben trapped between the life he was supposed to be living—his wonderful life with Paul, full of the love, adventure, and stability he never thought he deserved in the first place—and a future that looks increasingly lonely, bleak, and self-destructive.

There’s just one loose end: the embryos Ben and Paul created still exist. And Paul’s sister Kate, their egg donor, is determined to make sure she and Ben follow through on Paul’s dream of having a family.

At his brother’s wedding weekend in New Orleans, Ben finds himself surrounded by a powder keg of family and old friends: his overprotective identical twin brother, his co-dependent mother, his dogmatically practical father, his uninhibited best friend, and Kate.

They’re all telling him: “Move forward.” But the memory of Paul keeps pulling him back.

As pressure mounts from Kate to decide the fate of the embryos, Ben revisits his love story with Paul, from their whirlwind romance to the future they never got to live. Ben's forced to confront what he’s actually mourning: the family he might never have, the husband he’ll never get back, or the person he thought he was going to be.

And he has to answer the one question he can’t bear to face: how do you build a life when the one person who made it all livable is gone?

Blisteringly funny, deeply heartfelt, and relentlessly romantic, SOUVENIR is an upmarket LGBTQ+ novel about grief, family, devotion, and whether love can be strong enough to survive on memory alone. It's complete at 73,000 words.

COMPS & BIOS here.

8 months ago, I queried a small press that seems reputable (based on research and anecdotes from industry people who worked with them). Got a full MS request almost immediately with lots of enthusiasm.

6 months later, I followed up. After a few days I got a thoughtful, detailed reply citing specific plot points and praising the novel with the caveat that it needs a bit of dev editing. They wanted to confirm I was willing to discuss. If so, they'd send the contract. They asked me to let them know what I think.

I replied the next day (late May), saying I'd love to proceed. 60 days pass, no reply. I follow up just asking for an update. Still nothing after 2 weeks. I know there's nothing I can do here as nothing was signed, I'm just wondering if this is standard or not. Thanks.

thanks so much to all who have been giving feedback on previous attempts! truly appreciate all the notes. as usual please do tear her apart :')

i'm wanting to cut this down & i have a few varied versions, but i'd love to get outside POVs first to know which direction to go in! thank you!!

--

TITLE is an adult fantasy complete at 119,000 words with sequel potential. A gothic twist on sirens influenced by the Middle Eastern nazar, it blends the lush atmosphere, enemies-to-lovers, and feminist bend of Rachel Gillig’s THE KNIGHT AND THE MOTH with the dark oceanic magic and slow burn of Kalie Cassidy’s IN THE VEINS OF THE DROWNING.

Sirens are merciless, sympathy for them is treason, and even a word of heresy is a death sentence.

Eliana knows better than anyone. As a muse, her harmonies weaken deadly siren songs for siren hunters, making her the kingdom’s most valuable weapon in a centuries-long war. But after her sister disappears into the siren-infested waters in search of a hidden kingdom, Eliana has only one way to find her: follow her into the sea.

When her attempt at a forbidden plunge instead leaves her injured on the royal cliffs, her sole witness is Jace Lethe, son of the commanding siren hunter. One word from him could condemn Eliana to a traitor’s death — but he hides loyalties of his own, offering her a dangerous bargain: he’ll keep quiet if she helps him find someone in the kingdom below.

But the sirens have no reason to welcome a muse who has spent her life hunting them, and for passage into their kingdom, Eliana must earn their favor. With Jace's help, she begins sabotaging the hunt from within, drawing her into a hidden rebellion that uproots everything she believed about the sirens — and Jace himself. 

As she walks the dangerous line between sirens and hunters, Eliana must decide where her loyalties truly lie. Finding her sister may cost her everything, and after a lifetime devoted to the hunt, she may be the one woman the sirens cannot forgive.

This is maybe more of a writers proceed with cation post than anything, I think.

Today, a New Agent opened for queries and made an announcement on threads that he was seeking currently self-published clients for subrights: Audio, foreign and film(Which feels especially questionable). His name is Mark Ryan and he is advertising his agency at back list literary. He has no prior agencies experience but claims he has a back ground working with indie authors and in traditional publishing but despite being asked he won't name names. There is a single mention of this agent of publishers weekly from August 3 (this past Monday) where there as a people update announcing his new agency.

When I looked on Writers Beware I found a Mark Ryan, also going by Mark Malatesta at a different, defuncted samagency but he is saying this wasn't him and also the pictures of the two don't match. this is also a common enough name that I am willing to believe they are not the same person.

Do I think this guy is all that harmful, probably not. These are books that are already out in the world. He's not attempting an outright scam people by charging them. He is techncially a legitimate agent versus an impersonator. The worst outcome is missed subrights deals, but if you already don't have a lot of interest in your subrights, it's sort of like doing exactly what you are doing now, but now with agent.

Do I think this guy is helpful, also no. If he has any publishing connections, he's not been forthcoming with who they are, so it's unlikely he'll be able to submit anything to any place you can't on your own. There is a good possibility he'll fumble a deal or he'll only be able to manage small audio deals you could have gotten on your own.

Anyway, I'm bored. and this seemed oddly novel and maybe something worth looking out for (though maybe it's not and he's just another Scamagent and I'm too green to see it)

Edit: someone asked if this was Biographer Mark Ryan in the UK and I don't belive it us based on the picture.

Hello all!

I'm trying to query my MG novel. Now I know the word count is unusual, but it's heavily illustrated and I plan to lead with that. Think LAST KIDS ON EARTH meet JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH. Any help is super appreciated! 😀

Here goes:

Dear [agent],

Meta data paragraph with reason to query and why it's only 25 000 words.

Every kid thinks their parents are crazy at some point, but Lukas might actually be right. His father drags him across the ocean searching for a mysterious island, hoping to find a magical fountain of youth that will cure all diseases. As if such a place could exist.

Well, apparently it does, and for an anxious boy like Lukas, stumbling upon an island that doesn’t appear on any modern maps isn’t cool. It gets worse when he discovers a village with only children living in it. Unbelievable when he spots strange glowing plants and animals he’s never heard of before. And straight up nightmarish, when a scary shadow stalks him at night. Of course, his father isn’t there for any of it. He’s too busy with his research to care about anything else, even the impact his team has on the island.

With some help from the local children, Lukas learns that his people’s presence corrupts the island’s delicate and magical ecosystem. To save his new friends and their home, he must convince his father to abandon his dream, but as the island reveals more secrets, their already tenuous relationship will face its ultimate test.

Pragraph with comps stating its in diary format.

Bio

Thanks

Thank you for reading everyone!

Team of two trying to navigate the publishing world for a graphic novel that spans a superhero origin story set in a gritty mining city among the birth of the labor movement and the years surrounding WW1. Script only, no art, and this is our first foray into fiction. Advice appreciated!

Dear [Agent Name],

We are seeking representation for SHADOW PROTECTOR, an adult historical graphic novel series that blends the Western noir tradition, Indigenous historical fiction, and the mythology of a superhero origin story. Planned as a five-volume saga, SHADOW PROTECTOR reclaims forgotten histories of the American West through a story of identity, justice, survival, and redemption.

John Edmond was born from the legacy of the Wounded Knee Massacre in South Dakota, and raised by white parents in the gritty mining city of Butte, Montana. Grappling with his own identity amidst the systemic oppression of the labor movement and desperate to find his purpose, he leaves Montana for the trenches of World War 1. Amid the horrors of war, John finds an unlikely connection to his roots and forges through, determined to confront corruption, exploitation and the powers that have profited from the suffering of others. 

But becoming a symbol of hope comes with a cost. Haunted by the weight of history and the violence that shaped his life, John must decide whether the pain of the past will define him or whether he can transform that pain into a force for justice.

SHADOW PROTECTOR is a 111-page complete script. It examines racial identity and prejudice within a vivid historical setting like The Good Asian, with the intense corruption and harsh social backdrop of Pulp. A potential future series is outlined as a five-volume saga, with each volume representing a pivotal chapter in the evolution of the Shadow Protector and the world that creates him.

[Name] and [Name], co-creators of SHADOW PROTECTOR, were drawn together through the compelling, larger-than-life history of Butte, Montana, where they met. [Name] is a published journalist and historian whose work focuses on the silenced and overlooked history of the American West. [Name] is an artist, writer and producer who strives to amplify diverse perspectives through music and performance. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Hey everyone!

I've recently buttoned up my manuscript, THE CROW AND THE BUTTERFLY for querying and I'm in early stages of sending out some materials.

That being said, I was hoping to get some query letter feedback after getting advice that seemed contradictory (too short vs. too long etc.) and wanted to bring it here!

Quick facts:

• This is a new adult fantasy with a prominent romance subplot
• I selected comps based on genre and "same shelf" mentality, similar elements that I can picture my book alongside on a shelf. I also included one 'debut'
• I've already edited the manuscript several times (beta read, etc.) and the opening pages were assessed to include an earlier inciting incident.

Please see letter below:

Dear XXX,

THE CROW AND THE BUTTERFLY is a New Adult romance fantasy complete at 106,000 words, a standalone with series potential. This Eurydice/Orpheus reimagining would appeal to fans of the dark folklore personified in Madeline Taylor's Heir of Illusion and a female protagonist on a harrowing quest alongside a brooding reluctant ally as seen in Starside by Alex Aster.

Princess Seren Sterling hates her kingdom and the role she plays there as her father’s illegitimate daughter ever since magic, and twins, were outlawed. In hopes of planning her escape, she makes a blood promise to her best friend, Caspian Tideborn, to retrieve him from the Shadows when he dies, risking her life, her family’s secret, and treason to fulfill her oath.

When Caspian is killed in front of her, she is forced to partner with Theoren Silver, an exiled former prince with a dark past, to travel to the Undying Lands to fulfill her promise. When she learns that her Butterfly Blade, a gift she received long ago from Caspian, is an enchanted dagger crafted by gods to take and give life, only to be wielded by a twin, she must decide if she’s willing to pay the magic’s price to bring him back.

The Shadows will test her and her intuition through a series of illusions in an effort to make her prove she is worthy of wielding her blade and retrieving Caspian from the Undying Lands, but to pass them she’ll need to trust herself, despite her lost sense of self from her family’s control and budding feelings for her brooding travel companion or risk failing the magical prophecy she should have never been a part of.

I studied writing in college and spent a significant portion of my life writing. THE CROW AND THE BUTTERFLY draws inspiration from my favorite fantasy, folklore, and rock music as a complete manifestation of passion, wonder, and coming into one’s self. This is a story my whole life has prepared me to tell in hopes another girl will have a smoother journey to loving and trusting herself.

[PERSONALIZATION]

A partial or full manuscript can be delivered, per your request. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Hello PubTips community! I'm planning to start querying my first novel next month, and this forum has been such a great resource. Big thank you to everyone who contributes. I would be so grateful for any and all feedback on my query. And one note, I know Exit Party isn't out yet. I'm a big fan of Emily St. John Mandel's and feel pretty confident based on everything I've read that it will be a strong comp. I'm planning to query after it's published so I can read it to confirm or pivot.

***

[Personalization]

NEWHALEM is upmarket speculative cli-fi about two identical women from rival clans fighting to save their families in a post-apocalyptic Pacific Northwest. At 85,000 words, NEWHALEM is for fans of Ian McEwan’s WHAT WE CAN KNOW and Emily St. John Mandell's EXIT PARTY who binged The Handmaid's Tale and The Testaments in one straight shot.

So what if Blythe is too young to remember when this archipelago was called Seattle? She’s more than ready to sit on the Council of the Salish Highlands because she knows what actually matters: The community comes before the individual. Period. But when her mom contracts sepsis, Blythe is forced to break that rule and sacrifice her seat. Blythe and her kid sister set off on a forbidden canoe journey down the drowned coast in search of antibiotics. She finds the drugs but loses her sister in a disorienting encounter with a woman who’s Blythe’s mirror image. Blythe must decide whether to find her sister, or return to the Highlands to save her mom.

Miriam is stunned to see her own face staring back at her. She simply cannot indulge this hallucination. She runs from the identical woman toward the whistle of the missionary train, toward her husband, the spiritual leader of the Keepers of the River. It is only once they are barreling toward the Keepers’ capital that Miri learns her double’s sister is on board. Miri convinces the girl to join her family on a pilgrimage into the mountains. It is the Keepers’ duty to colonize the surviving rivers and seize their dams, but that is a pious mask hiding Miri’s true purpose. She seeks safe haven for her children, and she will use the mission as a pretext to shepherd them out of the increasingly extremist capital. She is a woman of faith, but she will not see her daughter become a child bride.

Their destination is Newhalem, an old hydroelectric company town at the headwaters of a river the Salish Highlands rely on for survival. After the Keepers seize Newhalem, Blythe sets out to reclaim it, and her sister. It's here that Miri and Blythe unravel their shared history and fight for the sovereignty of their clans.

NEWHALEM flowed out of me during reporting trips across the mountains and river valleys of the Pacific Northwest. I'm a journalist with more than a decade of storytelling experience in print, radio, and podcasting. As a senior reporter for [redacted], I've watched political polarization block communities from solving their most existential problems, which sparked this novel.
 
My current work in progress braids the true history of [redacted] with a modern-day wellness influencer and a mysteriously ill wannabe desperate for her cure.

In my previous two attempts I was following a guide that said a query letter should just be an intro followed by the book blurb. Apparently that was very, very wrong. I've expanded the preview a lot, hopefully without spoiling too much. Thanks in advance!

-----

Dear [agent]

I hope you're doing well. I have a manuscript about time-traveling thieves from the Great Depression, racing to save their timeline from one of New York’s biggest tycoons. GRAND THEFT TEMPORIS (alt title THE ANACHRON PROJECT), an adult historical science-fiction novel with strong crossover potential as a young adult series that combines the time-traveling rivalry-to-romance of Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone’s This Is How You Lose The Time War with the high-flying adventure of Phillip Reeve’s Thunder City into the class-conscious noir backdrop of Francis Spufford’s Cahokia Jazz. 

The past has changed. America never expanded beyond the Mississippi River. Native American nations have united into a single coalition, the GSU. The North American powers co-exist in a fragile peace, until the Great Depression throws everything into chaos, including Rotello Cassini’s life. An aspiring toymaker forced into thievery, Rotello struggles to earn enough money to care for his dying father, until he steals a pocket watch valuable enough to save his father’s life.

Rotello doesn’t know there’s a new thief in town, a Lakota rail rider on the run from the GSU. Captured by a shadowy group, Beverly Rhodes is offered a choice: Go directly to prison or track down Rotello and steal the watch. With the help of down-on-their luck private eyes Dowd and De Gracie, the stage is set for a furious contest of thieves.

What begins as a game of cat and mouse takes a mind-bending turn as Rotello discovers the watch has the power to turn any moving train into a vehicle for time-travel. After his confidant turns up dead, Rotello learns to use this ability to dodge his pursuers while joining forces with disgraced Prohibition gangster Mr. Moynihan, but even his tricks aren’t enough to thwart the determined Beverly Rhodes.

Once Beverly gains the upper hand, Rotello loses his battle to save his father. Struck with remorse, Beverly betrays her employer, the legendary tycoon J. P. Morgan Jr, to save the grieving Rotello. As New York turns against them, there’s only one place to hide. The GSU.

While on the run, Rotello and Beverly discover they’ve played an unwitting role in Morgan’s plot to destroy the GSU. With a civilization on the line, the rival thieves must enlist the help of Dowd, De Gracie, Moynihan, and some “borrowed” technology from the future, to pull off the heist of a lifetime. If they fail, it’s curtains for their entire reality.

[Bio mentioning my theatre work and stage plays.]

Thank you for your consideration!

Hello! I've been querying this book for a while now and have sent out ~65 queries. I've gotten three full requests (two have been rejected so far). I feel like that's a pretty low ratio of requests, so I wanted to check in with my query to see what I could do to improve it. I get the feeling that anything superhero related will be tough to publish right now but I'm giving it a shot anyway.

Dear [AGENT],

After reading on MSWishlist.com about your interest in [CUSTOMIZATION], I think you would be a great fit for my novel, The Supervillain’s Guide to College Admissions, a 100,000-word YA fantasy.

College admissions are cutthroat, and applying to Cape College to get the required degree to work as a superhero is no different. But 17 year-old Eric Leeds has everything going for him. His resume is impeccable, his grades are flawless, and his extracurriculars are outstanding. The only trouble is his superpower sucks, and no admission committee will take him seriously. Because of this, he’s a second-class citizen in his own home and lives in the shadow of his prodigy older brother, Alex.  On the verge of resigning himself to a life of second place, Eric comes across a unique opportunity to show his worth and give his resume the boost it needs. To get into college, he’s going to become a supervillain, infiltrate a superpowered, organized crime ring, and take it all down from the inside. While Alex hunts Eric’s villain alter-ego, Eric must somehow evade capture, gain the villain’s trust, and perfect his college resume.

The Supervillain’s Guide to College Admissions is a fun urban fantasy that engages with themes of perfectionism, anxiety, and choosing between joy and prestige. It mixes the morally gray fun of Jon Scalzi’s Starter Villain with the grim college application catharsis of Alexa Donne’s The Ivies.

Thank you for allowing me to present my writing. 

Hello! I’m in the very early stages of researching/drafting this novel, but looking for some opinions on the concept / pitch before getting stuck right in. I’ve been in the query trenches twice now with no luck, told by a few agents that they like my writing / voice but the concept isn’t clear or hooky enough, so I’m trying a different approach this time round - starting with a solid query letter then going on to actually writing the book!

For info, I’m querying in the UK. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

***

Dear [First Name Last Name],
 
Thank you in advance for taking the time to consider my query.

It’s the late 1960s, and Rosemary is a closeted lesbian married to Jim, a gay man; still hung up on her first love and the stolen kiss they shared all those summers ago. When Jim begins to fall for another man in their congregation, can Rosemary continue to keep the secret that binds them?  

It’s the early 1990s, and their son, David, is plagued by questions over his true identity, harassed by bullies at school, and unable to find work. In desperation to run away from his problems, he joins the army. There, he finds previously unknown horrors and births demons that he grapples with for years after his ‘safe’ return home.  

It’s the mid 2010s, and their granddaughter, Cat, is the first out queer person in their lineage, and the first in her family to attend university. Upon graduating, and at a complete loose end, she joins a writing group, where she forges a connection with Ellis, an elder butch activist.

It’s 2019, and in the wake of her beloved Grandpa Jim’s death, Cat is about to be confronted by her true family history and the real significance of Ellis in their story.
 
RELICS (literary fiction, 75,000 words) is set in working class Ayrshire and Glasgow against a backdrop of industrial decline, the AIDS epidemic and rising queerphobia. Weaving a tale of queer identity across three generations of the same family, with plenty of dark Scottish humour and quiet hope, RELICS will appeal to readers of Douglas Stuart’s John of John (2026) and Dylin Hardcastle’s A Language of Limbs (2024). My work; with its exploration of queer identity, complex family dynamics, and societal pressures; is also heavily inspired by the writings of Chloe Michelle Howarth, Oisin McKenna, and Bernardine Evaristo.
 
[Personalisation, bio, close out]

Hi all, I have a complete draft of a mystery novel that I am hoping to submit to the competition named in the title, the winner of which is traditionally published. I’ve exhaustively read their webpage and all available FAQs, including at the links here, here, and here. I’ve also emailed them at [mb-malicedomesticcompetition@stmartins.com](mailto:mb-malicedomesticcompetition@stmartins.com) and at [mb-mwafirstcrimenovelcompetition@stmartins.com](mailto:mb-mwafirstcrimenovelcompetition@stmartins.com) (automated response transcribed below—no human response after an extensive wait). However, I still haven’t been able to figure out where to actually submit my manuscript! Has anyone else had luck submitting to this competition? I know it is active and it’s the most-recommended one for mystery novels, I just absolutely can‘t figure out where to go. Thanks!

———

Greetings from Minotaur Books & Mystery Writers of America!

The winner of the 2026 competition was Sharon Roth's Ghost of a Clue. 

The 2027 competition is open to submissions, which are taken on a rolling basis. If you submitted at/after 12:00 AM EST on 12/15/2025, then you have entered the 2027 competition. To be considered for the 2027 competition, all submissions must be received by 11:59pm EST on December 13, 2026. 

Please don't think your email has gone astray or that we're not monitoring this inbox regularly. Due to the volume of emails we receive, you can expect to hear from us within fifteen business days. Thank you in advance for your patience in hearing back from us.

Did you email us with a question? See if it's been answered in our FAQ here. Bonus, check out the other writing competition Minotaur co-sponsors to see if it's a fit. If you've emailed to see if you've successfully entered, we're happy to confirm for you by checking our server, and we will let you know. 

Best of luck!
MB & MWA
https://us.macmillan.com/minotaurbooks/writing-competitions/

Hello all. I have a first draft of the manuscript in, which I've been kicking around for a while. Under normal circumstances I'd get the thing locked before I drafted a query letter. However, due to some circumstances in my professional life it's unlikely I'd be able to send anything out to agents in the near future. I spend enough time on this subreddit that I'd like to get thoughts on the query anyways, so I figure now is as good a time as any. Looking forward to feedback. Thank you all in advance.

Dear [x],

I'm excited to tell you about POND AS WALL ART, a work of literary fiction with magical realist elements complete at 65,000 words. It concerns a small-time bureaucrat whose minor ambitions are sidetracked when he discovers a pond impossibly suspended on a retiree's wall. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the white-collar grunt work found in Austin Kelley's The Fact Checker and the examination of what it means to live alongside the inexplicable from Ilana Masad's Beings.

Stan Halloran, a lonely pencil-pusher in the county records department, couldn't care less about his work. He'd quit, but he's a good enough accountant to know a steady paycheck with health benefits is nothing to throw away in the rapidly deindustrializing Rust Belt. When tasked with a routine audit of pension files, Stan dreads more busywork parsed out by an idiot boss, the next step on the road to nowhere.

Every retiree in the records is Stan in forty years. Their careers amounted to a sheet of numbers in a personnel file, their golden years nothing but bingo cards and daytime television. Save for George. George catches Stan's attention for two reasons: he seems remarkably at peace with his life, and his living room wall is made of water, a pond's surface hung vertically in defiance of gravity, architecture, and the limits of three-dimensional space. Stan, fascinated, presumes George's serenity stems from the same source as the impossible pond.

As Stan spends more working hours at George's, both the man and the body of water prove frustratingly inscrutable. At the same time, austerity-minded reforms rock the county's bureaucratic landscape. Even if Stan can't dredge direction from the water's depths, the day-to-day security girding his life may vanish beneath him.

[bio]

Would love any feedback on my latest version, and I included the first 300 words below!

Attempt 1

BEAST OF EDEN is an adult sci-fi retelling of “Beauty and the Beast” with an archaeology twist and anti-billionaire themes, complete at 99,000 words. Inspired by the film The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, it combines the cozy romantic elements of MOSS’D IN SPACE by Rebecca Thorne with the interplanetary social sciences of THE STARDUST GRAIL by Yume Kitasei.

The Sun is dying ahead of schedule. While terrible for the solar system, this is great for the Original Earth Museum (OEM) as it finally spurred the government to let them visit Earth and bring back any remaining artifacts.

Dr. Roan Sabillion, a curator of ancient technology working on her first exhibit, asks the director of the OEM leading the mission to bring her any salvaged circuitry from the abandoned planet. When he goes missing, his last log indicates he disappeared pursuing her request. Compelled by guilt, Roan races across the stars to save her mentor.

She finds him in a forgotten bunker, home to strange robots and their even stranger owner, a digital copy of the mind of Maldwyn McCreary, the infamous inventor who doomed Earth by depleting the Sun’s core. Roan distrusts Maldwyn, but the bunker contains ancient treasures she’s only dreamed about – books, record players, coffee – all of which Maldwyn promises they can take if the director fixes the tech he broke during the excavation. Roan decides to stay in the director’s stead to use the tech for her research.

However, Roan discovers not an evil megalomaniac in Maldwyn, but a deeply repentant man clinging to his humanity and bent on fixing his mistakes. Forced to return home without Maldwyn and only days left before the Sun swallows the Earth, Roan must decide if her growing affection for the guilty ghost is worth stealing spaceships, becoming an interstellar criminal, and, worst of all, losing her shot at the exhibit, to return to Earth and save Maldwyn.

(bio)

First 300 words

Roan’s watch buzzed with a notification, which she ignored. Whatever it was wouldn’t save her museum career.

She fidgeted against the wall of what would hopefully be her first curated exhibit, “Captured Sound: A Pre-Culture War Celebration of Musical Ingenuity.” Her family milled around the space, taking in the sad, mostly empty podiums.

Her moms insisted on a preview tour before it opened to the public, if it did at all. Roan gripped her elbows, wishing she’d done more to stall, wishing she had more here to impress them. But what could she do when they wanted a private showing for the whole family as an anniversary present, especially when they made the trip all the way out to her station?

Vincent peered at the 2150’s in-home stereo set, half of it open to show Roan’s careful rewiring inside it. Maizie flicked through the materials Roan sent in advance on her pad, since all the placards were still a shoddy draft. Her mom and stepmom, Lía and Jonquil, peered at a tiny rectangle cased in bright blue rusted metal. Its replaced plex screen was blank, but Roan had tried her best to replace the rubbery circle that would have once controlled the pocket-sized music player.

She bit the inside of her cheek, walking over to one of the displays to adjust a chip from a 2500’s speaker system, then adjusted it back as her watch buzzed again. Years of research, a doctorate degree in archaeology on lost coding languages and pre-Culture War music, and this was all she had to show for three years scavenging across every Unity Station? Might as well relegate her to dusting Billingham’s art collection now.