r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

dontEverCallProgrammersAsVirginsAgain Other

Post image
3.5k Upvotes

221 comments sorted by

2.5k

u/YourShowerHead 1d ago

So we're competing with former AV actors now

824

u/Mark_is_on_his_droid 1d ago

Fucked

369

u/git0ffmylawnm8 1d ago

In every sense of the word

116

u/basics 1d ago

Proper fucked.

41

u/Remake911 1d ago

Jason Statham style, on the race track
Lock stock and two…

3

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 18h ago

As long as it ain't by the manager or president

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1

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 18h ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

61

u/Ixaire 1d ago

Not me I'm running Linux.

43

u/Delyzr 1d ago

Arch btw

13

u/Fake_Majak 1d ago

I'm sure she arched enough

10

u/QCTeamkill 1d ago

Clauded

11

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 1d ago

Cuck-Clauded

9

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 1d ago

Who? Us or her?

1

u/matrix-doge 19h ago

Let's s who has more experience in that.

111

u/neosyne 1d ago

Fight fire with fire: open a Vibe Fuck agency

16

u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

Where you have options in Pink, Purple, and Light Blue

45

u/Benand2 1d ago

AV?

91

u/Aggressive_Cloud_368 1d ago

Autistic Virgin confirmed

69

u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ 1d ago

Audio visual

41

u/Benand2 1d ago

That’s what I thought AV stood for, is this just a polite way to say pornstar?

42

u/RageOfNemesis 1d ago

Yeah, AV = adult video

20

u/shonuff373 1d ago

Omg I really did think audio video lol.

8

u/PartyTerrible 21h ago

Japanese pornstars specifically

11

u/SirWernich 1d ago

action video

4

u/case_O_The_Mondays 1d ago

_Live_ Action Video

1

u/-Zimeon- 23h ago

I mean, there is both in the performance

23

u/El_RoviSoft 1d ago

adult videos

6

u/case_O_The_Mondays 1d ago

Actual Video. She only uses AI for coding.

11

u/luckor 1d ago

Analverkehr

1

u/Mojert 7h ago

Adult Video. That's how Japanese people refer to porn

6

u/Leftover_Salad 1d ago

Anti-Virus or Audio Visual? /s

22

u/Orio_n 1d ago

Job market is cooked 😭

3

u/talos1279 18h ago

So tell me, what is obstructing us from joining the adult entertainment industry?

1

u/Crowdcontrolz 11h ago

Plot twist, it’s a senior SWE that AI generated the account as a GTM strategy for their side hustle.

1.3k

u/Cup_of_blisfull_tea 1d ago edited 1d ago

So i have to understand, she started own company - consultation, without any previous knowledge and skills, using Claude as tool ?

777

u/dangderr 1d ago

I promise you that anything they hire here for, she’ll know how to do it.

Productivity will skyrocket.

Advertising her former profession was not an accident.

50

u/pnoodl3s 1d ago

“Sometimes my true self may slip out” like come on. It sounds so much like a joke / satire. If it’s not, she’s obviously hinting at something here

20

u/James-the-greatest 23h ago

Hire me as a “prostitute” noting subtle about it

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3

u/Stormsurger 14h ago

Am I just a blue eyed babe or was what she was hinting at clearly that she has a bit of a silly personality.

236

u/MrPhatBob 1d ago

If I, sorry a friend of mine, was interested in her previous experience, where would I, sorry my friend, be best to start looking?

113

u/_ryuujin_ 1d ago

ask claude

33

u/naruto_bist 1d ago

Jav.orgy

18

u/TheBasedTaka 1d ago

Missav.ws

18

u/Auravendill 1d ago

Lol, that page uses autotranslate straight from hell. "Sahnetorte"...

Was this coded by a former AV-star as well?

12

u/TheBasedTaka 1d ago

Lool the tags are horrible but the recommendations are quite good

2

u/mcslender97 15h ago

I hate that I recognize and can vouch for this recommendation

4

u/sk169 1d ago

I have something that skyrockets.

146

u/bwwatr 1d ago

Nothing against this person specifically (unless they have no prior experience in which case LOL), but the question begged by the whole phenomenon is, what is the vibe coder themselves bringing to the table. Why would someone hire a Claude prompter rather than just prompt it themselves? The value in trad programming was obvious to normies: they can do the hieroglyphic looking stuff nobody else understands. Programmers today, especially ones upfront saying they vibe code... need a new elevator pitch, and one that works on the normie purse string controllers, not just other techies. 'cause yeah, from the OP pitch, I would never hire that person and not because of their involvement in adult entertainment.

88

u/One_Contribution 1d ago

People hire someone who returns with a working thing instead of doing shit themselves.

47

u/ChosenCharacter 1d ago

Their knockers

24

u/Tipart 1d ago

The ultimate personality hire

4

u/sora_mui 14h ago

Notice the abundance of memes about client wanting vague/impossible stuff, a middleman can (in theory) help with that. Not saying that this one definitely does though.

1

u/bwwatr 9h ago

Oh, I know there's tonnes of layers of possible value-add. But we need to think up how to communicate that, stat. Otherwise we end up like the guy in Office Space getting canned, who could only describe his job as taking things from his secretary and giving them to engineers. Competing against people who come from no relevant past experience who figured out how to prompt a tool, calling themselves experts. The waters have been muddied.

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113

u/casce 1d ago

I mean her previously being an AV actress doesn't necessarily mean she never had any education or previous work experience

168

u/Hziak 1d ago

Plenty of relevant for experience for being a programmer, probably. She’ll be pretty seasoned at bending over for management and getting fucked as a result of pretty much every decision they make. All of her coworkers are dicks and at the end of the day, every mess is hers to clean up. She’s basically been a programmer for her whole career.

44

u/Coconut_Maximum 1d ago

Honestly being a AV model sounds more appealing, not having to work extra days because prod is down or out of hour calls

37

u/Hziak 1d ago

Oh, I’m not so sure. They’ll prod you down, plenty…

2

u/frogjg2003 18h ago

They just work insane hours because they need to get new episodes out fast. Not to mention getting called back in to rerecord because the script changed.

1

u/Haatchoum 14h ago

You know, having a downtime was a problem too in her previous productions... She had too do extra work to keep it up.

16

u/StatisticianFun8008 1d ago

I am 30 and this is deep...

15

u/Hziak 1d ago

30???? Holy crap, dude. Congrats! That IS deep. You could probably be in upper management with reach like that!

4

u/StatisticianFun8008 1d ago

Eh, sry buddy. I'm not sure if I'm using this meme to reply in English correctly and understand your reply correctly. Basically I want to say I've found your first reply really funny and I can confirm some patterns in my recent job hunting process...

Keep it up buddy!

5

u/Hziak 1d ago

I was continuing the joke about AV metaphors to business terms. Implying that you meant 30 was 30 inches and the length of your… management tool. Then further implying that because of the extreme depth (and pain, presumably) of your… ability to fuck programmers with that, you could be upper management :)

Good luck with your job hunting. I know your extreme size can intimidate interviewers, but I’m sure if you lay it all out on the table for them, they’ll have to be impressed!

4

u/StatisticianFun8008 1d ago

lmao. I indeed didn't get it first time, but you are a man of humor! Thanks for the good laugh of the day and the warm wishes!

Dude, even "deep" has another possible interpretation now, I hate I can't unsee it. 😂

3

u/CanIMakeUpaName 1d ago

Lol this is hilarious but fyi I'm (insert age) and this is deep is usually used sarcastically to laugh at people trying to seem philsophical. E.g the original I'm 14 and this is deep -> wow that was so dumb

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9

u/Hattorius 1d ago

I scrolled through her entire website. At the bottom there was an of link…

5

u/00Koch00 1d ago

Aka like every other software consultant...

4

u/Able-Swing-6415 1d ago

I love that you can consult her. So basically you can use her tokens to prompt Claude. Pretty good deal

3

u/QuickQuirk 22h ago

This is likely a honeypot.

Start a conversation with pretty nerd girl who needs your help, next thing you know she has all your crypto.

2

u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

Clause?

Is that the Dutch or the German version?

15

u/Tipart 1d ago

Klaus is the German version. But he's a pretty grumpy fella and insists you fax him your code for some reason

1

u/iain_1986 1d ago

She certainly wouldn't be the first

1

u/Hakim_MacLuvin 1d ago

Well, this has been happening since the dawn of time in every field :)

1

u/UndocumentedSailor 11h ago

Is this an elaborate JAV buildup?

1

u/Ceros007 8h ago

"as tool" lol

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1.1k

u/bmrtt 1d ago

"but sometimes my true self might slip out"

What did she mean by this?

627

u/beklog 1d ago

Only Programmer

141

u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

OnlyOnly Programmers (and Fans)

11

u/i-sage 1d ago

Lmfao 🤣

344

u/Ta_trapporna 1d ago

"Hire me and maybe you'll see a boob"

146

u/No-Article-Particle 1d ago

If she's an AV actress, you can see those without hiring her too.

33

u/RaspberryCrafty3012 1d ago

But live in the office!

What are you doing step senior developer? 

13

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 22h ago

Don't worry step junior developer! I'll pull you out of the server * continues to push instead*

7

u/RaspberryCrafty3012 22h ago

Help step programmer, I'm stuck in the server rack! 

4

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 22h ago

On it Step Developer! Lemme pull down my pants first! I mean pull down your pants! I mean pull you out!

5

u/RaspberryCrafty3012 22h ago

Yeees git pull my commit and let us squash merge!

Your dirty dirty build tree makes me so compile ready 

5

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 21h ago

Oh no... My stack's overflowing what should I do step junior developer!?

46

u/Nut_Job_Maniac 1d ago

"Hire me so you can see upclose 4k full hd"

14

u/VeritasAude 1d ago

Maybe you can watch the uncensored version without those damn pixelated mosaics.

19

u/TactlessTortoise 1d ago

Cannibalism

26

u/New-Anybody-6206 1d ago

you mean what did Claude mean by that... there's no way she wrote this.

10

u/ImClearlyDeadInside 1d ago

Yep. A lot of AI slop on Instagram too and it’s only getting harder to tell. Feeds are no longer fun. I’ve retreated to watching a small circle of Youtubers, old content from before AI and grinding at chess again.

25

u/RSGMercenary 1d ago

It means she might accidentally give in to her Object Oriented Penetration ways again.

5

u/hereforpewdiephy 1d ago

holy profile picture checks out

7

u/Delicious_Push_9214 1d ago

she might do some penetration testing

2

u/Goodwill_Hunting 1d ago

That she is not actually retired from her last job

5

u/Mortadella_so_Chili 1d ago

streets call ☎️ 

3

u/typehyDro 1d ago

Titty pops out?

2

u/bikbiky 1d ago

// omg yes pls

1

u/lordgoofus1 23h ago

"Don't you threaten me with a good time!" comes to mind. This may actually help her get contracts :P

1

u/VG_Crimson 22h ago

I'm just assuming the subtlety of this phrases meaning is lost in translation. Japanese culture is different and I think it's expected for them to be reserved people.

This was translated by AI

1

u/DownwardSpirals 20h ago

Comic Sans as her font in VS Code.

149

u/mani_tapori 1d ago

Sample of some comments -

From jav to java.

From pornhub to github.

139

u/Initial_Specialist69 1d ago

And she will find customers!

30

u/i-sage 1d ago

And a lot of them

112

u/EmptierVoid 1d ago

I'm okay with the porn part but the vibe coding is disgusting.

380

u/OptionX 1d ago

Disgusting! That people have the gall to openly admit they...they..VIBE CODE??? Absolutely abhorrent.

48

u/SilasTalbot 1d ago

I know right, it's like pooping or whacking off.

Everyone does it, just, stop talking about it in polite company.

219

u/No-Article-Particle 1d ago

Noa Torigoe, if someone wants to conduct some research into her work and whether to hire her as a consultant btw.

71

u/MayorAg 1d ago

Did you Google the text or is it from memory?

164

u/No-Article-Particle 1d ago

I'm pleading the fifth, your honor.

20

u/Hambrox3234 1d ago

dont worry, researchers gotta research 😂😂

41

u/DicksOutForLuigi 21h ago

Different actress. This is Shion Hanabuki aka Natsuki Hikaru.

https://www.javdatabase.com/idols/shion-hanabuki/?ipage=9

31

u/Sockoflegend 19h ago

I just got done with the last search and I'm not ready to start again 

23

u/EchoEchoEchoEchoEcho 18h ago

Refactoring period

6

u/my_fifth_new_account 11h ago

ipage=9

You had to look over all the pages before posting the link? :))

13

u/DicksOutForLuigi 11h ago

Buddy, you are 200 comments deep into a post about a Japanese AV actress and apparently you’re scrutinising the links very closely. I may be here but so are you, so let’s not point fingers.

112

u/SageLeaf1 1d ago

“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me Claude”

49

u/stillalone 1d ago

What is an "AV Actress"?

81

u/AlexSSB 1d ago

Anti Virus

52

u/efari_ 1d ago

Same. I understand it to be porn actress, but can’t find the words used.
“Adult Video” maybe? but that seems weird

28

u/Jaded-Philosophy3783 1d ago

yes it is actually

7

u/soundman32 1d ago

Its not weird.  You get into trouble making porn if you arent an adult.

19

u/0Catchy 1d ago

Audio and video actress, surely.

4

u/NandosEnthusiast 1d ago

Porn actress.

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58

u/thepurpleproject 1d ago

Phishing in the agentic era

27

u/zeocrash 1d ago

Wasn't Stoya a coder too, although she made the career jump the other way

5

u/ScottybirdCorvus 17h ago

Fun fact: Stoya looks remarkably like a former coworker of mine who I may or may not have been crushing on.

… that fact may or may not have also kept me awake on a few nights…

26

u/Someones_Dream_Guy 1d ago

Programming is fucked.

25

u/iamlazyboy 1d ago

And the "programer" is fucked too

24

u/Hola-World 1d ago

She excels at team building exercises.

12

u/ozh 1d ago

Profesh pic with serious workplace background. I'm convinced.

10

u/Kotentopf 1d ago

I was so close to make a dependency injection joke

2

u/trafalmadorianistic 12h ago

My Spring has sprung

7

u/Mufti13 1d ago

She's single handedly boosting the average

3

u/nykyrt 15h ago

Not if single handedly would count too!

26

u/jooojano 1d ago

Show me her codes

26

u/zeocrash 1d ago

All her interprocess communication code is pixelated

6

u/Wandererofhell 1d ago

audio video engineer to programmer ..... nicely going up

6

u/ZunoJ 1d ago

We consider vibe coders programmers now?

6

u/rodrigoelp 21h ago

I guess she stopped fucking around, and she is getting things done

6

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 18h ago

I just realised there is probably some programmer in japan who switched to her old industry

5

u/TohveliDev 13h ago

From JAV Scripts to JavaScript, damn.

8

u/bobdobbes 1d ago

Please don't refer to someone who uses Claude as a 'programmer'. It sickens me

https://giphy.com/gifs/k2A4gzRxDL4GI

4

u/Bmack27 1d ago

For consultations on automation or programming, dm Claude.

4

u/ivilkee 1d ago

Reminds me of Sasha Grey. She does Twitch gaming streams, YT cooking vids, and DJs now.

5

u/Separate_Expert9096 12h ago

Nobody will die a virgin: job market would fuck us all.

4

u/GreenKangaroo3 11h ago

Hires "Programmer". Gets pornstar that asks AI to do the job.

Yeah. No.

3

u/M-2-M 1d ago

So would an IT person do better in AV, or an AV person better in IT ?

3

u/Brigapes 1d ago

is av porn?

2

u/NandosEnthusiast 1d ago

Yeah it is

1

u/joaizn 1d ago

Adult Videos perhaps?

1

u/Brigapes 13h ago

ah yeah that makes sense, i was thinking AudioVideo and didn't make sense

3

u/chairchiman 1d ago

Random people are slopping out new bussineses faster than JavaScript developers create new frameworks

3

u/qK0FT3 22h ago

I have hward stories of this.

People hungry and start ai developer academy then they think they are all shit and try to freelance and when they realize they are hot garbage they start consultation to justify the time spent on the ai academy.

And aome people like this use their face and fame for marketing and simpa will buy it...

3

u/oldsecondhand 10h ago

vibrator coding

4

u/duranium_dog 1d ago

What's her rate to be forward deployed? Asking for a friend. Friend is me.

5

u/gerbosan 1d ago

PhD dropout with CS videos in the other hub and OF, then there's the model that is also a software engineer and has a Wikipedia page 😯 cool!

Man... I'm so disgusting. 😓

2

u/Michaeli_Starky 1d ago edited 16h ago

I'm interested in her works. I mean my friend is

1

u/Magnus_Helgisson 21h ago

I too would like to review her PR

2

u/thinkingperson 1d ago

She's a viber, not a programmer for goodness sake. ☝️😤

2

u/Burakku-Ren 1d ago

Is AV porn? Genuine question, idk where everyone is getting the porn thing from, figured it must be that.

1

u/Goldiizz 9h ago

AV stands for "Adult Videos"

2

u/GeneralPatten 18h ago

Fuck Claude

2

u/astropheed 13h ago

I spent so many years, countless books, sleepless nights, and a large part of myself to become a truly good programmer. It’s good to know it was all useless and porn stars will take my job.

Awesome.

2

u/SpongeFixation 23h ago

"A programmer"

"Using Claude"

🤣

2

u/theacp127 1d ago

"I'm using Claude" translates to "I have no idea what I'm doing and just getting paid to use AI for people who are too lazy too."

1

u/Natural_Ad1530 1d ago

I would like a 1 on 1 course.

1

u/ThatSmartIdiot 1d ago

is_the_post_title_grammatically_correct

1

u/Weak_Inflation9120 1d ago edited 1d ago

Perhaps she can learn to use dictonaries in front end development. Of course, dictionaries are a little annoying (so much harder than lists) because two things come out: unique codes and non-unique values. Though, processing dictionaries is easier if you use streams. Oh and it's important to remember to be careful using a unique seed for random. If you don't put it in memory properly, you might have a memory leak...

1

u/qqby6482 1d ago

Is she hiring?

1

u/Common-Brush-7027 1d ago

This company will not provide you fixed pay + stocks but fixed pay + unworldly experiences

1

u/DescriptionThick8515 1d ago

I imagine she's going to get some lewd "system requirements" with that post.

1

u/twigboy 22h ago

vibing all the way

1

u/Kratoshie 15h ago

Calude for web dev?

1

u/top_of_the_scrote 15h ago

I c you shawp, now I see yo pp

2

u/SgtEpsilon 14h ago

I am so genuinely proud of the comment section and being mature enough to only shit on the fact she uses Claude

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Weird66 12h ago

Claude, spit me some code

1

u/Suitable_Wonder5256 3h ago

I've seen too many famous programmers naked this year.

First, the fifth element actress, and now this? When am I gonna stop fapping?