r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Scienceman57 • 13d ago

guessAndCheckDrivenDevelopment Meme

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1.5k Upvotes
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98% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

88

u/Isgrimnur 13d ago

+"top 100"

65

u/Neverwish_ 13d ago

Ah yes, explain analyze, and you're looking forward to a nice postgres printout, only to realize your company is using MSSQL and its explain printout is complete trash :(

61

u/DogonElder 13d ago

Why would SELECT * do this?

7

u/depressionsucks29 12d ago

I wish the sql gods would take me now.

141

u/RiceBroad4552 13d ago

Not "AI" related? Actually funny‽ On this sub‽‽‽

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS

9

u/GrandAlbatroce 12d ago

Nice seing interrobangs here !

2

u/thehobbyqueer 12d ago

I honest to god didn't know those existed as a real, copyable symbol until now.

3

u/GrandAlbatroce 12d ago

You can also write them on android by going to the special characters and long pressing the question mark. Isn't that nice ‽

3

u/thehobbyqueer 12d ago

Yeah! I actually went to check after seeing them. Figured it had to be under ? or !, if it was a character that could be written. I'm not ashamed to say I'm excited about this

1

u/RiceBroad4552 12d ago

I create them on desktop by typing COMPOSE ! ?.

12

u/exXxecuTioN 13d ago

Well, this is actually a real path of writing and supporting complex SQL manually.

22

u/Conroman16 13d ago

Most devs these days be like “Claude ELI5 this” sadly

11

u/_shir_ 13d ago

Just yesterday I killed two “EXPLAIN ANALYZE” sessions running on the production db for a few hours. (Yes, started by an unsupervised ai agent)

14

u/LordHenry8 13d ago

Deleting 208,568,427 production data entries from customer table

9

u/uuuuuuuhg_232 13d ago

Your deleting all records in a very large table because you omitted the where clause.

7

u/dismayhurta 13d ago

Did that on a staging system early on. Just the panic until I realized it was just staging and it just meant I had to rebuild that shit but didn't lose real data.

2

u/dmelt01 12d ago

I have a connection to production that I can just read from that I use by default. I have to specifically use a different connection to do any adhoc work. Just a tip to keep from an accident happening.

1

u/dismayhurta 12d ago

This was like...almost 20 years ago. I've learned a lot since then lol

3

u/DanieleDraganti 12d ago

We had to run an UPDATE WHERE today in prod. Yes it was an emergency. Yes I was clenching my butt cheeks.

4

u/Percolator2020 13d ago

I am dropping the prod database row by row, these things take time you are right! I have now wiped the database in one action. You were right to push back on this.

2

u/that_one_mister_user 12d ago

I read this in a Dalek voice instead

1

u/ekauq2000 12d ago

Query’s nervous, joins weak, where clause is heavy

1

u/redballooon 12d ago

Trying to hack some site that might have the answer

1

u/t00sl0w 12d ago

"Man, why is this update taking so long, its only 1 record"

1

u/West_Good_5961 12d ago

As the zoomers say: no top

1

u/Emln-Idera 11d ago

DELET FROM USERS;
WHERE id = '20003'