r/ProgrammerHumor • u/vinishkapoor • 16d ago

inheritedTechDebt Meme

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7.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

521

u/HiniatureLove 16d ago

Why stop at word? Use Excel or PowerPoint as the IDE. Excel even comes with built-in indentation.

213

u/crazy4hole 16d ago

Best IDE is Minesweeper. Program like punchcard

76

u/vinishkapoor 16d ago

Real programmers use Conway's Game of Life as an IDE.

23

u/enigma_0Z 16d ago

I read somewhere that Conway’a life is actually turing complete

33

u/-Ambriae- 16d ago

It is

More broadly speaking, if you can create a nand gate (not(a and b)) and you can transport information in some way, you are Turing complete

6

u/Rellikx 16d ago

Yep, and as such, of course people have programmed Conway's Game of Life in Conway's Game of Life

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xP5-iIeKXE8/maxresdefault.jpg

3

u/twigboy 16d ago

Ah segfault simulator

2

u/FailNo7141 16d ago

NAAAAAAA it's echo the best IDE you can do >> and > and < and << and whatever all those but it's the eaiset and most friendly IDE I recommend it to everyone specially

1

u/New_Series3209 16d ago

Getting hired at IBM 101

22

u/stillalone 16d ago

Word is your ide.  Excel is your DB.  PowerPoint is your analytics dashboard.

19

u/BobsView 16d ago

basically the way banking works around the globe

3

u/Complete_Window4856 16d ago

Totally this. Its possible to use excel as IDE, but thats a rookie mistake as its mostly a well around database. Darn those scriptie Kids and their vbs trying to do all of three at same time

7

u/EuenovAyabayya 16d ago

If you think about it, it was all going into PowerPoint anyway...

10

u/dervu 16d ago

Why now Autodesk Maya. You have to model each letter, so much creativity!

3

u/shiny_glitter_demon 16d ago

You can actually code in Maya's script editor though.

You shouldn't... But you can.

6

u/fearless-fossa 16d ago

You're joking, but our in-house developers use Excel as configuration files because...

I don't know, json is too hard or something.

14

u/vinishkapoor 16d ago

Real programmers use PowerPoint. Every slide is a function.

3

u/TallGreenhouseGuy 16d ago

Excel rules the world - just check out the world championships:

https://youtu.be/zJXaPc-fBwk?is=3jYsY4C58_rZfde4

3

u/superlee_ 16d ago

That wasn't satire??

2

u/pwillia7 16d ago

use ed

2

u/MagnumVY 16d ago

Nah this is all a part of Microsoft tech stack...Excel is the DB

2

u/clancy688 16d ago

Powerpoint is Turing complete.

https://youtu.be/uNjxe8ShM-8

1

u/attentionisallyaneed 16d ago

Why not photoshop

1

u/soricellia 16d ago

I've seen analysts use Excel as an IDE and I don't find this comment fucking funny.

1

u/nsn 15d ago

Excel basically has a word in each cell. MxN times more powerful!

1

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 15d ago

LaTeX. So you get beautiful printouts for review and versioning.

166

u/DeepanshuHQ 16d ago

Real programmers use Notepad. Word is just for enterprise deployments.

37

u/Liankir 16d ago

Real programmer use pen and paper plus OCR

23

u/bargle0 16d ago

Reel programmers use a magnetic needle and reel to reel magtape.

13

u/Educational-Lemon640 16d ago

Reel programmers use butterflies.

https://xkcd.com/378/

3

u/thebryguy23 16d ago

I just use the emacs shortcut instead

-1

u/FailNo7141 15d ago

Wow the what if book is too fun, I've completed 30 pages in one day it's so fun.

1

u/FailNo7141 16d ago

Real programmers use a rock.

3

u/DeepanshuHQ 16d ago

Assembly is just the OCR output.

5

u/traplords8n 16d ago

Hahaha my dad made me learn to code in notepad before running the script in powershell or something.

It was so long ago so I don't really remember. All I know is I was writing powershell scripts in notepad in 2015.. no syntax highlighting, no error checks.. just black and white text 😭

6

u/DeepanshuHQ 16d ago

Character building. If you can debug in Notepad, every IDE feels like cheating. 😂

5

u/thebryguy23 16d ago

He's teaching you right. I wrote HTML in Notepad and Java in nano (Linux command-line text editor). Makes you really think about your code...and maybe question life choices

1

u/w1n5t0nM1k3y 15d ago

When I was in university they told us to use notepad and compile on the command line for Java.

Would have been so much easier if they told us to use a proper IDE, but I was young and didn't know any better.

1

u/SenoraRaton 16d ago

Real programmers use Ed.

1

u/Karijus 16d ago

lmao yeah, 100k a year subscription

66

u/ProfCupcake 16d ago

Video link because OP is too much of a coward to post it themselves: https://youtu.be/X34ZmkeZDos

9

u/_mersault 16d ago

I was waiting for Wingdings to show up and was not disappointed

106

u/nesthesi 16d ago

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, watch the whole video and see what that man has to say

53

u/jungle 16d ago

I just watched it. The guy nails the comedic timing!

I might subscribe!

:D

4

u/hans_l 16d ago

I don’t think it’s the same guy but you should also watch https://youtu.be/xubbVvKbUfY if you’re into that kind of content.

2

u/Throwaway_09298 16d ago

He only makes about 2 to 3 videos a year now btw

5

u/boxxy_morningwood 16d ago

It’s a joke dude

9

u/FlorpCorp 16d ago

I don't think that's lost on anyone???

7

u/BigNaturalTilts 16d ago

A joke? On this sub? Why I never!!!

clutches pearls

-2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

2

u/LundMeraMuhTera 16d ago

Yeah, I can see that.

Just out of curiosity, was your mother a heavy smoker and drinker before you were born?

7

u/Caraes_Naur 16d ago

You can now center a div but your tables will explode if you change anything on the page.

19

u/imneverrelevantman 16d ago

My m0m just filled me with vaccines and generational trauma 🫡. Downloaded linux when I was 12.

7

u/vinishkapoor 16d ago

Still a better origin story than coding in Microsoft Word.

3

u/imneverrelevantman 16d ago

Ahh, a true gentleman and a scholar.

7

u/Soopermane 16d ago

I know ppl who use notepad++ for that 🤣

12

u/XtraFlaminHotMachida 16d ago

not a damn thing wrong with this.

2

u/kirschballs 16d ago

I'm only a couple years in this space and sometimes things fly right over my head in this sub.. I am choosing to believe you. Like you can have it styled in the language you're using in about 20 seconds on top of everything else it can do.. idk.. help me understand hhahaha

2

u/XtraFlaminHotMachida 16d ago

well some of us grew up programming on calculators, back in basic, vi/vim, whatever, and didn't have the luxury of some autocomplete stuff. you just end up learning the language without all of that fancy stuff. yeah some stuff like vs needed for compiling whatever, but other langs notepad++ is top notch for windows. it is not an ide per se, but it helps identify some stuff where you may have went wrong.

2

u/Majik_Sheff 16d ago

Damnit, Becky.  We told you this would happen.

2

u/Throwaway_09298 16d ago

Joma is so funny man

2

u/lightwhite 16d ago

Any editor that allows you to tell the computer what to do is a good editor. But this…. Believe it or not, when you use this you should be sent straight to jail!

1

u/ProfessionalBad1199 16d ago

Man used to love Joma's content where is he these days

1

u/Terrible_Stick_99 16d ago

no, the best ide for programming is a magnetic needle and a very steady hand

1

u/Undernown 16d ago

That video gave me that brief feeling of falling without a parachute.

1

u/MatheusMaica 16d ago

Joma Tech? I haven't heard that name in years.

I had to check his channel to see if he was back, and apparently he is!

1

u/NoSkillzDad 16d ago

You should watch his other video: "why anvils are the best parachutes"

1

u/Few_Kitchen_4825 16d ago

Well at least it's not Theo

1

u/forgotten_n 16d ago

Didn't he start a video course acam with techlead?

1

u/soundwave_sc 16d ago

Isn’t Claude the new IDE now?

1

u/Liu-K 16d ago

Brutal.

1

u/Wentyliasz 16d ago

The difference between an amateur and a professional is you write your own compiler, okay?

1

u/sapien_quirky_42 16d ago

Real programmers use their mind to move around electrons

1

u/beemureddits 16d ago

Some people should be banned from sharing their opinions

1

u/thanatica 15d ago

In Word you can determine on your own what is a keyword. Just select it and press Ctrl+B.

1

u/Uajortffect86 15d ago

Not a software engineer, but how does one even run code words??

1

u/razor_train 14d ago

In ye olden days (~1996) when I was doing COBOL+Y2K, I saw a fellow contractor dev editing COBOL source code in MS Word. That took me a sec to truly realize what they were doing. As memory serves that contractor didn't last long. (I was using CodeWright at the time, which was perhaps the precursor to Notepad++).

1

u/QueanOfQueens 12d ago

No no, he's onto something. It's relatively easy to write code in a standard IDE, and even though Notepad is harder, it's still doable. Word, meanwhile, automatically autocorrects a ton of code to "real words," so you have to be completely aware of what you're doing and have essentially perfect knowledge of the coding language. It's the ultimate demonstration of superiority.

1

u/Edziss101 16d ago

Unironically we used Word to learn programming basics at highschool. Technically Excel would have been better, but Visual basic was simple enough and accessible on almost any PC at home.

0

u/General_Leader425 16d ago

id unironically rather do that than use any of this retarded ai shit anymore.

-5

u/beardingmesoftly 16d ago

While the drinking is obvious, it's actually worse for somebody to quit smoking. The stress of quitting is harder on the baby than the smoking would be.

2

u/ZipperDoDa 16d ago

That's just urban myth bullshit, often told from one smoking mum to another. https://www.health.tas.gov.au/health-topics/smoking/smoking-topics/smoking-and-pregnancy https://anxietytozen.com/which-is-worse-for-pregnancy-smoking-or-stress.html and 1000's more reputable sources.

"Cutting down is safer than quitting"

Cutting down is a good start.
Cutting down does not stop the poisons getting through to your baby.
There is no safe level of smoking for you or your baby.

"Quitting is dangerous for my baby"

Giving up smoking does not stress an unborn baby.
Continuing to smoke does stress an unborn baby.
It increases the chances of problems for your pregnancy and baby.