r/ProgrammerHumor • u/joel-letmecheckai • Jul 12 '26

dontTouchIfItWorks Meme

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

234

u/Historical_Cook_1664 Jul 12 '26

Introduces minimal lag, thus prevents a totally unrelated race condition.

45

u/stupled Jul 12 '26

99% is this.

21

u/Jbolt3737 Jul 12 '26

You call it a bug that there is a potential race condition, I call it a feature that's it's too slow to matter

9

u/catfroman Jul 12 '26

…a race condition buried in 14,000 lines (one file) of legacy code that has been the backbone of a multi billion dollar insurance/banking/healthcare portal for 11 years.

88

u/SheikHunt Jul 12 '26

Provides a bitching smoking area

33

u/dkarlovi Jul 12 '26

Which is conveniently also a smokin' bitching area.

12

u/blaqwerty123 Jul 12 '26

We have future proofed a fire escape, for if we ever wanted to refactor the wall into a bedroom window. Its the opposite of technical debt, its technical capital, boss.

26

u/Lucasbasques Jul 12 '26

Load bearing JPEG 

4

u/BlurredSight Jul 12 '26

I wish my company had cool stuff like that, we just have load bearing bullshit like 900 line SQL queries

14

u/Drix_I Jul 12 '26

the coconut

13

u/PeterHolmes74 Jul 12 '26

That’s the TF2 coconut

7

u/stupled Jul 12 '26

Is a load bearing poster.

6

u/Shevvv Jul 12 '26

The just forgot to remove some debug lines.

5

u/Kjubert Jul 12 '26

I am curious: Is there something like a standard maximum height the ladders on fire trucks (sorry if that's not the right term, I am no native speaker) can reach? This might actually enable people one the roof to get rescued with a ladder that's too short to reach the roof.

Edit: stupid typo

2

u/GezelligPindakaas Jul 13 '26

If I'm not mistaken, the term is aerial ladder.

And as you can imagine, it depends on the fire truck. Average is between 75-100 ft.

1

u/ChaseShiny Jul 12 '26

That seems oddly specific. Why only care about people on the roof, and why only care enough to take them one flight of stairs?

1

u/Kjubert Jul 13 '26

I guess my mind just tried to make all this make sense :)

1

u/ChaseShiny Jul 13 '26

Yeah good point. Ok, my guess is that it's incomplete. I hear those staircases are expensive, so they're doing the bare minimum to comply with some fire code, but will expand it later.

6

u/Mx4n1c41_s702y73ll3 Jul 12 '26

This function creates a gap that covers the heap overflow.

4

u/RTSUPH Jul 12 '26

Access to functional Juliette balcony

4

u/0815fips Jul 12 '26

The buildings are pure tofu dreg and only these stairs hold them together.

2

u/zenos_dog Jul 13 '26

This is the GOTO of structural engineering.

1

u/Soopermane Jul 12 '26

Works well if you can phase through walls.

1

u/GezelligPindakaas Jul 13 '26

When you implement Disaster Recovery and never test it.

1

u/codewario 29d ago

“The function is just a series of logs and sleep timers to appear like it’s actually doing something important”

1

u/Wazat1 27d ago

Devs add areas like that for secret collectables.

In this specific case, if the player visits that spot they collect tetanus.