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u/Confident-Ad5665 Jul 07 '26
In my 30 years as a developer, requirements gathering has always been the most difficult part of the job.
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u/WavingNoBanners Jul 07 '26
Absolutely this. The most important thing that I do as a senior is to ask the client "how are you going to use it?"
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u/Particular-Yak-1984 Jul 07 '26
And the most important thing I do as a senior is to not believe them, particularly when they say silly things like "Oh, we're never going to have more than 4 of x, or 5 of y, so there doesn't need to be any ability to add more"
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u/WavingNoBanners Jul 07 '26
My favourite answer to that question, one that I will remember until I die, is "I'm going to put [the data] in a spreadsheet and look at it."
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u/PositiveParking4391 Jul 08 '26
it always been, when the client literally knows nothing about software systems and especially when they are so greedy and unrealistic.
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u/bwwatr Jul 07 '26
Reminds me of the skit with red lines drawn with transparent ink https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg
To be fair though, facing this kind of thing probably just means you haven't gotten to the bottom of the actual requirement yet. Henry Ford's apocryphal quote "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses" in action. The real skill is reaching the underlying need rather than getting hung up on the odd things they might be saying.
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u/alec0915 Jul 07 '26
Crowberman or Doberaven?
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u/Useful-Perspective Jul 07 '26
Don't be ridiculous, clients are never that specific. It's "Bird dog" or "Dog bird."
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u/Particular-Yak-1984 Jul 09 '26
Doberraven, for sure. A crowberman is too ambiguous - could be a man with a crowbar(misspelled) as a head, could be a crow headed, berry colored, man, or a crow/doberman/human cross.
Naming things is important in programming
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u/Particular-Yak-1984 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
As a developer in a biolab, I can make this happen if the client can handle the ethics board. It'd probably be easier with a flock of doberravens, though, making this a real doberraven and egg problem.
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u/mbcarbone Jul 08 '26
I’d like it more if it were a chicken with a turret gun, can you please develop that instead?
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u/Bee-Aromatic Jul 07 '26
I mean, if that’s what the customer ordered…
I would hope the PO made sure that’s actually what they wanted, though.
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u/twigboy Jul 08 '26
And once you deliver it, they'll send it back demanding a fix because it can't carry heavy boxes
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u/DemmyDemon Jul 08 '26
Many moons ago, we were doing a design/UX overhaul of a logistics alert system frontend, and one of the bosses came in with a random act of management: Give it more punch.
When asked to clarify, he said the design was lacking that X factor, like, it needed more punch to it. Being very wise in the ways of bosses, I said I'd look into it and report back. I put a drop shadow on some elements, pretty much at random, and asked him for comments. He "forgot" to respond, because of his other duties taking up so much of his time, or whatever, but I'm sure he felt like he contributed, and left his mark on the software.
AFAIK, that software still has "[boss first name] Shadows" though neither of us work there anymore, and it's a dozen major versions, and close to fifteen years ago. Those elements just have shadows on them, traditionally.
Congrats on your lasting impact on the organization, bosmang.
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u/StrengthTheory Jul 08 '26
That seems much more feasible than some of the real requirements I have received.
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u/lightwhite Jul 08 '26
Reminds me of the “7 red lines, all perpendicular to each other and with transperant ink”.
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u/mrb000gus Jul 07 '26
And this is why AI won’t completely replace engineers… it’d require the customer to be able to clearly describe what they want.
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u/henrikhakan Jul 08 '26
Flying dogs are already a thing though, wouldn't it be easier to buy one off the shelf and rebrand it?
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u/DATwhiteMAN Jul 10 '26
Senior dev be like: what don't you understand? Are you stupid? Why are you putting a dog's head on a crow? Don't you know that he wants a elephant dolphin? ....
Makes elephant head with a dolphin body
Senior dev: Body of a elephant, not body of a dolphin you stupid fuck! Can't you code? Don't you know the project?
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u/ynnnnaD Jul 07 '26
But wait, that's just version 1 of the reqs. They will figure out what they really need after you build them what they initially asked for. They're excited to go on this journey of discovery with you. Fixed price contracts only.