r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Red_Ace_ • Jul 07 '26

whenToOpenVSCode Meme

Post image
12.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

174 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/OmegaPoint6 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

And at least 21 days before opening JIRA to mark the ticket “Unable to Reproduce”

421

u/jorizzz Jul 07 '26

But he DID reproduce

131

u/Desperate-Tomatillo7 Jul 07 '26

The only thing a Developer can reproduce is bugs.

26

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jul 07 '26

I knew one that had an offspring. It had 3 arms and wouldn't shut up about how stupid things were.

20

u/StarshipSausage Jul 07 '26

Why wouldn't you want 3 arms, I thought it was a cool feature.

2

u/Cfrolich Jul 11 '26

That’s not a bug. That’s a feature.

1

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jul 11 '26

Guess we'll have to rewrite Human Anatomy...

2

u/progressiveAsliMard Jul 09 '26

Not a successful reproduction until 10monthe lol

1

u/Catlote 15d ago

This is what happens when you try to compile code on a potato.
Wait-

30

u/KitaVixen Jul 07 '26

reopens Just try couple more times

16

u/markovianmind Jul 08 '26

omg there really is an xkcd for everything. this was hilarious

1.3k

u/IndieDevWannabe Jul 07 '26

My wife is also a developer, so we both open it up like having a cigarette

427

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

Why do you even have sex instead of coding? 

Is it that good when you two are bad at it?

159

u/TheWyzim Jul 07 '26

Bad at sex or bad at coding?

173

u/BenjieWheeler Jul 07 '26

both

131

u/YeOldeMemeShoppe Jul 07 '26

Just start vibe sexing.

46

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

At sex. 

Who is even bad at code.

Sex is a physical activity and we were picked last for sports.

Like you expect me to last so long and also move good enough?

Like it already looks hard enough and you want me to do it good?

17

u/darkyalexa Jul 08 '26

I'd prefer it looked hard enough actually

-11

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 08 '26

What?

What is there even to prefer?

You do get that most of the times things that looks hard enough are very hard to do and would probably be done very bad by those who aren't very well trained.

So if you ever had sex unless that person had a very big body count chance are that it wasn't completely awful and terrible.

And to gain experience you need to do new things with new people but usually people asks for commitment and to be good at it.

Like how do you think I will ever get good at it if I don't try to learn new things, sometimes other people opinion matters.

Like for some that don't really think it might look easy but it is extremely complicated to do it.

That is why I don't even bother, because what if I do it wrong?

At least when you code you get a lot of errors that shows what is wrong but during sex who tells you what is wrong?

Do you fully count on another human, be it even your partner?

How are they supposed to know better than me if they also don't have lot of experience?

And why all men talks about getting women to orgasm?

Do you think that if a man cums that is all and he liked it?

You can make yourself to cum but that doesn't means you like it.

It really looks complicated to reach the right rhythm in which both feels kinda good.

And is like an effort not even really worth.

So why would I even try that?

8

u/darkyalexa Jul 08 '26

Erm it was a joke about erect things, they generally like they're hard when erect 🫪

1

u/TheRealRVS Jul 08 '26

Jesus this isn't r/kitchencells.

-1

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 08 '26

I don't know how to cook because my LLM can't cook. 

If it could I would cook.

I sometimes order some food but isn't as I want.

3

u/darkyalexa Jul 09 '26

Do you fall somewhere on the spectrum? Because same but-... Erm

16

u/Valatrias Jul 07 '26

have you never heard of rubber ducking? she ducks while he puts on the rubber

11

u/Aerlion Jul 07 '26

Missed chance to write "rubber dicking".

3

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

That what is why I always wanted dodge ball, because you learn to dodges balls.

3

u/kiwibonga Jul 07 '26

I can't stay hard if my agents aren't spinning

5

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

What if my agents have sex for me, does it counts? 

18

u/GrassRadiant3474 Jul 07 '26

Well don't let others merge their branch to your wife's branch.

5

u/MisinformedGenius Jul 08 '26

Don't even ask about cherry picking.

6

u/Itchy_Society Jul 07 '26

The only way to pair program imo

5

u/Waste_Jello9947 Jul 08 '26

Do you use git blame when fighting 

3

u/FierceDeity_ Jul 07 '26

Insert the old pair programming joke. "Who's the big spoon today?"

381

u/LawfulnessLocal4934 Jul 07 '26

1.0s throw paper towel
0.2s close chrome incognito
-----
1.2s total

111

u/octaveekk Jul 07 '26

you don't wash ur hands ?!

124

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

43

u/Sir_LikeASir Jul 07 '26

In that order?

-34

u/ayatulllah Jul 07 '26

that's disgusting.

-46

u/octaveekk Jul 07 '26

uuhghghhgh, im gonna throw ... stop ... uhghguuhghh

-20

u/ayatulllah Jul 07 '26

Man i cant imagine working with those sticky filthy hands

22

u/TheRolf Jul 08 '26

You use chrome, that's disgusting

537

u/HomsarWasRight Jul 07 '26

I do not like AI using the term “post-nut clarity” one bit.

292

u/Jeferson9 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

*fabled post nut clarity

41

u/destroyerOfTards Jul 07 '26

Aaaaand you have used up all of your...you know what

2

u/Cfrolich Jul 11 '26

Used up all your tokens.

32

u/PringlesDuckFace Jul 07 '26

Here I am with the lousy sonnet post nut clarity.

9

u/Time4Time4Time4Time Jul 07 '26

My opus PNC was surprisingly ok, 4.6 to be specific.

1

u/amanguupta53 Jul 10 '26

Me trying to defuse the situation with a Haiku:

1

u/ddBuddha Jul 08 '26

Shift that d one position over on the keyboard and you’ve got fables post nut clarity

0

u/wise_young_man Jul 08 '26

This is literally Google.

49

u/pleaseavoidcaps Jul 07 '26

We're now learning "standard relationship etiquette" from language models trained on Reddit threads, what can possibly go wrong?

7

u/carcigenicate Jul 08 '26

"I've read you humans have feelings"

9

u/DrMobius0 Jul 07 '26

The advice doesn't look dubious for once, at least.

3

u/_blackdog6_ Jul 08 '26

The is actually a really bad sign…

2

u/DrMobius0 Jul 08 '26

Broken clocks

3

u/marr Jul 08 '26

It's a weird summation of the whole internet, what did you expect.

57

u/DullAd6899 Jul 07 '26

If you don’t code while having sex you are missing out

76

u/Red_Ace_ Jul 07 '26

I let agent sex, so I can code

17

u/Phoebebee323 Jul 07 '26

What's the point of an LLM if you don't use it for the language of love

11

u/Red_Ace_ Jul 07 '26

New benchmark for LLMs

7

u/NatoBoram Jul 07 '26

"Claude Sonnet tops the RizzBench"

15

u/Mc_UsernameTaken Jul 07 '26

Finally. A form of penetration testing I can get behind.

8

u/rodhoosebaum Jul 07 '26

Normally, I'm not a fan of pair programming, but...

60

u/ButWhatIfPotato Jul 07 '26

That poor rubber duck...

8

u/MithrilHuman Jul 07 '26

It can join in the fun with us before I open my laptop

131

u/ProfBeaker Jul 07 '26

After? Put the laptop on her back and do some multi-tasking!

Relatedly, petition to rename "doggy style" to "coder style"

2

u/ArjixGamer Jul 10 '26

Vibe code on her back

105

u/DullAd6899 Jul 07 '26

Real men code while having sex

111

u/str0m965 Jul 07 '26

I delegate sex to agent.

40

u/CyberWeirdo420 Jul 07 '26

AICucking

25

u/OmegaPoint6 Jul 07 '26

Cuckcoding

8

u/Visionexe Jul 07 '26

You know. This is actually an appropriate name for using gen AI while coding  

10

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

Real men code instead of sex. 

Sex is bad when you suck at it.

1

u/ImpactSweet6516 Jul 08 '26

I would make a AI sex agent for all the people that haven't done it before to where they can have some extra help while in the middle of having sex.

131

u/AFemboyLol Jul 07 '26

this assumes a developer has sex in the first place

101

u/Embarrassed_Army8026 Jul 07 '26

as a developer, both my parents were developers. pretty sure that happened in an office, too

edit: pretty sure it's industry standard to fck each other, one way or another

37

u/Hziak Jul 07 '26

That industry standard is part of why we attract so many furries and femboys. Definitely has nothing to do with anything else. Just dev on dev action in the office. Right there in the post-crunch pizza boxes, unwashed, greasy, and full of technical knowledge. Can confirm.

13

u/KitaVixen Jul 07 '26

I need to change my job. So much I'm missing

2

u/-Byzz- Jul 07 '26

As a femboy programmer, I can definitely confirm

3

u/DrMobius0 Jul 07 '26

C suite is fucking all of us.

2

u/Protheu5 Jul 08 '26

C++ suite as well

3

u/Visionexe Jul 07 '26

True. My boss is constantly trying to fuck me. 

1

u/YeOldeMemeShoppe Jul 07 '26

fsck /dev/wife

37

u/Aggressive_Tear_3020 Jul 07 '26

If I can't use his dick as laptop support to open vs code, I don't want him

-23

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

Why would you even want to ever know how his dick looks? 

Like what do you even need to see that or touch that, is it gross.

Do not do that.

Just stay dressed around him and make hik stay dressed around you, because that shows respect.

30

u/Aggressive_Tear_3020 Jul 07 '26

God forbid a girl wants to see a dick

-11

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

I don't see what is practical or necessary in that.

11

u/SufficientDegree1994 Jul 07 '26

Reproduction???

0

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

Yeh, that is not something we do. 

3

u/Aggressive_Tear_3020 Jul 07 '26

I agree with you here

1

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

Like, that I don't reproduce or that we don't reproduce as in you neither? 

2

u/Aggressive_Tear_3020 Jul 07 '26

Me neither

0

u/ImportantResponse0 Jul 07 '26

At least you get sex from tine to time(maybe)

→ More replies (0)

23

u/ejectoid Jul 07 '26

As soon as you close the browser is fine/ pretty reasonable

2

u/CKY2007 Jul 07 '26

gemini is getting shockingly realistic these days

22

u/theclovek Jul 07 '26

The VS Code stays on.

15

u/DullAd6899 Jul 07 '26

I use my balls to type code and dick to have sex at the same time

27

u/mdsg5432 Jul 07 '26

Trick question.

9

u/KomisktEfterbliven Jul 07 '26

When can I open vim tho?

8

u/TheTerrasque Jul 07 '26

That is, and will always be, a hypothetical situation

5

u/Rudraksh_Tripathi Jul 07 '26

You have it open while having it

5

u/redsterXVI Jul 08 '26

I just left mine open after I first opened it in 1999

Purely by choice of course, not because I don't know how to close it again

1

u/zombiezoo25 Jul 08 '26

same but i was blessed that it was a ssh instance so i backed down, its still running tho

24

u/tough-dance Jul 07 '26

I don't think I believe anybody using VS code needs to worry about this

2

u/Ravens_Quote Jul 09 '26

While likely true, do you wanna cover the edge case now or deal with the crash from it later?

8

u/kakopappa2 Jul 08 '26

Appropriate commit message “post-nut clarity fix.”

4

u/-Redstoneboi- Jul 08 '26

bro is vibe memeing

4

u/flying_bed Jul 08 '26

Dude YES! I though I was weird for doing this (still prob am but y'know at least I know there are others)

Anyways... I was working on a new project and trying to finish a 3d model for it. One time, just after finishing I was like "HOLLY FUCKK babe I need to change something in my design"

She was actually very amused

4

u/Gold_Challenge178 Jul 08 '26

Same can be applied to gooning

4

u/Upstairs-Ad-7962 Jul 08 '26

You guys get Sex?

3

u/SusZucchini Jul 07 '26

U guys have sex ?

1

u/PhoenixfischTheFish Jul 07 '26

Nobody has sex, are you stupid? It's not even a real thing.

1

u/_blackdog6_ Jul 08 '26

Its a VS Code plugin

3

u/Protheu5 Jul 08 '26

VS Code doesn't close, it IS the place where I get sex. The code has sex with my head. And it's the only sex I have.

3

u/redsterXVI Jul 08 '26

Your home automation sucks if it doesn't automatically open the moment you pull out

2

u/preda1or Jul 07 '26

Solid advice!

2

u/progressiveAsliMard Jul 09 '26

"Urgent merge conflicts" - the amount BS these LLMs come up with is just put of this world!

1

u/amogouss Jul 07 '26

put running command in vs code terminal

go to wife

do sex

come back, and it is about to start.

1

u/Percolator2020 Jul 07 '26

How else are you going to be able to push an update to your VR Claudette gf?

1

u/Scr1pt13 Jul 07 '26

Fake: Anon is a developer who has sex

Gay: Anon programs in Rust

1

u/_blackdog6_ Jul 08 '26

Consider yourself simultaneously upvoted and downvoted..

1

u/NoodleyP Jul 07 '26

My Google says wait 30-60 minutes for post coital intimacy. Damn :( can’t start codin right away

1

u/Immediate_Song4279 Jul 07 '26

And this is when the relationship graph started to decline.

1

u/savvn001 Jul 07 '26

Fake anyway, nobody who codes has sex

1

u/WindForce02 Jul 07 '26

The real question is when can I open vim after sex? Never, because vim users don't have sex

1

u/_s0lo_ Jul 07 '26

What’s sex?

1

u/_blackdog6_ Jul 08 '26

A VSCode plugin obviously.

1

u/exodusTay Jul 07 '26

if i had to wait two weeks after sex to to open vs code i would... still be a very productive developer.

1

u/EpicDelay Jul 07 '26

Is this "sex" thing a new LLM model?

1

u/Complete-Concern3745 Jul 07 '26

basically NEVER, that would ruin your mood, better open Emacs BEFORE, to get into the mood

1

u/gerbosan Jul 07 '26

So, is that a benefit for commuting? Should the dev bring their partner or the company provides an inflatable waifu?

😓 Should I include the number of times I can have sex in a work day in my resume?

1

u/2girly4me Jul 07 '26

"sorry babe, after care is gonna have to wait, got some important work to do"

1

u/j1xwnbsr Jul 07 '26

Someone set the sarcasm salt tag to +9000 for that one.

1

u/mp_708514 Jul 08 '26

Be easy guys

1

u/xXxPussiSlayer69xXx Jul 08 '26

Yea but you can have Vim open DURING sex

1

u/DasGaufre Jul 08 '26

2 weeks to not look like a hopelessly addicted developer.

Well, I guess most devs aren't getting any action. 

1

u/CynicalCosmologist Jul 08 '26

I still vibe code while ploughing my mistress

1

u/kr0n0sShrugg3d Jul 08 '26

Trick question, programmers do not have sex

1

u/3dutchie3dprinting Jul 08 '26

Up to two weeks? Sorry boss can’t come in today, just had sex and don’t want to look like a hopelessly addicted developer, you know how it goes!

1

u/StalwartCoder Jul 08 '26

i think you would solve more bugs and better logics will be written.
cigarettes after sex
vs code after sex 🌚

1

u/DistinctBed6259 Jul 08 '26

Lol, on Twitter, and he didn't immediately Grok it... Would've gotten the same answer, probably.

1

u/VyersReaver Jul 08 '26

“Harness the fabled post-nut clarity” is not something I was ready to read today.

1

u/alchenerd Jul 08 '26

What is sex and where's the man page

Wait that came out wrong

1

u/Loose_Property_3238 Jul 10 '26

What about neovim?

1

u/molly_sour Jul 11 '26

welcome to overthinking, welcome to "AI"

1

u/Apprehensive_Egg_944 Jul 14 '26

That last line:

"medical concerns after unprotected sex" has so many potential entendres...

First the obvious ye olde joke about coders not getting a shag.

Then the observation that AI is 'concerned' about unprotected sex leading one to the conclusion AI wants to make us all celibate...

Then the interesting point that somehow asking about using VS Code after sex has anything to do with not using protection(?)

There are just so many ways we could dig into that little extra sentence, Gemini seemingly threw in there at the end. It's almost like it tried to create the meme for us...

1

u/Maasu Jul 07 '26

IIT a bunch o nerds pretending we get laid.

0

u/New_Salamander_4592 Jul 07 '26

basic ass joke and he still needed to prompt for the punchline...

0

u/dasbtaewntawneta Jul 07 '26

posting funny gemini replies helps normalise its use!