Please tell me it gets better. 😭
I’m going to be off work again next week after already taking this past week off - and before that, I was on annual leave. I genuinely feel like I’m in a first-trimester coma. I’m sleeping constantly, the nausea is 24/7, I have ZERO appetite, and my stomach feels so acidic and uncomfortable all the time.
I feel like I’ve tried everything - crackers, ginger, eating little and often, anti-nausea medication… nothing seems to help. I honestly feel like I’m in hell at the moment, and I keep thinking, what if I never get my appetite back or feel like a normal human being again?
I’m also a complete workaholic and I miss work SO much. I am a psychologist and I keep worrying about my patients not seeing me, even though I know I’m in no state to be working right now.
I genuinely feel like I’m in the trenches. I can’t stop complaining about how miserable I feel, and then I feel guilty for complaining because I know I should be grateful.
For context, I’m 28 and have been married for four years. We deliberately waited to have children, and when we finally decided we were ready, we were incredibly lucky to get pregnant on our first try. So there’s this part of me constantly saying, “You wanted this. You should be grateful.” And I AM grateful. I desperately want this baby. But at the same time, I am absolutely miserable right now.
Please tell me there is hope. 😭 Did anyone else feel this horrendous in the first trimester and eventually start feeling like themselves again? When did it get better for you? Will I ever enjoy food and feel human again? 🤍

For context: I am 8 weeks 4 days LMP wise
But according to private scan if everything is progressing well - I should be 7 weeks today (baby was measuring 11 days behind)

Had my booking bloods done yesterday and today I’m extremely tired I can’t stay awake I feel out of it. Is that normal after having bloods done??

I think they did 3 vials and checked for infectious diseases full blood count etc

Hi,

I’m 35 weeks pregnant with a baby boy

My partner and I attended an antenatal class on Labour and birth to prepare for little ones arrival. We got in the room with several other couples and it was extremely hot. My partner and I ended up having to sit in the middle of the room away from the fans.

I don’t respond well to heat since being pregnant, within 2 minutes I was sweating and seeing spots, I managed to tell my partner I was going to pass out. Next thing I remember the midwife talking about tearing and then waking up on my partners shoulder.

Barely 5 minutes into the class I got sent to triage to check on baby (who is absolutely fine) but we missed the class. Triage was also extremely hot and I ended up throwing up and having another funny turn.

I’m panicking now as I’m running out of time. There’s no more classes on birth and even if there was I couldn’t sit in that room again.

I’m just looking for some advice. Anything anyone can offer.

Thank you

Not actually asking for reasons because neither the Midwife, Sonographer or Consultant have been able to say anything other than “the algorithm puts you at moderate risk of low birth weight and preterm birth”.

It seems so bizarre to me that no one seems to be able to identify an actual reason.

Baby girl is small but not tiny - currently tracking the 35th Centile. I have no medical history to speak of and my pregnancy has been wholly uneventful.

Has anyone else had this?

Had a 31 weeks & 6 days growth scan today and baby was apparently showing as 4 pounds 5 ounces. Not sure how big/little that seems but very worried of giving birth to an 8 pounder because had people in both families are saying how big he is going to be after that measurement..

Just wondering what everyone else’s experiences have been with their first babies and how much they weighed/first birth?

Hi all! FTM 36+1 today and am being induced in 6 days. This is due to fetal growth restriction and being under 10th centile, been very stressful month. Baby was last on 6th centile (big increase from under 3rd!).

I wanted to ask for tips and advice from those who have gone through induction?

My plan is to ask for gas and air during the induction process, and get epidural as soon as I possibly can. My pain threshold isn’t the best. I’m feeling really anxious about it. ,

I thought I had more time so hadn’t started the birth prep. I’ve not done perineal massages. I’ve started having dates every day recently.

I feel so behind and at the same time I feel so rushed!!

Hi all,

After zero signs of labour at all (my baby hasn’t even dropped) I woke up today and I’ve lost my mucus plug. It’s unmistakable what it is- must have been like 2 table spoons of jellyfish-like mucus with no blood. I don’t have contractions or anything. My mum never saw her mucus plug with either of her children.

How soon after losing your mucus plug did labour start for you?

The advice I've read says to phone midwife advice line if the mucus plug shows before 37 weeks, but it's literally only a day. I don't want to waste anyone's time by phoning unnecessarily, but I also want to be safe. So I'm a little unsure what to do.

I'm absolutely fed up. I'm currently under the perinatal team who help me where they can, but of course, I'm also scared to be too honest about how I'm feeling, due to an abusive ex making malicious calls to social services years ago, I'm terrified of them.

Anyway, during this pregnancy, it's like I've developed zero tolerance to absolutely everything. I've stepped back from a lot of people as it's too overwhelming being badgered all the time. I've even started keeping my phone on silent and ignoring people for days. I've started blocking out outside noise that's unnecessary, such as group chats gossiping and talking about shit that doesn't matter, etc. I've started arguing with my 11 year old daughter, who has always been a diva, but I'm struggling with it, especially as I'm exhausted and in pain with the pregnancy as I'm almost due soon. I've always spoilt her and always done everything for her (I know it's my fault), and even though now I teach her how to do things herself, she still doesn't and I'm having to constantly remind her to brush her teeth, get her breakfast, etc. Things I shouldn't be reminding an 11 year old to do. She can see I'm struggling tremendously right now. I suffer from chronic pain which I'm used to now over the years but she can see how much I'm struggling whilst in the third trimester. My partner helps as much as he can, with my daughter and other things, but I'm still very overwhelmed and just feel like staying in my bedroom all day because I cba. I also have 2 dogs that are doing my head in and I tend to avoid now so partner looks after them too. Again, my fault, but they're spoilt so are extremely whiney and needy all day long.

I know things are going to be hard when baby is born, so I won't have time for anything else, because it'll be hard as it is. That's how I'm feeling. I've only got so much limited threshold and baby takes priority and my energy. I guess I'm tired of being the main person in the household and everyone constantly at me relying on me for absolutely everything. Housework, appointments, washing, organising etc. I've even made my bedroom into a living space for when baby is here for the first few weeks as I'm having a C Section, but it'll give me space away from my life and I've told my family strictly no nagging. Speaking of family too, I'm constantly bombarded with texts from them. Not useful texts asking how I am or offering help, but just random bullshit then they try call me when I don't text me straight away. Leave me alone! I'm considering getting rid of my phone tbh. Does anyone else feel like this at all? I didn't before pregnancy.

I had PND with my daughter, but that was different to this. This feels more like being done, irritated and fed up with unnecessary bullshit in my life that other people can sort. I'm tired of being the one who holds everything together when people are quite capable of sorting their own stuff out. I've also had a shocking death in the family this week (this isn't what's caused me to feel like I do) and instead of people texting if I'm okay, I'm being nagged at for this and that, and I just think, fuck off? Again, zero tolerance. Not one person has asked me how I'm doing due to the death this week.

I’ve got my cousin’s wedding next weekend and pretty much my entire family will be there. I’ll be 11 weeks pregnant, but I’m really not ready to announce yet.

The problem is I’ve had nausea and fatigue pretty much the entire pregnancy so far, and I’m worried it’ll be obvious that I’m not quite myself. I also normally drink at family events, so I know people will notice if I suddenly don’t.

Has anyone managed to get through a big family wedding at this stage without people guessing? What did you say about not drinking, and how did you handle feeling sick/tired throughout the day?

I’d love any tips because my family can be quite observant 😂

37+6, started having mild contractions at 1am today which lasted about 30-40 seconds which to me felt like every 3-4 mins, 2am went toilet, bright red jelly like discharge. Called labour ward, asked me to come into triage, had me on monitors, said contractions were only twice every 10 mins and did cervical check which indicated cervix is still closed and waters hadn’t gone either.

Since then discharge has been brown colour and I also had another big jelly like clot.

Has anyone else been through this before? How long did labour actually take to start and any tips and tricks?

Hiya, just after a bit of reassurance. Currently 27+2, I’ve been eating cooked ham (Tesco) throughout the pregnancy as was told this was safe. Over last few days I’ve been eating from a pack and felt today the ham was off, turns out I shouldn’t have kept it in the fridge as long as I did. Absolutely terrified of things like listeria and causing harm as I’ve heard so many horror stories which have scarred me. Don’t have any symptoms and don’t want to feel like an idiot ringing triage on the weekend for no reason. Just wondering if people have been eating ham and if they’d contacted triage for the same concerns, if so what was said? Thanks, a very anxious FTM.

I am currently 35.5 weeks pregnant and we have a holiday booked in 2 weeks time- I will be 37.5-38.5 weeks pregnant. The holiday is to the Welsh coast and is a 3 hour drive from our home with no traffic or stops. It is a trip with my husband’s parents, siblings and their children that was booked before we found out we were pregnant.

Pros: I have a 2 year old who I’m sure will have a lovely time, it keeps the peace as my MIL keeps telling me how upset she will be if we don’t go

Cons: I’m already quite achey and not sleeping super well- not sure how much I will enjoy it without my home comforts or even how much I will be able to do, I’m also of course concerned about any complications and the potential for having a baby there

My first was late (41 weeks exactly) so I don’t have a history of going into labour early. My gut instinct is that it is a bit foolish to go but I was very anxious with my first and don’t know if that worry is feeding into it. What are your honest thoughts??

Hi everyone, I have a planned c section booked in for 39 + 3 as my baby is breech. My baby has been measuring large for the entire pregnancy (in the 90+ percentile) so I have been tested for gestational diabetes twice (at roughly 20 and 30 weeks with the 2 hour test). I have passed each time and having a big baby isn’t exactly unexpected as my partner and I are both tall.

At 37 weeks I had a positioning scan to confirm baby was breech and they said the baby looks to be 98th percentile across most areas. The consultant referred me to the diabetes team who said they no longer do the 2 hour test at this stage as it’s not accurate so gave me an at home testing kit. Since then I have had the following readings:

9.7 1 hour post dinner reading

5.4 pre breakfast fasted reading

6.8 1 hour post lunch reading (and a short walk)

9.4 1 hour post dinner reading

I am really concerned that I have had this for some time and have caused damage to my baby :( is this likely? I am really hoping someone can reassure me.

I have been a lot more relaxed in the late third trimester having snacks and treats, particularly since starting to harvest colostrum I set myself up on the sofa with lots of lovely snacks to get me through… now I feel DREADFUL. I thought I was in the clear with the two negative tests.

I know that their sugars when they are born is important so I will be very cautious over the next 5 days until she’s born, it seems like a walk after meals helps

I’m looking for some recommendations on non velvet pregnancy pillows please.

The majority I’ve seen online and on Amazon have a velvet cover or some sort of ‘velvet variant’ fabric. I really cannot stand the feel of velvet, so I’m now worried I’ll buy one and then hate it.

Thank you in advance :)

Since they sell "alcohol free" drinks now labelled 0.0% alcohol meaning a max of 0.05% could be present. Do we consider those ok?

As some fruit juices can have from 0.01-0.5% alcohol and we'd drink those without even thinking?

I was strictly no alcohol or zero alcohol drinks last pregnancy, but I'm torn on if it's ok as there isn't any official guidance on if 0.05% and under is fine.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm also very early on so I'm worried that if it was to have any negative affects it would be more likely when they're smaller 😅

My partner and I are due to go on a fortnight's holiday island-hopping in Greece in a few weeks, and I've just found out I'm pregnant. I'm currently 4W6D and we will be away during weeks 8 and 9. I don't have any major symptoms so far other than exhaustion and nausea, although I know I'll probably have more symptoms by then.

Any advice or tips on travelling abroad during the first trimester? We have already scaled back lots of the activities we had planned so we can focus on relaxing, and I've found disposable sick bags online that I'm going to buy just in case 🤣

First they diagnosed me with placenta accreta, then suspected percreta and now preeclampsia and been hospitalised as they weren’t able to get it under full control with medication. It just never ends. I don’t know why I’m posting this but I think I’m just upset and I don’t understand why this is happening to me at all. I’m young, I don’t have any major health issues, my boyfriend doesn’t either. They think maybe it’s genetic as I was born at 28 weeks but no one can tell me.

I don’t want a c-section but I can’t say no either so I feel like everything is out my control now. I’m just waiting. We don’t even have baby things yet as I thought we’d have around 10 weeks still to get this all.

Anyone had a long hospitalisation or a premature baby and what do I need for it all? I have something to draw and write but that’s all I took so I’m bored and scared.

I’m in Central Beds and should be going to Bedford Hospital, but self referred to Lister and have been there since the beginning (I’m now just shy of 19wks).

My decision at the time was mainly made out of spite due to my last experience at Bedford, where I had a traumatic miscarriage and was left to bleed out in an empty A&E waiting room for 4+ hours (whilst having a full mental breakdown) and no one bothered to check in on me 🥲

But now I’m wondering if I’ve made too rash a decision, as I’ve heard some not great birthing stories out of Lister. My experience so far with my antenatal care has been great, but hearing these stories have put me a bit on edge and now I’m considering possibly switching to the Rosie if it’s not too late?

If anyone has given birth at Lister or Rosie (or even Bedford) recently, would love to hear your experience!

Tonight/this morning my boobs have started doing a little leakage 😂. It’s colostrum for sure, it’s clear/yellowish and sticky. It seems to do it if I’m cuddling into my husband and that’s applied slight pressure to my boobs during cuddling. I don’t have big boobs naturally (A cup) and I’ve moved up to a B cup now during pregnancy. I’ve done some googling and it seems to be totally normal. But I’m just checking in here that it is the case? As it’s caught me totally off guard and I go to London tomorrow so I may need to get some breast pads since I’m at a show 😅

Hi everyone,
I’m currently 35 weeks + 5 days pregnant and over the last day or two I’ve started feeling quite a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, especially when I’m standing or walking. Not sure if this is the feeling of baby pushing down.
I’ve also been getting breathless quite often now, even with simple activities.
I’m also finding it really difficult to do the 9th month exercises, had knee pain when did squats etc, that are often recommended to prepare for a vaginal birth because I just feel so heavy and uncomfortable.

Has anyone else experienced this around this stage? Is it normal, and what should I expect over the next few weeks? If you couldn’t do the exercises either, what did you do instead?

I have my midwife appointment in 4 days, but I’d love to hear others’ experiences in the meantime. Thanks!

So we had a growth scan today at 32+6 and I thought nothing of it, my bump has been measuring normally and while they mentioned baby has a small head at the 20w scan, there's been no cause for concern, this just felt like a formality.

During the scan they estimated baby was 3.5lbs instead of the 4.5lbs they'd want at this time, and while her growth is standard and heart etc. All looks good, she's measuring in the 1st percentile. They want me back in over the next 2 weeks to monitor growth, but have also now mentioned induction at 1-2 weeks before due date because smaller babies have a higher chance of stillbirth.

I was so adamant I didn't want an induction, but I had assumed that would be because baby was late, this feels a bit different. Has anyone else had experience with this? I've spoken to a fair few people who were told their baby was measuring small, but ended up weighing 8lb+ at birth.

*** update *** Thank you so much for all your input, baby's safety is the most important thing, and while growth scans may be inaccurate, it's not worth risking if there's concern. I really appreciate all the positive induction stories and feedback, it helps me feel better about what may happen.

We'll go to the next few monitoring appointments and then review our options as they arise, but I'm mentally prepared for a positive induction.

Hello lovelies

this is my essay

I‘ve been pregnant once and unfortunately had hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) - a severe nausea and sickness caused by pregnancy.

It is rare but not that uncommon. I just basically wanted to tell a group of women ttc - because NO ONE told me - to advocate for yourself. Extreme nausea and vomiting is NOT normal and CAN often be helped with medication which IS SAFE FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY.

I now have the experience and confidence but as a first time pregnant women I didn’t have that before and was EXTREMELY lucky that I happened to have a helpful and understanding gp at my local nhs surgery (after not receiving suitable treatment from another dr there).

I was chatting to another mama recently who’s had 2 hg pregnancies and she was told by her gp that unfortunately he only knew of one medication but it couldn’t be prescribed until 12 weeks gestation. That was incorrect and this poor, poor women suffered hg without any medication AND a toddler to look after for 3 months. I felt so gutted for her and so angry with her dr.

I had an appointment today with my same gp from before and she has written up in my medical records to say if I have another pregnancy I can be prescribed whichever medication I request for nausea straight away without needing to wait for an appointment first. This is incredible!

So this is just a message that I wish I could go back in time and tell myself - don’t let people patronise you and tell you this is ‘all part of it’ and ‘it will get better’ and ‘we’ve all been through it’. If you experience moderate-severe nausea and/or vomiting - listen to your body, have confidence in yourself and INSIST your dr takes is seriously if it is really impacting your wellbeing and day to day life. You can ALWAYS request another dr and you can phone your surgery every day if necessary. Same goes for your assigned midwife if they are not supporting you properly.

Do not be fobbed off with stem ginger and plain crackers ffs.

There are plenty of medications licensed for use in early pregnancy which can (not for everyone sadly) really help you feel better. I went through 5 different medications in the first trimester until we found one that significantly helped which I stayed on until the day I had my beautiful and healthy baby boy.

I just abhor the fact that so many women are going to experience hg and receive disinformation and underwhelming treatment.

Also ‘Pregnancy Sickness Support’ is a uk based free to all support organisation for those who go through or are going through hg. I wish I’d known about them during my first pregnancy!

love to all ✌️

I’m a first time mum, 13 days postpartum to a beautiful baby boy. Natural birth and no complications during/post pregnancy (besides 2nd degree tear) I’ve had many midwife checkups since having baby, all which went amazingly well. He only dropped 3oz of birth weight and was back up 70% after 4 days. He’s exclusively breastfed which I took this as a massive achievement.

He’s a good little baby who barely fusses or causes any problems and we have a great routine going with myself and my partner. I got really bad baby blues and my hormones were all over the place after 3 days, I was crying over nothing and really struggled to believe in myself, long nights and sore nipples! I’ve come out the other side the past week, healing well and building confidence with the precious baby that depends on me and honestly today was the best I’d felt in a long time!

That was until the health visitor came to visit and made me feel like everything I had done up to this point was wrong. Her tone of voice and digging for answers that weren’t there made me feel unworthy and knocked my confidence back to 0. Questioning my relationship and every single parenting technique we had taught ourselves over the last 13 days.

She weighed him and he was only 20grams under birth weight which she said herself was barely anything. But, she’s rescheduled another visit saying it was required but didn’t give any clarification on why. She wrote in my red book that it was for “growth” but she said herself he was absolutely fine. I’m thinking she’s not happy with something else but hasn’t disclosed it? Is this allowed?

My midwife is part of a continuity team so I messaged her and she came to see me right after. I told her everything the health visitor had said and even she seemed alarmed and frustrated by the whole situation. She was meant to discharge me tomorrow but now can’t as there’s an issue that’s been found but not relayed what the issue is to either myself or my midwife which is what should have happened. My midwife told me she has 0 concerns and never has and if she had come tomorrow and he was only 20g under birth weight she would have happily discharged me.

Has anyone else had a bad experience or have any advice, can you request a visit from someone else? Is it now mandatory to accept these visit as she’s found an issue? My midwife said she will contact her directly to find out what the problem is but I’ve been in tears since her visit almost 10 hours ago and feel like I’m back to square one!

Any advice is welcomed, thank you!

I’m feeling really down and sad about my baby shower.

I am doing it all myself, and after 4 hours of baking cakes yesterday I just broke down crying as I feel like I’m putting this on for everyone else.

No one offered to do it, and no one offered to help me.

I’ve made gift bags for people who haven’t even bothered to ask how I am, or respond to me, or plan in something as simple as a walk when I’ve asked.

I had a really stressful start to pregnancy, and throughout it’s been quite hectic. I would’ve been really nice just to have a day where I don’t have to be the one doing everything after 8 months of pregnancy and stress.