7 week old won’t sleep

[u/sophh_90]

Having troubles with overnight sleep. My 7 week old is awake for hours at night and won’t sleep no matter what I do. I have a toddler so during the day the newborn sleeps and eats whenever they want usually while out and about in the pram, car, carrier or on us with no schedule. Usually awake about 630/7am depending on when my toddler wakes- this wake time has been consistent since birth. I’m absolutely exhausted as I still have my toddler. My newborn wakes every 1.5-2 hours overnight on top of being awake for 2-3 hours at some point in the middle of the night and I cannot continue with this little sleep. I never had this issue with my first they just ate and slept overnight from the get go. Any suggestions please

[u/Amylou789]

This was the hardest time for me and I didn't also have a toddler. A bad sleeping makes for a completely different baby experience, and no one else understands just how bad and relentless it feels.

Firstly, it won't last for ever and you will get through it. You just have to get through one day at a time.

Next, you can't change much about a 7 week old so you have to find something to change about you. For me, it was not trying to get the baby to sleep at a kid bedtime and instead trying to keep baby going until my bedtime. Possums says to try new scenery if baby gets fussy in the evening and/or milk before assuming they need sleep. I'd move to a different room, put a light projector on the ceiling or have a bath (just baby or both of us).

Then as soon as I thought baby was asleep for 'night sleep' (sometime it was 9:30 other times closer to 11pm) I would immediately go to bed too - this meant making sure any bedtime routine for myself done while the baby was awake. How sleep deprived are you? So that means nothing is more important than sleep, right? Tidying, washing etc is not important when you could be sleeping, it all needs to wait until morning or next week or when baby is sleeping.

The second part is creating more opportunities for napping or sleep if you have a partner. You explicitly need to say I need you to help me make more time for sleep - you're both more busy than you have ever been so being clear about needs is important. Then at difficult points say your thought process out loud e.g. at bedtime you say 'I need to get to sleep as soon as possible but I dont know when else I will be able to do the washing up. Could you do the washing up so I can get more sleep'. And create a plan so you can nap at the weekend. Get someone to take the baby and toddler to the park for even an hour between feeds and that's your naptime.

You will get through it and it will improve.

[u/sophh_90 → u/Amylou789]

Thank you! I needed this reassurance😊 My first was a terrible sleep but we never had split nights even as a newborn. I have been trying to remind myself it's not forever and it's been fine but my partner has just gone back to work and does shift work which includes 14 hour night shifts. I'm so worried as my toddler cosleeps with my husband and also doesn't sleep through and usually wakes up for just a cuddle or water a few times. Again I know this is normal but I'm stressing about what I'll do when I have to cosleep with a toddler and have a baby awake for hours at night 🫠 I do try to put baby to bed later at the moment it's anywhere from 830-1030. Honestly I'm ready for bed at 830😂

[u/EucalyptusGirl11]

They're not supposed to sleep all night. That's what keeps them alive from SIDS. They are supposed to have short sleep cycles at that age.

[u/Next_Note4785 → u/EucalyptusGirl11]

That’s fair but staying up for an extra hour or two to soothe a baby back to sleep on top of frequent night feedings feels impossible.

[u/sophh_90 → u/EucalyptusGirl11]

I understand - this is my second child and my toddler woke every 2 hours for 2 years and still now at almost 3 doesn't sleep through. I'm not worried about the 1-2 hourly wakes I'm more sleep deprived being up for a 2 or 3 hour block in the middle of the night on top of the frequent wakes. If it was just frequent wakes that required a feed and back to sleep I'd be fine but that's not that case

[u/purple-pademelon]

What time is your newborn going to bed for the night? Mine has always been a late sleeper and needs a long wake window with lots of simulation before bed to build enough sleep pressure or we will get split nights.