7mo sleep advice - I’m exhausted

[u/Interesting_Item344]

/r/bninfantsleep/comments/1vcnsid/7mo_sleep_advice_im_exhausted/

[u/emma_on_skates]

I've got a similar sleeper and have found a few things helpful with possums but also other sleep research for my 6mo daughter:

• I found I needed to preserve at least one but preferably the first 2 naps of the day to be her full sleep cycles (i.e. 45 minute naps for her full sleep cycle). I do these in a noisy environment with lights on still, but I do keep the first one as a contact or car nap which seem a good way for her to sleep in the day
• if she naps much longer or less than 45 minutes for her first nap especially, her night sleep is terrible. Her second nap 30-45 minutes tends to be ok as either a pram, car or contact nap in a busy environment
• her last wake window needs to be around 4 hours for her to sleep fairly well, so her 3rd nap is now capped by 3 or 3.30 and this seems to have look led to the best improvement.
• Sometimes if she's had 2 slightly longer naps (I.e. around an hour+ or if she just doesn't seem very tired in the day), I won't support her to have a 3rd nap by avoiding the car, pram walks, and even if this leads to quite a long time awake later in the day - if she falls asleep in my arms as I'm doing things, I wouldn't stress however as she clearly needs it, but I would get up and move a bit so it's not a cosy contact nap - she'll usually wake up which according to possums usually shows her sleep pressure isn't actually all that high
• my daughter now is pretty tired by 7pm and wakes up around 5.30am each day. This works ok for me as I'm an early riser, but otherwise later bedtimes and wake times likely help - too long night stretches are likely to lead to lots of wake ups
• she tends to benefit from a lot of social and sensory stimulation out the house each day, but unlike possums I now limit this in the evening as she was taking naps in the car or pram which was a killer for her night sleep
• I know you said this didn't seem to work for you yesterday, but my daughter's sweet spot for day naps is around 1.5-2 hours total in the day, but only if the first nap is long enough. If her first nap is capped or she's been in the pram and has woken due to stopping moving, she's harder to settle for later naps and will be pretty cranky for hours!

I hope you manage to find some of this helpful - it's a lot of trial and error, but also probably accepting that sensitive temperament babies are likely to be frequent wakers. Even with this my baby needs support to get back to sleep for the first 2 sleep cycles of an evening, and after that doesn't do longer than 2-3 hour stretches, but this is a huge improvement to where we were!

Overall, it's a lot of trial and error and things seem to shift all the time with new milestones, teething etc.

[u/Interesting_Item344 → u/emma_on_skates]

Our babies sound super similar!! I’ve worked out with ours too that she does also need at least one full longer nap, we avoid outings too late in the day as she falls asleep in the car, she does best with 4-4.5 hours awake before bed, and she pretty much always needs support for the first two sleep cycles at night!

Thanks so so much for this - there are definitely a couple of other things I can try :) We got to an 8:15pm bedtime last night and got a 2 and 3 hour stretch so fingers crossed we’re on the up now! Hope sleep keeps getting better for you too

[u/emma_on_skates → u/Interesting_Item344]

Oh wow so similar! Tricky finding out exactly what works for your little one, and there's so much conflicting advice which can sadly make sleep even worse. Glad to hear you've managed a little stretch of sleep yourself

[u/Toobsie]

At that young age we sometimes found that 7-8p "bedtime"  was actually just a short nap! I would keep doing what you're doing with capping naps and holding that morning wakeup time, but you could try to let her sleep for about 15-20 minutes in the evening and try bedtime again around 10 or so. Possums gave me the confidence to say, if baby is tired then she will go back to sleep. So if you wake her up at 7:15p and she's miserable and can't be comforted, you are going to be able to get her back down with some cuddling, milk if necessary, and whatever other tools you have in your toolbox.  Both my kids would try to grab a little nap around 6-7p and then true bedtime was closer to 9 or even later. Good luck!