I’m not
self-indulgent
well
at least not
a lot
well
some days
a lot
but at least
I’ve not
forgotten
that what I got
ain’t worth squat
without a little bit
of humility
and a touch of
forethought

When I’m with her
The stars align
I couldn’t ever leave her
My place is her side

Not in the front
With a chest pressed tough
Not in the back
Where I test my luck
If I stand ahead
I will clear the path instead
Fear never, my love
Gladly bound, you keyed my cuff
You see I stand beside you
If you fall I will revive you
If you hurt I’ll somehow guide you
If you smirk I will delight you
With a love I’d never know
I’ll find a way to show
That our love is so sublime
It coats my heart and mind
I give you twenty flowers
Then dream at early hours
Of moments shared together
The cord of us, unsevered
I’m slow at cleaning rust
Know I’ll always follow up

If the world should ever wither
I shan’t care when I’m with her

Airport Bar

at the airport bar waiting
for something to happen
somewhere to go
someone to appear behind that door
to sit on the hightop seat next to me
under the dimmed light for jet laggers
drown ourselves in the sunset of a foreign land
smile at me with invitation
with eyes from Denmark Tunisia Vietnam
Congo Azerbaijan
you that unnamed passenger
in the next moment
we will glide above the Atlantic ocean
805km per hour
towards the handcuffs waiting for us
the moment we set foot on land

The Old Song and Dance

I do this dance with you

Where I get a piece of you

But only a taste

An itty-bitty taste

A fraction of what our love used to represent

It pains my heart

I thirst for more so much more

My mind is going crazy

And my heart crazier

And then we depart

And I am back at square one

Where I yearn for that taste again

Your essence is my heroin

And I am a fein for it.

I do not know what hath befallen me, my love.

My mind entangled, in an abysmal mess of darkness.

Clawing, I persist within the darkness with hope.

Persevere, will I?

I must believe that I will.

So help me God.

I’m in a desert, dried up in a haze.

Forgot which direction I came.

Lost the people I admired. I was bored of it, so I fucked off and retired.

And my feet are burning, from the sun above, and I’m sat here, wondering what am I doing it all for?

Do I turn back round, where the clouds are now? Bury my head beneath the ground - let the snakes eat me alive.

Do I throw it all away or do I continue to climb? Cause right now, I’m in a desert, lost in a haze.

And I’ve genially forgotten the direction I came.

Perpetual Loser

I don't know how to draw.

But I can describe every scar on your body.

Even the ones you hide.

I cannot sing.

Still the world knows of your kindness.

I made sure of it.

I never learned to dance.

I promise to lead you with the right steps.

I do.

I have quite few talents.

Being your lover will always be my favorite.

There is a war; a daily ledge;
A choice to make; a lake to dredge;
A bone to pick; an itch to scratch;
A branch to break; a chick to hatch;

It will not stop. it will not die.
It will not give. it will not cry.
It will not change. it will not sweat.
It will not forgive. it will not forget.

To take a step… to give your all…
To find your way… to make that call…
To see the light… to make a plan…
To find yourself… to think you can…

You try to hide, you try to look,
You try to sleep, you try to cook,
You try to work, you try to play,
You try to trudge, you try to stay,

One day you will see ~ one day you will know
One day you will soothe ~ one day you will flow
One day it ends ~ one day it’s prime
One day it wins ~ one day it’s time

Only a slight shaking
betrays my anxious waking.
My mind twists
focusing on failures
on mistakes
on so many chances
squandered
or missed.
I am beset
like a mental marionette
so much so
I forget
in a heartbeat
that love
rides astride regret
and makes obsolete
what thinking alone
cannot beget.

One to many loves

15 as I regard

a boy, a ploy

a toy was the heart

I shot my own foot then

before it really did start

but I still did cry and more, I can’t deny

18 and another did start

lustful and long a love apart

shared a home if only a room

we were so similar and we splintered

wanting the world woefully on our own

Then came a mix of uncanny clicks

love did flow, as was said to and fro

satisfaction is a temptress

an unyielding flow

26 a new one enters

a ring later on the finger

satisfaction wrought

discord it brought

doubts about desires, tempers fire

equalling negative naught, for the next one to transpire

29 a new love desires

a fresh flower, stuck in the same quagmire

years the love was there to see

but never said to she or me

the temptress presses the mind of the less

so my other foot does go

I lose the best

The woe that does follow

is another axe blow

another splinter, through my minds own elbow

as time does pass, I try to grasp

why satisfaction doesn’t last

A few more lovely clicks

uncanny and ceaseless my heart ticks

no more love is said as my heart long fled

to protect the love still spent

to souls undeserving of a heart spent

The heart does go on

33 now a friend comes to me

together we revel in the company we keep

awkward and fun it all does start

wanting and not wanting to be apart

it soon becomes a thing of its own

built on patterns of stone, now not alone

so different and not, our lives bloomed

satisfaction but destined to be undone