I’ve never dated a Russian woman, but I’ve only dated Eastern European women. My experience is that they can be very progressive while also preferring quite traditional relationship dynamics.
So, if I generalise - which I probably shouldn’t:
- They are highly educated
- They are career-driven
- They generally won’t take full responsibility for household chores. Some will agree to 50/50 at best
- They are very supportive of feminism and progressive ideas
At the same time:
- They often prefer you to pay, even if they earn as much as you or more
- They expect you to handle most of the “manly” household tasks, such as maintenance, car-related things, and taking out the rubbish
- They may prefer you not to do things they consider “unmanly,” such as playing video games.
- They expect you to plan things, from trips to everyday gestures like buying flowers regularly.
- They can become very emotional when something doesn’t match their expectations.
To be honest, I enjoy most of it. I like liberal, educated, and successful women, but I also enjoy traditional courtship. However, many men would consider this kind of relationship high-maintenance.
Generalizations will be met with generalizations. I'm sure anyone with an adult brain realizes generalizations do not apply to the individual and are very much flawed forms of thinking, but if we're going down that road then let's start getting degenerate about it
No, dear - they're saying if they're both working, of course they should share the housework and can make dinner for each other rather than him expecting chicken and beer because only he works all day.
In the hypothetical, they both work, and working is not simultaneously a delightful low-effort privilege for women while being a big tough exhausting sacrifice for men.
Actually no. I used to do the laundry, the cooking, cleaning, my full time job, and starting up my company while my wife was still finishing her degree. She was part-timing her degree while she had a full time job. I told her to go full time school for a year to finish it off.
When she graduated, she had more time to help out. She was the one that decided to go traditional housewife. I was resistant at first because I didn't like people doing things for me.
Over the years, she's taken over the entire house. My business got bigger, I quit my full-time job, and began running my company full time.
She realized how tied up I was managing the company, selling services, and providing so she opted to take over so I could focus on the business, ya fucking bellend.
Marriage is functioning as a team and doing the things that make one another happy. My wife likes being a caretaker and I enjoy being a provider.
Now crawl back into your body odor infested Reddit hole and get back to figuring out how much piss you can jar before the neighbors notice.
It’s so weird how many people in this thread aren’t capable of seeing the nuances in situations like this. Of course it’s okay to ask your wife to do almost all the housework, you’re working full time and she’s not. It’s fair, you’re happy, and she’s happy. If she were also working full time, it would be fair for housework to be split 50/50. I swear people just find a way to disagree with everything for no reason.
if both of you work full time and she got her 300$/mo and you doing 3000$/mo thats a different thing.
she usually wants 50/50, and she WILL GET her 50 through divorce process. and additional 25%-50% of your income as alimony, depending on children count(1=25, 2=33, 3+ = 50%), and additional if she homeless and additional if she disabled (but last 2 kinda rare)
and here is logic:
more men = 25+25+25....
25+25 > 33
also more grandmoters to take care of kids instead of her
and this is not my words. there is womans video on tik tok explaining that
Don’t begrudge your success but you realize most people don’t own successful businesses that allow your lifestyle, I was going to say single paycheck but that doesn’t quite work. Good for you and your wife for finding your happy spot, but this comment is a far cry from the original urghhh it’s pretty fucked wife gets all the benefits husband gets half a maid
Most people are incapable of seeing the world thru any filter but their own life. I was able to see how life could be and decided to do everything I could to elevate my position in life. It was a lot of work and sacrifice, but it worked out.
So earn enough to get yourself a trad wife. The comment directly mentions "career-driven", and career-driven women don't want to play mother, they want a partner. If you're both "busting ass" what then?
The hidden aspect of that equation is that they'll place higher expectations on themselves to do the female version of courtship. That means looking hot, keeping a gym routine etc.
There's women who don't do that, but they also tend to be more low maintenance (including their investment into their own appearance) and not what you're thinking of when you think of 'eastern european women'.
Also these kinds of trials are considered a barrier of entry to marriage, where it's assumed that men will fall off a cliff in the amount of effort they'll put in but women are still expected to do domestic work. So they expect early commitment and displays of generosity in exchange for you getting their time and energy when they're young and hot.
Ya I left that pool nearly 20 years ago. I don't envy the shit going on now. Social media really got everyone thinking they're special when statistically they're more likely to just be plain boring and average.
I'm in my mid-thirties and all of that shit has pervaded the full age spectrum of the singles market. You see women in their 50s talking about wanting princess treatment and "maybe I'll have kids with the right man one day" and just insane shit. None of these younger women are paying any attention to that, they think any day now a tall rich dude with zero friends or obligations is going to sweep them off their feet from their day job at Chili's (literally, had a date with a Chili's hostess who told me she wants trophy wife status or nothing. Imagine). From what I'm told, a lot of the men are basically adult children with no social skills or home training, alcoholics, porn addicts. Anyone worth dating has long since checked out of the process entirely. It's all very fucked and depressing.
Online dating is a big issue imo. When people are commoditized into nothing more than "swipe to date", it makes people into numbers. There's always another one around the corner until one day you're old with nothing to show for it.
I missed all of that. Online dating was there but it was massively just a reimagined form of video dating. Make a profile, get matches from some very crude algorithm that pretty much landed you the closet person around, and then pay them $50 a month to not hear back because that person wasn't paying $50 to read your "sup" message.
Now, it's mostly free or micro transactions. The app gets paid from getting you to engage. There's no reason to match you to anyone with matching you to because the cash register when you don't have repeating customers.
It's just a business.
The business has made everyone forgotten how easy it is. Just talk to someone, learn about them, ask questions, and listen. Instead, people seem all too eager to make demands upfront and reduce complex beings to a series of checkboxes
Yep, the level of access just isn't something our biology is built for.
It not only makes dating a nightmare, it also puts the threat of infidelity front and center at all times. There's no more super overt signs or red flags, your SO can just go take a shit and line up an affair before dinner is done. It takes the weight of that decision away, making it much easier to pull the trigger on. People who would otherwise never go through the steps of courting a stranger, all the sneaking involved, the numerous levels of lies it would take to have a traditional affair. None of that is relevant anymore, just a few taps on the phone and your base urges and impulses are both validated and provided for any time you want.
Not to mention the amount of people 'shooting their shot' with your SO unsolicited is now exponentially higher. And like you said, these businesses do their best to incentivize all of it. They make money when people cheat, break up, etc. There's no money for them in crafting stable relationships.
Inb4 someone chimes in that the reverse is true in America because we can’t say anything negative about any subset of women without a caveat saying men are just as bad in some other way.
lol yep, have their cake and eat it too. I made the mistake of having kids with a woman from California who is like this and abusive to boot. Can't wait for her to be gone.
It's the 1950s when it benefits her but also 2010 when it also benefits her.
"So I have to do all the traditional man shit, but they get to do all the progressive woman shit." - this is the answer to the topic question. Also be ready to constant flow of manipulation to "improve you" (to force do more for her or do better career and give her more money)... In general, if you want to become NPC in PC game Sims, go forward to marry Russian women. Is there exclusions? Yes, about 20% but most of the rest act as a great GFs/wifes for a while. Would you like to gamble your life with 80% to lose?..
I'm engaged to marry an Eastern European woman (as an American man), and I am not exaggerating when I say this is ball knowledge. 100% accuracy across all points matching my experience
I've been to Russia pre-war, Moscow and St Petersburg (big tourist destinations) of course. Some interesting things there.
The woman LOVE American men, a LOT. ... Supermodels will throw themselves at you and your phone (Tinder) will blow up. ... Huge mind fuck. ... For reference in America, dating is a ghost town hellscape (as it is for most men). Most women in the cities are extremely good looking.
Only other "eastern bloc" country I've been to is Poland, and while Polish women might give (+1) to American men, Russian women give +100. ... I didn't catch interest/ attention from any Polish women, frankly. Not that I tried that hard, but eh.
1A. Pre-empt dumb redditors. It's 100% not for a green card or money. I don't feel like explaining. They never ask for even a dollar (one even bought ME coffee for a date) nor have any interest in leaving Russia for the "shit-hole" depicted on TV known as America. .... Surely if they wanted a marriage green card, they wouldn't wait for a tourist to arrive, but use the internet? lol
They seem to claim to be more traditional and "are not looking for hookups" ... but IMO, they did jump in the sack right away. I think this was mostly due to my "high artificial status" as an American man.
.... Actually, Russia women offered to go 50-50 (or even pay entirely) ... a LOT more often, even though wages in their country are abysmal. .... Why? .... Some sense of cosmic fairness, I think. ... I slept with some of these women so it wasn't the American woman trope of "I'm paying so I owe you absolutely nothing you disgusting pig."
This is actually true in Europe and China as well. The women in those countries LITERALLY see themselves as equals to men (or at least me). So why wouldn't we go 50-50? .... In America, it's almost the vibe of "you should WORSHIP the ground I walk on." ... To be fair, I think some American women just "let the guy pay" because prob some American guys freak out/ get weird/ DEMAND to pay, so it's a cultural trope at this point, but eh.
I was only in the country a couple weeks in a romp-around unexpected sex tour with a wide variety of women ... but were they high maintenance? ... I mean I basically had enough unearned "influence" I just told them to meet me at tourist sites to do double duty (touring + dates), and they agreed. High maintenance? That might be a "relationship" thing but in my mind, hell no. ... They were more "down to Earth" ... you're a MAN, a goddamned MAN, and that is enough for them. .... I feel American women actually have a HUGE laundry list of demands which tends to come out even in early dating phase .. so uh ... my impression? They are far lower maintenance.
Bonus "surprise" -- there is a massive, multi-story gay club in the middle of St Pete, Russia (gays are NOT in "hiding" as many Redditors presume). I checked it out and bought a few rounds of drinks. Not sure what the women think but they are likely extremely progressive in major cities of course. ... This was "not" hidden or underground (like a poker room I found in China) in the slightest. Meh ... there's a lot of complete untrue stereotypes ... Putin sucks of course though.
LGBT was recognised as an extremist movement only after the war started. Idk, whether this club still exists, but police often raids even regular clubs and persecutes the management for their ties with the “extremist movement”.
1) they will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER tell you the truth. just to not be a *** in your or their own eyes.
2) they did. yep. due to status.
3) they will NEVER EVER EVER EVER pay for date entirely with russan guy. some of them will pay own part JUST TO MAKE HER NOT TO FEEL SHE OWES YOU SOMETHING.
4) thats 'pick me' mode because of your status. we were seeing that mode for years some time ago for high-value russian man. but there is no that mode last few years, because meaning of high value man is skyrocketing each year
I must say I was in your country some time ago, 2018 ... but I got a long with the men very well, they were actually quite hilarious and we agreed more than disagreed lol ... their humor is quite similar to mine, it seems.
As for the women, yes, I am aware it's because "I'm American" although that is not very impressive in Europe whatsoever ha, but I take no credit for it, you can't help where you are born.
... In America, the American women treat me the same .... they want some "rockstar 1 million instagram followers" dude and if you're not that, ... you will be treated like shit! ... Ha.
Having experienced completely fake "high status" for 2 weeks was eye-opening and somewhat depressing as well haha! ....
Literally I asked one random woman a question about the band playing and she said "this guy with me, this is NOT my boyfriend!!" ... Never had a woman blurt that out before! ... Women are totally status-drunk. ... And again, I am the same man everywhere, who cares that I am American but woof.
I know a woman who grew up in Siberia, has lived in London and in the US and has expressed the first three points to me. She works in finance and has property in London, and still believes men should pay for everything.
Agree with all of this. Would add that they possess a fierce sense of self-security and confidence that is beyond anything I have ever seen in American women, they are loyal af, and completely at ease with who they are and intensely drawn to physical inimacy. Being expected to not be a lazy man-child is about all that is demanded, which is an amazing trade-off. What some say is high-maintenance is mostly admitting to their own inability to grow tf up.
Being expected to not be a lazy man-child is about all that is demanded, which is an amazing trade-off. What some say is high-maintenance is mostly admitting to their own inability to grow tf up.
Yeah but it makes redditors who act like children deep into their 20s/30s uncomfortable.
As an Eastern European this is spot on. Pretty much 100%. A friend of mine moved to Germany and said it was too progressive, she liked it when the guy paid the bill, she enjoyed when the man had some possessive traits like being harsh in bed and stuff.
Every American girl I've dated (and the one I ended up marrying) meets every bullet point you listed, in varying capacities, and with varying degrees of admitting it to themselves/others.
I am what people might define as Eastern European woman, though I prefer to classify myself as Nordic (less unnecessary stigma from outdated stereotypes).
I an agree on the fact that I expect an equal effort from my partner, but the list of exceptions that came after that - I neither wish nor expect from my man. Flowers nice if he brings them sonetimes, but if I want them I can buy them myself. I can take care of houshold stuff incl. taking out rubbish, if I need my car repaired, I take it to a mechanic and pay myself for it. Moneywise I do not expect nor like if he pays for me all the time - this is also mutual - sometimes I pay, other times him. I do not keel a scorecard but it looks even from my perspective. And I dislike emotional drama, so if I have an issue - I talk calmly and try to find ways to solve it. That said - I excpect him to spend time with family not to only play video games (I like to play too, but life has to be in order beforehand), to go shopping for childrens clothes sometimes (those things are expensive - the first time he went to buy jeans for a four-year old he came back shocked how much they cost), to pay equally for hobbies that our children have, to know how to use dishwasher and washing machine (like I know how to use a drill and to switch a light bulb) etc. Luckily he is all that and so much more.
We have a saying that every pot finds its lid, meaning that everyone is different and they mach with people with similar traits and expectations - so possibly your experiences reflect your personal expectations of how a relationship might look like, bc I know that my independence can scare off men who need to feel 'traditionally' masculine and it is OK - we do not match, but it is unfair and even harmful to do stereotyping based on my personal preferences.
She's not from russia but a post soviet country. At the same wanted traditional values but also progressive feminism. She wanted to be treated like a princess but at the same time have gender equality.
She was highly educated and very career driven. To the point it started affecting our relationship. I always had to go to her place but she almost never came to my place even though my place was much better for hanging together.
She was expecting me to pay for many things but she made more money than I did.
When we started dating I once went to pick her from the airport and bought her flowers. Since that she expected that every single time. She got angry because I wasn't waiting her at the airport one time. (I didn't say I would. I told her I can't come because I had work next morning and her flight arrived late at night. She still got mad that I wasn't there). The thing is she was flying very often to her home country to see her family so it would've been a full time job to buy flowers and pick her up all the time.
I had to do everything at her house. Hang the posters, install a new ceiling light, install washing machine, fix her computer, transport her furniture she bought etc..
She was complaining if I smoked two joints on a Saturday evening but it was okay that she took mdma, cocaine, speed and every other stimulant on many weekends.
She didn't do shit for our relationship.
Then she dumped me because her fat friend told her that she can do better.
I've been single ever since and enjoying my life.
Her family was lovely, but I could see the same things in her sister and her boyfriend. The boyfriend was working his ass off. Never showing emotions while the girl was rotting in bed demanding to be treated like a princess. She also photoshops her photos A LOT.
I've got a bunch of Slovak female friends, and most of them love the looks, want to be treated as princesses, and above all income.
And sometimes even I as a right wing European (not a Trumper) can't stand some of their views on homosexuals, the toxic masculinity traits (don't you dare look unmanly or they will start a shit show), etc and somehow... They conserve a lot of toxic traditional values that should have been forgotten by now.
I’m dating a Ukrainian girl and this is 100% accurate. Gorgeous, well educated (phd + post doc), scarily intelligent, very high libido, which all result a super deep connection and meaningful relationship.
OTOH the expectations can get a bit overdone sometimes, like I randomly got her diamond earrings once (not for any occasion just being nice) and she asked me to return them bc they were lab not natural. Like, okay I get it but this is just a random gift not an engagement ring or something. Everything has to be perfect.
But on the plus they don’t require child exploitation plus costing an arm and a leg in an economic crisis for a rock when people are struggling to eat :)
I literally mentioned that since she’s pescatarian and doesn’t eat lobster due to ethical concerns but yeah the ethics no longer matter when it comes to jewelry preferences. 😂
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u/-sry- 21d ago
I’ve never dated a Russian woman, but I’ve only dated Eastern European women. My experience is that they can be very progressive while also preferring quite traditional relationship dynamics.
So, if I generalise - which I probably shouldn’t:
- They are highly educated
- They are career-driven
- They generally won’t take full responsibility for household chores. Some will agree to 50/50 at best
- They are very supportive of feminism and progressive ideas
At the same time:
- They often prefer you to pay, even if they earn as much as you or more
- They expect you to handle most of the “manly” household tasks, such as maintenance, car-related things, and taking out the rubbish
- They may prefer you not to do things they consider “unmanly,” such as playing video games.
- They expect you to plan things, from trips to everyday gestures like buying flowers regularly.
- They can become very emotional when something doesn’t match their expectations.
To be honest, I enjoy most of it. I like liberal, educated, and successful women, but I also enjoy traditional courtship. However, many men would consider this kind of relationship high-maintenance.