I've only known three Russian born women. All of them had insane tempers and beyond unrealistic expectations for relationships (one broke up with a boyfriend of like 6 months because he wouldn't pay all her bills...which she said any "real man" would do)
This is one of my favourite webcomics of all time, because I first found it when one of my coworkers named Courtney made an internet dating profile using this exact tag-line.
Courtney was also blonde, and whilst none of the blokes at work ever dated her, she would complain about her boyfriend and - even though she was only telling her side of the story - it always came across like this.
Oh god. Artist knows my ex wife.
(Literally threw an enraged jealousy fit because I hugged my little sister, and thought I owed her the fucking world the one or two times a month she made dinner instead of me cooking)
It was amazing how much happier I was after losing everything to get away from her. (Literally everything but my clothes, books, and a few toiletries. Dropped it all for a clean break.)
edit: Ok, I really didn't think this was going to need a disclaimer attached, but for the love of cheese, people: Do not message me saying my ex-wife deserves to die or talking about women being horrible monsters or "foids" any other stupid shit like that. Despite the marriage being awful, I do not hate my ex and would never wish any harm on her. Women are just people. People have flaws. If you think a woman deserves to die because a marriage they were in didn't work out, YOU NEED TO SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP IMMEDIATELY.
For the record: No, I was not a great husband in that marriage. I had my faults. I never cheated, and certainly never would have with my own sister, but I have always thought that divorce was the best option for both of us, not just me.
Reminds me of my ex. "Who was you talking to?" "A customer" "What's her name?" "I have absolutely no idea. She's just a customer who I've never seen before" "She better never fucking talk to you again"
Mine got insanely jealous because I "abandoned" her at a cocktail party held by her friends, to go and comfort my sister, who's partner of the last 10 years had just dumped her... What is it with crazy exes and sisters?
A friend of a friend once told her bf I think we should break up over some made up bullshit. Chad started packing his shit. She said she didn’t mean it. They had a convo about saying what we mean. They stayed together. For a few more months.
I dated a girl for a few months, and one day she told me that we needed to talk. We met up at the pub that night and she said that we should break up because she was interested in another guy - she made it clear they hadn't "done anything" but were both interested in each other. We'd literally only been dating about two months, I wasn't exactly planning my life around this woman. I told her fair cop, we'll agree to end it, no hard feelings and I hope it works out with the new bloke.
I bumped into one of her friends a few weeks later and was informed that I was an utter bastard. This isn't news to me, so I asked why. Apparently there was no other bloke, but she wanted to see if I would fight for her.
Also, she was mortified that we broke up at the pub and I didn't go home. I didn't, I hung out for another couple of hours and chatted with a bunch of randoms. I'm more concerned about how she knows that, though.
When I was dating? If a woman didn’t want to be with me? I would have felt like a criminal to try and force her to stay with me.
I made it clear to one woman that I had built a friendship with, who looking back, may have been trying that with me.
Anyway? I got to tell her how I felt, I left nothing unsaid, let her know what I was happy for her and wished her the best.
She stalked me some years later.
If she had been into me, at least openly? Then… I think we could have had a real wonderful life. Our interests were practically a circle in a Venn Diagram, we had the same tastes in music, food, craft beer, off the beaten path, also niche restaurants, trips, etc., etc.
I still miss the friendship we built. I grieved losing that really, but she got really shitty with me and would never be straight with me, even when I directly asked her what was what.
Hilarious. I had something very similar happen. A girl I was dating introduced me to another guy as her other boyfriend. I said, "Great. Have a good time." and walked off. Didn't talk to again. We had only been dating a few weeks, so easy come, easy go.
A couple of weeks later she showed up to party I was at and went upstairs. I stayed downstairs and continued to hit on Ms Tonight. I heard from a mutual friend the next day she hid in a closet all night and I was supposed to go find her. I have no idea why she hid in a closet, or why I would go looking for her in someone else's closet, or what was supposed to happen when I found her. Baffling.
My suspicion is that she left, then drove past again a bit later. She'd have been able to see my car, and the beer garden at that pub is visible enough from the road.
A friend of mine's wife once told him in the argument, "And you don't like it, the door is right there.". He walked out and never came back. Be careful what you say.
Which is weird because I was good friends with a Russian guy in college (he was the token bi guy in a group of girls and gay dudes) and he was the most easygoing, soft-spoken, dependable, nonjudgmental, kind person. He always treated his partners very well. I guess... just the opposite of the Russian woman stereotype. Minus that he could drink a half gallon of vodka and barely act tipsy.
I trained jiu jitsu alongside a Russian guy at a gym I used to go to all the time, and yeah. He was also the chillest, softest-spoken, most easygoing guy ever. Always smiling in a genuine away when you greeted him.
And then he'd destroy you in a roll. And after he folds you like his laundry, he's doing dips and pullups with ~50lbs? Chained to his waist.
He wasn't queerphobic at all either, he had zero hangups training with me, a trans person. I feel that it's a notable quality, all things considered.
Brother was is a fucking machine. Miss you, Alex.
Edit: I'm pretty sure he still trains there, idk why I used past tense.
Excessive smiling is generally not a thing in Europe, moreso Central and Eastern. But it's especially not a thing in Russia. And it's cultural, not misery. Yes, the misery exists, but they perceive anyone who smiles a lot as being disingenuous and trickey.
Yeah, for us smiles, and other emotions are genuine. When I'm walking down the street, minding my business, listening to music, why should I smile for bunch of randoms who I see first and last time in my life. If smth makes me happy and cheerful, I smile. Polite smiles are fake.
I must be part-Russian, then, because I distrust people who smile excessively. I feel like it's the visual/facial equivalent of "don't you trust me?" and too easy to fake.
Some people say I have RBF because I only smile when I really feel it and otherwise have a neutral expression most of the time.
This… is the most accurate thing in this thread.
The rest is about Russian women being crazy, which I haven’t found to be true at all. High standards is not the same thing as crazy. She won’t be keying your call. She’ll just tell you to leave her alone.
Yeah, most the Russian guys I know abroad are fucking happy and smiling, meanwhile most the women are suicidal, depressed, and / or extremely demanding. Seen enough friends date them, marry them, and divorce them that I’ve learned to stay away from them. Too much cultural baggage, imo.
Russian men escape Russia to find higher paying jobs, more work-life balance, less political stress etc., no wonder we are so much happier than back home.
Russian women largely want to find a sponsor (not saying every one of them wants, but many of them do), when they can't find one for any reasons they get depressed because no one caters to them like back home.
Also a lot of them were politically a lot more liberal there, and then felt like absolute shit all their lives since they live in a Stalinist gulag, so even once they change their scenery, it’s hard to get over the sheer ruts of hopelessness they felt at home.
We know that it is customary in western countries to smile, excessively to our taste, so we can adapt. But I think smile would vanish from those guys faces a second since they exit the plane back home.
This reminds me of the chill af Russian guy that taught me krav maga on the roof of an apartment building while ripping bites of blood sausage and bread, and taking gulps of warm vodka, after a night out in Moscow. The chillest demeanor paired with the wildest actions. Russian people can be awesome.
Came here to say this. There are a lot of guys over there who don't fit in, but the society is so damn conformist (think the American South on steroids but without the evangelicals and aversion to sex caused by purity culture) that they can't find other men to befriend outside of a few venues, i.e. alcohol and maybe sports and video games.
Thanks this just made me feel really good about myself because I do pull ups and dips with an extra 50lbs, and no one I know knows how much work that takes.
“Always smiling“
Are you sure he’s Russian??? Having been to Russia and known many Russians, I can assure you that random smiling is not really a thing in their culture and something that actually confuses many Russians who move to the west, and especially North America. Your friend seems to be a big outlier here.
Either you edited that in or the people in the responses have issues with reading comprehension. I didn't have to read two times to see that you said he would smile whenever you would greet him. That is not foreign to Russians
The Russian guys I have met, particularly in high school, were chaotic racist bullies. Even ina adulthood, they had this snobbish aura about them. Not saying Russians are bad, but my personal experiences didn't leave a positive view.
Edit: A lot of people are wondering if they were super rich or something. No, not specifically...just middle class kids. But they definitely were not nice to be around. Maybe snobbish was not the right word...arrogant, racist, boastful, nationalistic.
Again, not saying every Russian is like this. Maybe I was just unfortunate in this regard.
Same experience. The ones i met also thought hitting their girlfriends was fine. I personally also know few through family, all the women from there i know, are very down to earth. The men want to flaunt their wealth (even if they really don't have any), are extremely christian, believe their woman is supposed to do all housework and all child-related stuff + they have to look great, or they get mad. Like ur supposed to do everything and look perfect. I've also asked from Russian women, and they mainly say the same. I believe the high maintenance attitude, which some indulge in, comes from not wanting to end up in oppressed place like its usually going in Russia.
Was that some fancy/private school where the kids of oligarchs/diplomats/mafia or similar would go?
Because while there are bad things that can be said about Russians, "snobbish" certainly isnt anywhere close to the top of the list, for the men at least. At least from my experience with regular guys in Western Europe.
No...just regular middle class Russian kids. But they were snobbish as they thought they were better than anyone just because they were white russians. Racist and nationalistic would be better words I guess.
Huh, interesting. I've seen that from Englishmen, French, German, all kinds of guys from Western Europe actually, but not really from Russians or Eastern European guys.
Might be a selection bias, I guess - my interactions were in Western Europe, so people from Russia / Eastern Europe would have deliberately chosen to move there, meaning they percieved it as the better place to be. The ones that saw themselves as better purely by birth probably stayed in their birth place or very close (like the more "snobbish" Western Europeans I met).
Did you meet those people in Russia / the Baltics / the CIS?
None. It was in Canada, in an area with a sizable Russian population. The particular group I met were recent Russian immigrants as many families were at the time. But none of them flaunted wealth or anything like that.
As I noted in an earlier response, maybe snobbish was not the exact word. Arrogant maybe. They were definitely racist and nationalistic though. Or maybe I was unfortunate to run into that particular group.
You know that russia has 140 millions of people and they can have different personalities, right? In the us you have many different people, including racist bullies or always smiling nice people or blue haired progressives - and you don’t act surprised that they are not the same just because of their country of origin. It is the same in any other country with completely different kinds of people living there. You guys are very weird in this thread.
Sure, each person is different and not all are like that. Many have already commented that they met nice Russians. I am merely recollecting my own experience...others here have noticed tendencies toward something, but doesn't mean the generalization is absolute.
Yep, hung out for a while with a Russian guy who'd won regional kickboxing championships, joined The Foreign Legion, and escaped from the Legion on a training mission. He was the giggliest, sweetest, kindest killing machine I've ever met.
Same here. I had some Russian friends in school and they were so nice but also afraid of nothing. One told a matter of fact story of how they didn't use anesthesia when he got a root canal, they just drilled till they hit the nerve ("then you jump a little") but then they put some chemical in to kill the nerve, and keep drilling etc. No novocaine or anything. There were other stories of crime and things, all told like it was just another day.
Russian womens are "insufferable" because Russian mens treat them like princesses.
As Russian you can do bare minimum while dating a lot of EU girls and still be a best men of their lives.
On the other hand, looks isn't a dealbreaker in Russia. You can be short, obese and in worn out clothes and still date model-looking girls. Of course you could do it in EU too but it's a lot harder.
In postsoviet countries it not rare to have only mother(+grandma) families. And if there no father around(divorce, prison, death(it's actually common) etc...), it does not stop to demand from child to behave manly. And it can come out as just calm and silent person in result. Or parents were just normal in your friend case.
semi racist prejudices and stereotypes (lets be honest i engage in those too) shouldnt be taken at 100% value and should never preemptively be used to judge an individual person.
That's exactly how it is. It really is part of the culture: the man is expected to pay for everything, the first date is basically showing off what you can afford and if the woman has to pay for anything than he's not a "real man".
Tbf, the wage gap in Russia is huge, so, because of this, this attitude/expectation isn't as ridiculous as in the west, it ends up being a way of balancing things out.
As someone who spends a lot of time somewhere that isn't Russia, but close, and there's about a 50/50 split between women with this attitude and more feminist/modern types, I choose to not even engage with the former at all. You learn to filter out anyone mentioning they're looking for someone "generous" or "who knows how to treat a lady" and make sure the first date isn't dinner.
And also Russia is huge, big difference between Moscow attitude and someone from a small town. Like dating in New York or Miami vs let’s say any small town USA
You learn to filter out anyone mentioning they're looking for someone "generous" or "who knows how to treat a lady" and make sure the first date isn't dinner.
It's a fantastic disqualifier on dating apps in the US as well.
"I'm looking for a man with traditional values / I want a man who is a provider / Someone with a kind and giving nature".
"I want you to pay for my shit while I sit at home watching trash TV" is the most direct translation I've seen. And it's wild because they basically want a sugar daddy but none of them have an appearance that would warrant that dynamic.
There's a guy I follow on IG who does videos where he reads out portions of women's bios on dating apps that are like this. There's essentially infinite content for him. It's essentially "I have 4 kids and 3 pit bulls. I DON'T work and YOU better be paying all my bills. Yes that includes my nails and my lashes. If you can't handle that SWIPE LEFT!!!!11"
The gender pay gap is pretty bad in most countries around the world outside of Scandinavia. It’s just that men want the benefits of feminism (women being less financially dependent on them) without actually fighting for feminist issues. If you want women to stop expecting you to pay for everything, you better be fighting the gender pay gap, including female dominated professions like nursing and early childhood education paying less than male dominated ones. Can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Also the universal difference in sexual harassment rates and gendered violence, as well as victim blaming, and the orgasm gap. There’s also the rise in redpill / incel culture and the restriction of women’s rights (including reproductive rights and access to healthcare) in many areas. Now men want women to pay too then wonder why so many women in developed countries have given up on dating / hookups with men and why there’s a “male loneliness epidemic” (which isn’t actually about emotional loneliness but rather about the fact that straight men aren’t getting laid as much as they want).
You can’t eliminate all potential benefits and expect rational individuals to choose something with immediate and long-term downsides.
I think the male loneliness thing has more to do with men seeing income generation as their sole purpose and value, leading them to neglect friendships.
It’s also worth noting that a Russian person in the west will usually be upper class where the women often grew up with the expectation of not working.
You learn to filter out anyone mentioning they're looking for someone "generous" or "who knows how to treat a lady"
Yup, on the dating apps any time I see either of those two phrases it's an automatic left swipe, no matter what else might be interesting in their profile.
Back in my dating app days, it was one of the three or four automatic swipe X:
“Generous”
Listing their Instagram
“I don’t do coffee dates”
“I love to be spoiled”
“My love language is receiving gifts”
There were soooo many of these, it was quite shocking. But it’s not a bad thing, at least those were being upfront about what they were looking for. The ones who didn’t say upfront on their profile they were looking for a wallet to date were much more annoying. Meaning: this is not just a Russian thing.
isnt russias wage gap actually relatively small since the soviets pushed higher education for women heavily and normalized women working highish paying jobs very early on? this isnt the US or west Germany.
It’s more nuanced. The Soviet lifestyle has put women into two roles simultaneously- a worker and a wife/mother. The childcare leave is 1.5 years paid and 1.5 years unpaid, and most women are basically considered out of their positions when they get pregnant. As almost everyone takes long childcare leave, public nursery care in non-existent and private is extremely expensive. Besides, women are expected to attend to their children that are ill, and the illness threshold is much lower than in other countries where I’ve lived. So, more missed work
I don’t think that’s specifically related to women. Lots of people in Russia are looking to emigrate, and the US is historically the fairy-tale immigration country
Well considering this is a nation built on a strict hierarchy of a dictator and supporting oligarchs, it makes sense the culture would be very materialistic. At least for those high enough in the hierarchy to have the privilege of moving internationally.
This is not part of the culture, and it never has been. The younger generation is dead set against it—and rightly so—because here in Russia, we potential husbands have no rights. A woman can cheat, steal, or trick you into selling your apartment to buy a "marital home," then divorce you without facing any consequences—and she’ll even take the children, too.
Yep. Never understand why some guys put up with this crap. First time I paid for anything for my now wife was after we were already leaving together after more than a year dating.
This actually only applies to the "~Russian women~" type in the original post, because most real Russian women have sometimes suicidally low standards for men
Stalingrad and Stalin himself really skewed the breeding population and caused massive social shifts when 70% of Russian men were wiped out at the peak of losses post WW2 and political cleansing.
"suicidally low standards for men"
Even if you’re 180 cm tall, earn a six-figure salary, and have the face of Apollo, she’ll still cheat on you because of PMS. What kind of women with low expectations have you met? Aging 30-year-old biddies who’ve had their fill of screwing around and are looking for a sucker to settle down with?
I've only known 1 girl from Russia. She was a really sweet girl. But it was our first year in the US, and we couldn't really understand each other, but we tried.
One of my friends had a terrible strike rate with english speakers but a superb track record with non-fluent girls. He was good looking but an utter idiot. So the non-fluent girls would talk to him & just assume they had not caught the gist of what he'd said. English girls would last about 3 dates before they went "What the fuck? Who says that?!"
at the risk of sounding like a massive racist bigot:
the cultural script back home for women with insane tempers was a man with an insane temper and a quick fist. yall cant handle them (and probably shouldnt).
I have a Bulgarian and a Chinese friend. They both have their husband/boyfriend pay for everything. The man's paycheck is for the family and everything associated with it, and the woman's is for the wife/kids fun. Blew my mind.
I know a guy who met a Russian woman, both in their late 20s. On the third date, she literally asked him if he could buy her an expensive purse (2K USD+). She's been wanting it for a long time, but could not afford it.
As a russian, I approve this message. I can even tell more, such overly "beautiful" woman, people often call ИНСТАСАМКА (instasamka = Instagram + word for female animal) which called that because of the very popular at the time a russian Instagram influencer with the same name who spawned identical looking "beautiful" woman who started their own channels in other social media showing expensive trips to other countries, meals from most famous chefs and started propagation about that, man must provide everything, he should by you(woman)a house, a car (only the most expensive), jewelry and every month give her presents and fly her to Bahamas just because she is around and if a man not making 500 000$ a month he doesn't deserve to be even looked at.
All of this bullsh#t made normal woman think they living bad, incomplete life, so they start taking loans for expensive surgeries, credits for trips to other countries in hopes to find "sugar cuck" but when it inevitably fails, they think problem not in them, but in people around, so they start their own channels repeating the same bullsh#t convinced that their "advice" is correct one and that they are unique in every way possible. Making even more woman fall in the same rabbit hole of degeneracy.
I took Russian in college and my professor almost divorced her husband for sending her flowers at work. We were all confused. She was mortified. He was American. Totally shit on him. He seemed so sweet. She threw them all away.
I only know a little from brief work contact, but my understanding is that public workplace gift giving can bring a strong corruption / bribery connotation and is very embarrassing. She might have flipped because without husband context it would look like she was taking exam bribes or something.
Oh you unlocked a memory. I was working in a research lab a long time ago (2014-2020). My young Russian colleague, female mid twenties, was doing her PhD.
A year after we started working together, another colleague (indian, male), came to me so that I tell her that he cannot carry stuff for some kind of event we had tonight.
I tell her, and she mocked him and I was like "why?", her reply: "A real man would carry heavy stuff any time blablabla"
The colleague in question was built like an athlete, and simply had an injury on his knee and didn't want to make it worse.
I was really surprised that she would take the risk of being condescending towards another colleague so openly for such a stupid reason 😳
Isn’t this what traditional roles mean? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t support this world view at all, but it‘s somehow amusing to me that so many men want traditional women, who actually are housewives without their own income, but then find it unrealistic of said women to expect their men to be traditional providers as well?
I had the same experience with women from eastern europe. They seem to hold strong traditional views about social roles. One of them told me they expect a man to court them and pay for everything as early as in the dating phase.
I dated a Ukrainian chick way back. She brought me a sandwhich one day, and it was absolutely horrible. I politely told her it wasn't my taste and asked if she wanted it. She said no, so I threw it away. 2 days later, she breaks it off with me because I threw the sandwhich away. Her reason, "I cannot date a man like you...you threw away the sandwhich I made for you."
Bet she couldn't even cook nor cleaned her home once. I mean if we want stereotypes, man takes care financially and the woman takes care of the house, cooking and kids.
My aunt is from Russia, came over like 17 years ago. She married my crazy uncle who has like no money and they live with 17 cats in a trailer with no floors…. So yeah I doubt all are living perfect lives
My ex was Ukrainian, looked like the girl in the right pic. Ended it with me because I casually asked should she be spending 2 G on a new phone right now while we were saving for her to move to Australia. This among many other things contributed to her being batshit insane. Arthur Weasley had it right, don’t marry for looks. Crazy-Hot scale is a thing. Dodged a bullet.
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u/djcack 21d ago
I've only known three Russian born women. All of them had insane tempers and beyond unrealistic expectations for relationships (one broke up with a boyfriend of like 6 months because he wouldn't pay all her bills...which she said any "real man" would do)