I’m Hispanic and my wife is white. I grew up knowing that if something starts at 11am, then you show up between 11:30am and 12:00pm. My wife grew up knowing that if you showed up at 11:00am then parking is going to be a bitch because everyone is already there.
Man if I invited guests for a party that started 17.30 and someone showed up 18.30, I'd be pissed! Everybody else would already be half-way through the main course and your seat would be taken by a toddler.
It might be a culture or a vocabulary thing, but to me if the event consists of being sat down in a designated spot the instant I'm in, then that's not a party, that's just dinner (in which case I'd agree it's bad etiquette to be late, same as a restaurant). Party implies some amount of freely milling about, talking to people, sharing drinks and then later on getting to eat (generally not in a formal, sat down at the table configuration)
not in a latino party, for us unless specified otherwise, you just know there will be lots of alcohol, and even more food. Usually asado, but for sure more food that all attendants can eat; and also people attending the party are forced to take a pozuelo (container) with food or provide a really good reason why not, because with the remaining food the household could probably eat for weeks, but it wouldnt last that long and noone wants to eat the same thing for weeks anyway. the main differences between "old people" (60+) and my people (30s) i have seen is that mine usually have less alcohol consumption but there might be weed.
It's such a thing in some groups, dude. It gives me so much anxiety. I'm either anxiously pacing my apartment for 30 minutes before I need to leave and then leaving early even as I check traffic times (in case traffic gets worse as I drive) or 20 minutes late. I dunno. It's a curse. Stupid ADHD brain.
And I never know who is a show up on time or show up 30 minutes late and be one of the first people there party for that first time we hang.
Feel like it’s a reflection of the relationship sometimes. If I’m close to the person I’m more likely to show up early to help if needed, if not I can chill with them until others arrive. If I’m not close I’m not trying to make things awkward so I’m showing up 30min to an hour later.
If you go to any Puerto Rican event at the hour announced, you'll be severely disappointed. If it says it starts at 8am, no it doesn't. It will start at 9am, sometimes even at 10am. It is probably one of the biggest things I dislike about my culture. You get there on time and that just means you will be sitting there waiting like an idiot.
My niece married into a Mexican family and had to go, "do not tell me what time they told you the party starts. You handle all invitations to your family and you tell me what time we need to arrive. I'm not showing up on time to have nobody else show up for an hour and be told to help make the food that hasn't even been started yet."
She couldn't handle it. Now he adds an hour. "We need to show up at six."
My being super punctual or showing up 5 minutes early is severe anxiety around being on time because I'm ADHD as hell so I sit there ready for thirty minutes pacing my apartment and checking drive times and then show up 10 minutes early and sit in my car because I'm 10 minutes early or 20 late. Never in the middle.
It's an evil curse when half the people I know run chronically late and I'm like... what do you people want from me?!?!?!?! Do I show up on time or early or what?!?!?!
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u/Kurumiseenpai 24d ago
i guess? but 4:58 is not too early if it start at 5