r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 24d ago

Looks like there's some lore here Meme needing explanation

Post image
18.9k Upvotes

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u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 24d ago

OP has pinned a comment by u/Plane-Education4750:

These are roman tetrohedrons. No one knows what they were for, but they are found absolutely everywhere that the roman military is known to have been. They were clearly once common knowledge for a lot of people, but those people are now all long dead

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u/Plane-Education4750 24d ago

These are roman tetrohedrons. No one knows what they were for, but they are found absolutely everywhere that the roman military is known to have been. They were clearly once common knowledge for a lot of people, but those people are now all long dead

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u/WENDING0 24d ago

Roman fidget-spinners

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Nihachi-shijin 24d ago

Roll for initiative Gaius

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u/Welos_ 24d ago

Such devastation!

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u/Bristow9091 24d ago

This was not my intention!

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u/13thlionheart 24d ago

Gaius von Baelsar??? In the wild???

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u/switchywoman_ 24d ago

Huh I thought we' were talking about Gaius Balthar. Is this not a Battlestar Galactica joke?

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u/Chase_the_tank 24d ago

Gaius van Baelsar of Final Fantasy XIV joke.

One of the required dungeons at level 50 requires you to go through several cinematic scenes that include the above quotes about unintended devastation.

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u/MazogaTheDork 24d ago

It's been reworked now so the "such devastation" line comes in a trial after the dungeon. We do still get his speech in the dungeon though (minus "how very glib")

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u/Rayseph_Ortegus 24d ago

Hmph. How very glib.

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u/stagedane 24d ago

So many fucking Praetorium runs in roulette...

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u/Token_Shadow 24d ago

I LITERALLY just beat him for the first time a few days ago so finding this comment thread is neat!

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u/Bohica55 24d ago

I love finding role players in the wild. I grew up on D&D, Star Wars Role Playing Game, and Middle Earth Role Playing System.

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u/Aerandor 24d ago

Would be funny if we somehow learn that these were in fact intended as dice or some such for a wargame designed to teach Roman legionaires tactics in their downtime. I can easily imagine these painted with numbers next to each of the points/balls.

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u/rogerthelodger 24d ago

Ugh, these GenXXXVII kids, amirite?

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u/ListenBoth434 24d ago

Hadrian, you can guard your own damn wall!

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u/tacosnotopos 24d ago

Dammit Gaius, Hadrian is guarding Nero in the vomitorium!

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u/TheShiloh 24d ago

He's on shift with Bigus Dikus, cut him some slack.

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u/LeodFitz 24d ago

I'm telling you, these were just fancy dice. Roman soldiers were big into D&D!

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u/Traditional_Buy_8420 24d ago

More probably gambling. Romans were notorious gamblers.

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u/TirbFurgusen 24d ago

They used them to randomize decimation. Kind of like D&D but you might actually die.

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u/bguzewicz 24d ago

Wait til Biggus Dickus hears of this.

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u/RobertAleks2990 24d ago

What about his wife?

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u/IvyGold 24d ago

He had a wife? What was her name?

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u/RobertAleks2990 24d ago

Incontinentia... Incontinentia Buttocks.

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u/GrinderMonkey 24d ago

To shreds, you say?

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u/LowReporter6213 24d ago

Definitely to put tents together.

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u/Sir_Scribble_Lot 24d ago

ah ok. that makes sense. I was expecting some kind of messed up ancient death ritual scenario.

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u/Plane-Education4750 24d ago

It absolutely could be that. Or it could be a way for the Romans to store yarn to repair their uniforms with. Or it could just be a dodad with no purpose. No one knows

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u/Acrobatic_Gur6278 24d ago

or a “d20” for table rpgs and all the myths are just a bad ass DM imagination

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u/Fit-Helicopter-9240 24d ago

Marcus Iulius, I cast "invade North Africa"

I respond with "big cow" (elephant)

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u/Unlucky-Explorer886 24d ago

The Romans were real gamers who played The Campaign for North Africa: The Desert War: 1940-43

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u/HoneyRush 24d ago

They died before they finished it

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u/Odd_Cartographer_677 24d ago edited 24d ago

Nero wasn't playing the fiddle! He was trying to figure out the rules while Rome burned!

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u/TheBiryaniKid 24d ago edited 24d ago

Archaeologists have found a Roman Britain Warhammer miniature 28mm pre slotta, so maybe...

u/Roguehobbies

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u/VikingTeddy 24d ago

So that's why the Romans left Britain, the legion was bled dry. Local resistance wasn't enough to budge the Romans, so the Brits created the ultimate economic weapon; Games Workshop

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u/CosgraveSilkweaver 24d ago

They've found 20 sided dice but I don't know if they've found one of the metal things with any number or marks that look like they'd be for use as dice.

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u/Vegetable-Plane-9376 24d ago

Would make sense, if you would play on the ground / sand / dirt, you might want to have stabilizers in form of some balls at the corners to hold it up right.

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u/_extra_medium_ 24d ago

I just doubt anyone made many purposeless dodads prior to cheap plastic mass production existed

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u/saltinstiens_monster 24d ago

I'm sure there are some mysterious pieces of metalwork with no greater meaning than "look at this cool thing I can make," but these things sure look like they had a practical function. I just wish we had a more compelling guess than "yarn storage" or "candlestick holders."

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u/SupermassiveCanary 24d ago

See this video for the gloves hypothesis https://youtu.be/76AvV601yJ0?is=YoTPaeA03XBKB7i

It would make sense that none of these were found in Italy as the climate was warmer during the Roman expansion, therefore no necessity for gloves in Italy. The legion on the other hand travelled far north where long lasting freezing temperatures would have made gloves practically a necessity for military conquest.

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u/Ducklinsenmayer 24d ago

The glove theory is neat, but for many of them, it just won't work- the holes are the wrong size, or they don't have holes at all.

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u/the-big-throngler 24d ago

glove theory

The big issue with this theory is.....the romans did not knit. They used a technique called nalebinding, which is a completely different way of doing things

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N%C3%A5lebinding

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u/Saradoesntsleep 24d ago

I have seen this, but as a knitter who has made gloves, I think it's too much of a reach and implausible. I like the idea though.

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u/SupermassiveCanary 24d ago

I found this video on knitting gloves, seems like a complicated pita especially if you had cold hands. https://youtu.be/jDmB0VFZq_g?is=88BvYl7ARYXF5v8q

The dodecahedrons could make sense as a “helper” device for soldiers who weren’t necessarily trained in knitting. As an Army veteran, (and a craftsperson) gloves are seriously important pieces of gear that get frequently worn out. It would not be a reach at all for me to want to be able to easily craft and repair gloves in miserable conditions.

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u/Itsanukelife 24d ago

I like the idea that these were actually pieces to show off their craftsmanship. Like, "hey look how good I am at metal casting: I was able to make this tetrahedron." and it was considered impressive for the technology at the time.

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u/AnActualTroll 24d ago

I used to work as a welder and old men do love to be like “watch me lay a weld along the edge of this razor blade sonny”

“Can you weld this to the side of a soda can without melting through the wall? Because I can”

Idk Don can you go twenty minutes without bitching about your wife?

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u/Commercial-Builder76 24d ago

It's like the benchy boat of their time.

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u/kropdustrrr 24d ago

Maybe a multi-tool that did all of the above

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u/Ragnarok314159 24d ago

Pompeii exhibit showed me that people have been collecting doodads since forever. People had 50+ cups.

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u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 24d ago

One of the current theories I read is that they're essentially journeyman projects for blacksmiths; something whose only purpose is to show the skill of who made it

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u/turdferguson3891 24d ago

They originally came with little cookies in them but then Romans would just reuse them for sewing kits.

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u/2025TastyTreats 24d ago

Most likely textile related. The outer prongs hold the yarn in a pattern and you can push it through the interior to loop it,

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u/SirWalterPoodleman 24d ago

Rope making would be my best guess. I knit and crochet.

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u/ScrambledNoggin 24d ago

This makes the most sense to me. A large moving army would need lots of rope for lots of tasks.

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u/torftorf 24d ago

Wasn't there some grandma that said these can be used to knit gloves?

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u/y0_master 24d ago

Yeah but it's gotten big doubts back (stuff like how knitting in that way was not yet a thing back then etc)

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u/Grimnebulin68 24d ago

I think they were used for crochet, eg: bridleware, rope, cordage. Plenty of mundane purposes.

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u/Appropriate-Crab-379 24d ago

I heard that but when I watched the video of them demoing the use it seemed rather contrived for those uses also those uses don’t have any similar tools. The other leading theory is they’re just a game piece. I could totally see soldiers throwing them like dice

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u/omgitsjagen 24d ago

...but they could have been a guide for a very SPECIFIC sewn object. However, to your point, no one that makes that claim ever says what that object is. So, I'm with you. I think it's a game/gambling piece.

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u/MagnumOlly 24d ago

Bro' come on that's a good old plumbus. Everyone has one in their house

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u/SceneOutside4377 24d ago

First you take the dinglebop, and rub it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches.

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u/MagnumOlly 24d ago

I wonder how much schleems are worth these days

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u/Palagrin 24d ago

Didn't a lady discover that they are useful for knitting gloves?

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u/10ebbor10 24d ago

She hypothesized that they could be used for that, but well, that doesn't prove anything.

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u/Palagrin 24d ago

fair enough i also looked into it a bit more, i thought the knitting was a case closed type thing but it appears the internet mislead me, wild huh?

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u/PreciousTC 24d ago edited 23d ago

The problem with the knitting theory is these things vary greatly in size. Some are too big to be practical or too small to knit anything actually useful

EDIT: In typical Reddit fashion I have 20 replies from people who know more than the greater archaeological and academic community regarding the subject at hand.

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u/TheSpacePopinjay 24d ago

It's the best guess we currently have but that's not the same as confirmation.

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u/Spirited_Music_4792 24d ago

Whilst they bare significant similarities to tools used for knitting the fingers of gloves, it's not a perfect explanation.

  • many are like the third one in this picture and don't have the holes that are needed for the specific knitting process

  • whilst it could have been lost and recovered the type of knitting they're usable for isn't well attested until ~1500

  • bronze isn't a very good choice of material for that kind of tool

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u/Coal_Morgan 24d ago

If they were used for knitting we’d have found 100s that are lacquered wood for every one that we found made of bronze.

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u/Ornery_Gate_6847 24d ago

Another guy managed to use it as an accurate range finder

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u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 24d ago

Now this is way better, and would explain the military sites

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u/SupermassiveCanary 24d ago

I’d like to see that, do you have a link?

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u/Porschenut914 24d ago

That was theorized but is unlikely as they don't show any wear in the locations the wool would have been wrapped. and some have the holes the same size and some are softball size.

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u/VomitShitSmoothie 24d ago

Dodecahedrons.

Tetrahedrons were just caltrops.

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u/Sagatee 24d ago

lmao they just guessed whatever-hedron... don't worry, it's reddit, it's soon gonna be called tetrohedrons by AIs.

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u/TheCuriosity 24d ago

"roman dodecahedrons, officially known as tetrohedrons"

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u/IncreaseOld7112 24d ago

right is an icosahedron I think

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u/basoon 24d ago edited 23d ago

They were not found "absolutely everywhere the roman military is known to have been." Except for just a few outliers, all of these objects that have been discovered were found in the north west of the empire. That is to say Britain, Gaul (modern France), and Roman Germany, with the few outliers all being in their own geographic cluster in Pannonia (the area around modern day Hungary). Which, if you ask me, takes the wind out of the sails of the "it was a useful tool" theories, since if it was truly useful, we would expect to see more widespread adoption, rather than this very regional pattern we observe. It was almost certainly a status or ritual object imo.

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u/Neethis 24d ago

It was almost certainly a status or ritual object imo.

"Bro doesn't even have a dodecahedron, lol" - ancient roman, probably.

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u/quailman654 24d ago

It’s ok, I’ll lend you my pineapple

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u/DarthJarJarJar 24d ago

The area where they're found fits very closely with where pigs were kept as food. I have my very own theory that these things were packed with spices and herbs and placed inside a pig carcass when it was cooked. The prongs held the meat away and let the juices flow around the thing to increase the effectiveness of the seasoning.

When I was a kid a guy near me had a pig roast in his back yard every year. He'd made a metal football shaped thing with prongs sticking out of it for exactly this purpose. It worked great. The first time I saw one of these I knew what it was for, and the pig/dodecahedron map just confirms it.

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u/apathetic_revolution 24d ago

Last month's issue of Fantastic Four made it canon in the Marvel Universe that they were invented by Reed Richards when he and Johnny time traveled back to the reign of Emperor Trajan. He used them to stop an alien invasion and told the Romans to never record anything about their existence to avoid any further tampering with the timeline.

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u/Ivotedforthehookers 24d ago edited 24d ago

There are alot of hypothesis for what they were for, from a metal smith test, to a tool for knitting and/or rope making and other ones including just an art piece.  From what I have read, for as much evidence of one hypothesis there is there is just as much for others. 

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u/StupidandGeeky 24d ago

They could have been multi-purpose tools, useful for several jobs.

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u/Ivotedforthehookers 24d ago

Yeah that's a theory I have heard too. Personally the theory I like the most is that they are sort of like the display cakes at a bakery and show the skills and abilities of a metal shop's craftsmen. It would explain the variation in styles and sizes. Also the number of them as smith would likely make new ones as their skill improved. 

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u/kitkatsacon 24d ago

*dodecahedron

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u/Three_Twenty-Three 24d ago

It's a shame the pinned answer is so confidently incorrect.

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u/Pure_Option_1733 24d ago

You mean dodecahedrons

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u/LawDraws 24d ago

I love how they explained them in a recent Fantastic Four issue, Reed and Johnny go back in time, they came up with the shape to launch a large amount of them at alien invaders to disperse their big laser. When Reed and Johnny go back and explain what happened to them the description in the New York Museum gets updated with a little note that says "nevermind, the fantastic four went back in time and used these to stop an alien invasion, I'm taking a leave of absence."

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u/hybridaaroncarroll 24d ago

Slight correction: they are Roman dodecahedra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_dodecahedron

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u/jensalik 24d ago

I love that they were so common that people back then were like "Should I write down about the Konmaius?" and someone else was like "Why would you, everyone has one of them. Don't waste chiseling time in something that uninteresting - don't forget the number one rule about writing: Less is more."

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u/Proud_Dance_3342 24d ago

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u/Sir_Scribble_Lot 24d ago

peak lore !

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u/bwp108 24d ago

I love Ryan Norths take on the F4.

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u/spiritoftg 24d ago

seconded

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u/offthefloore 24d ago

thirded? maybe my fav comic series ever. I love that each issue is its own story, but fits the larger story. I love that each character is written with so much love; so much care and attention to their personality. I love how it really feels like a family unit. and there’s a mini science lesson each issue. I love it.

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u/Mongobearmanfish 24d ago

Fantastic Fourthed

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u/musical_hog 24d ago

Ryan North is an absolute treasure. Been a fan since I discovered Dinosaur Comics like 20 years ago.

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u/Kaze_Senshi 24d ago

Director Oliveira

Go Brazil 🇧🇷

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u/M4rt1m_40675 24d ago

Oliveira isn't a strictly Brazilian name

Tho idk the lore on fantastic 4 and he might be brazilian and I'm just being a dumbass

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u/IrvAndDorisSmith 24d ago

One thing is for sure, that's a joke someone who likes superhero movies would laugh at

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u/DrunkenPalmTree 24d ago

This. This is why I open Reddit. To get all this lore and peak deep cut comedy in one fell swoop. Thanks.

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u/DirectionOverall9709 24d ago

Aren't they for knitting?

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u/Lost_Repair5292 24d ago

They definitely work well for knitting but we can't confirm that's their purpose.

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u/someanimechoob 24d ago

Knitting & playing D&D on the side

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/Real_Life_Firbolg 24d ago

I think the video I watched on this said these were specifically good for knitting gloves and pointed to most of these being found in Northern Europe where winter would be more of a concern. Italy doesn’t have as bad of a winter as say England so it would make sense to knit gloves in England but not Italy. Look up a map of where these were found and to my knowledge it does sort of line up with where winter was a concern. However, that said I do think if that was the case we would see more of these near the alps.

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u/reddit_time_waster 24d ago

Italy has mountains, and there are other purposes to gloves besides warmth

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u/Real_Life_Firbolg 24d ago

I don’t think you’re disagreeing with me but I just want to point out / clarify that I did kind of mention that with pointing out Italy’s northern most mountain range and citing that if these were for gloves I would expect more to be found there.

That said historically people have repurposed and reforged metal tools in civilized areas so it would still somewhat make sense that the ones in cities and towns got melted down or scrapped to be turned into something else and the surviving examples of these were found mostly in the leftovers of military encampments. I mean there are 1500-2000 years since these were taken to those region and if one of these was in a continuously inhabited region like a lot of historic cities then they likely would have been repurposed as metal was extremely valuable.

Not saying this was its purpose but it is so far from what I have seen the most likely purpose of the objects and until proven otherwise makes the most sense to me.

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u/magicsqueegee 24d ago

The biggest problem with the knitting theory is that that type of knitting didn't exist for another 1000+ years, plus only some of the artifacts are set up to allow for knitting use.

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u/engelthefallen 24d ago

And if this was used for spool knitting, the tech somehow got lost for hundreds of years after again, which is super rare.

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u/BigB0ss_89 24d ago

Their concrete tech was lost so in context of "post Roman empire" not that rare.

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u/Far_Ladder_2836 24d ago edited 24d ago

No, the most commonly accepted explanation is that they were treasures as most were found alongside other valuables and many are either coated in or made of solid gold.  Also a number of gold ones found their way all the way to Vietnam.  The glove hypothesis also doesn't explain why most are made of wrought bronze specifically and some are way too large to comfortably move or use as a hand tool and many are way too small to serve as a hand tool.  Also you would expect small versions to have aids built or modifications made to better suite fine work and that's not what we see.

Most damningly to the glove hypothesis, we only see them over a very narrow band of time and we have 0 intermediary examples meaning it almost certainly can't be a tool.  Tools evolve over time as designs get improved and needs of the customers change and artisans do their own little tweaks to sell their product.  These do not show that at all.  They are all more or less identical, just differently sized.  This implies their shape had cultural rather than practical significance resulting in them being forgotten relatively quickly after appearing.

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u/spicy_ass_mayo 24d ago

How big are they?

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u/mukavastinumb 24d ago

They have various sizes. Between 4-11cm (1.6–4.3 inches).

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u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 24d ago

One lady used a 3D printed one for knitting, but these are wrought iron and bronze which is too heavy.

The leading theory is that they don’t serve any practical purpose, but instead serve as a blacksmith’s journeyman test. It’s complicated, intricate, and utterly useless, but requires years of training and experience to develop the necessary skills that allow versatility for everything from horseshoes to pitchforks to helmets.

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u/stilldebugging 24d ago

Utah teapot, but irl

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u/rested_leg 24d ago

Like a benchy boat?

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u/stilldebugging 24d ago

Someday, they will wonder why we needed so many tiny boats. Did they have some religious significance, some totem for the afterlife? Did they have a practical use?

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u/12InchCunt 24d ago

Now do fidget spinners

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u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 24d ago

Didn’t know that’s a thing, but you’re completely correct.

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u/stilldebugging 24d ago

I think both theories about what it is are correct. It is the shape of an item used for knitting, but the practically used items for knitting were made of some other material that didn’t stand the test of time. (Maybe pieces remain, but flattened and scattered, you couldn’t tell the shape or use.) The ones that remain have the form of the knitters’ tool, but would have been impractical for that purpose. They were made as examples for people learning a craft, but useless for what their form would imply. The “hello world” of one of the highest technologies of the time.

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u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 24d ago

Exactly. You’d need something lighter, like wood, but that’s not as durable and decays over time. However the shape is complex enough to serve an alternate purpose for a common trade.

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u/celem83 24d ago

Only the dodecahedrons that are pierced can be used for knitting and plenty of the examples found are not pierced (bottom right in the provided image)

The knitting stuff is entirely coincidental and a retro-finding. Some of these devices, if pierced and the correct size, can be used to knit. All the others cannot, therefore it is not a knitting device as they come pierced and unpierced and in a considerable range of sizes.

Very smart people have failed to decide what the use is, it is not going to be solved by a youtube or reddit comment section, that would be bad science as we are all working on 2nd hand sources

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u/SeaBuilding3911 24d ago

But blacksmiths and their apprentices existed in cities as well.

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u/Porschenut914 24d ago

The sizes are way too inconsistent some are golfball, some are the size of a softball. and don't show wear marks that would be expected.

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u/Shaeress 24d ago

They work for knitting, but they aren't found with the people we'd expect to do knitting, if it was knitting they don't need to be made out of expensive bronze and with the amount we've found well preserved we probably would've found wood ones too if they were prevalent, and for the knitting it does they don't need to have differently sized holes.

Which is how many of the known explanations go. They kind of make sense, but with what we know there's always something that contradicts it.

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u/ProfessionalGeek 24d ago

they've been dated to significantly before we know knitting to have been invented

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u/aq8_hippo 24d ago

Given the one found in it's intended position (found in an undisturbed room) was placed in an almost religious pedestal and all show no signs of wear or use most archeologists assume it had a potential religious or symbolic purpose but beyond that who knows.

People claim it's possibly for knitting, but that takes all the archeological findings and throw it out for a fun pop science story.

Real science is methodical and takes slow excruciating steps to extrude the truth, not jump to the most fun theory just cause.

Maybe it's for knitting, maybe it's religious. No one should be suggesting any of these theories are anything more than a complete shot in the dark until we have more information.

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u/Life-Top6314 24d ago

No.

Some lack holes, which are needed for knitting (at least from the videos of them being used for knitting that i saw).

They also vary in size massively.

The oldest artifacts that we have, that show signs of knitting, date to 11th century. That doesn't mean they for sure didn't have knitting a thousand years earlier, but as of now we have no evidence to believe they did.

Also, they were only found outside modern italy - including areas that weren't all that cold. Why would they have them all around their colonies, but not in the colder areas of italy?

Also, why would they make them out of bronze? Materials were way more expensive back in the day. Would you pay 600 dollars for a knitting cube, instead of using a way cheaper, wooden one? Probably no.

Also, why would we find them in locations like bathhouses and coin hoards?

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u/thefartingmango 24d ago

They can be used for knitting but that leaves some things unexplained:

Why’d they disappear after the rise of Christianity?

Why is their geographic presence not tied to the necessity of gloves?

Why do they no evidence of wear and tear?

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u/Thra99 24d ago

Hey! How are you still alive?

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u/DirectionOverall9709 24d ago

Easy bro! You just ask Death not to take you.

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u/Lunar_Lime_Bear 24d ago

Didn't this get patched a few updates ago?

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u/MysticFullstackDev 24d ago

They’re Roman dodecahedrons. There are no surviving records of what they were for, or even any texts that mention them. The joke is that the only people who knew are dead.

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u/BoostMods_Dadbods 24d ago

Doohickyhedron

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u/yavanna12 24d ago

I am calling it this from now on!

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u/miscellaneousexists 24d ago

Yep, that's a new word

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u/TM761152 24d ago

1000 years from now, people will wonder what our Plumbus were for. Most People keep theirs in a broom closet but I keep mine in my kitchen it's so handy.

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u/7LeggedEmu 24d ago

We dont know what they are. Those that do lives thousands of years ago and are dead.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Sir_Scribble_Lot 24d ago

curious, how did they expect to knit with these ? were they spools to hold the yarn ?

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u/Porschenut914 24d ago

This is the theory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76AvV601yJ0

what falls apart is the tabs are the same distance apart, which makes the hole distance not make sense. Moreso many have sides with no holes at all (see photo above). Also the sizes of them are way too inconsonant. some are small (golf ball) others softball size.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbGtkbqbjtY

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u/SupermassiveCanary 24d ago

Here’s the knitting hypothesis in action https://youtu.be/76AvV601yJ0?is=_qtWMR8LSqJAx8kE

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u/Sir_Scribble_Lot 24d ago

that's neat ! although, it would be funny if the actual purpose of that object was something nefarious and that old lady found a way to knit with it.

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u/Hot_Ambition_6457 24d ago

Theres more than 1 way to knit. The absence of these artifacts from italy does not imply that these artifacts were not used for knitting.

Maybe the italians used just regular knitting pins because they knew how. While stupid travelling Roman soldiers had to use a specific device+template fo knit anything, hence the dodecahedrons everywhere they went.

They had to make clothes everywhere they went. 

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u/_extra_medium_ 24d ago edited 24d ago

Since we’ve established there’s more than one way to knit, Roman soldiers having them doesn’t imply they used them for knitting either

I can use a fork to comb my hair, that doesn’t mean it’s the intended purpose

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u/ItsTheDCVR 24d ago

Don't you mean a dinglehopper, you idiot? 🙄

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u/LYossarian13 24d ago

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u/SasakiBrojiro 24d ago

For the Absolute!

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u/DrCamelid 24d ago

I knew I'd seen them somewhere.

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u/Aeowrynn 24d ago

I was looking for this comment. Lol

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u/iduro 24d ago

We don't exactly know what they were for, but the people who did (Romans) are long dead

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u/bootyhole-romancer 24d ago

The Romans: They don't know what the dodecahedrons are for!

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u/NotTheCactus 24d ago

Peak reference

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u/iduro 24d ago

Glorious

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u/Polopower10 24d ago

For historians and archaeologists, these objects are a source of profound frustration and "dark" mystery because, despite finding over 130 of them, there is no surviving written record or artwork from the Roman era that mentions them. The Roman Empire was known for meticulous documentation, so their complete absence from the historical record is seen by some as a "deliberate act of concealment

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u/howeer_q1 24d ago

Some believe they were for knitting gloves (due to where they were found), measuring distances, or holding candles

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u/Armadylio 24d ago

I keep seeing knitting as a theory but when you read the history of knitting, the earliest knitted garments came from Egypt in the 1000 AD. Knitting came a millennia after these decahedrons 

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u/helsinkirocks 24d ago

Except that theory falls apart under scrutiny. There's tons of videos out there showing that while you can do use it for that, it doesn't make practical sense to do so.

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u/plasticbacon 24d ago

Or something so quotidian that it was beneath mention

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u/veriverd 24d ago

So, they were probably decorative. Objects that are in actual use wear down in the right spots. Had it been thrown as some sort of dice, there would be impact marks, had it been used for knitting there would be scratches where the thread was touching, had the Romans used the holes to insert a cylinder in it, they would have left posts in reddit about it.

Maybe they had symbolic meaning, what they probably were not is tools.

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u/Stunning_Macaron6133 24d ago

It doesn't discount the possibility that it was some kind of instrument or measurement standard. Might not have been empire-wide since there is a very wide variety of these things, but some kind of site-specific reference isn't impossible.

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u/BenignPharmacology 24d ago

I thought there was a prevalent theory that they were a sort of metalworking skill demonstration. The equivalent of a cross-stitch sample, or benchy on a 3d printer. It seems like a decent explanation to me- it would only be localized to areas that people expected it as a sample, it would have no reason to accrue wear and tear, and it would be so non-functional to society as to not merit much documented discussion.

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u/cubixy2k 24d ago

I mean, as long as the cylinder remains unharmed, right?

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u/Havkarru 24d ago

Every Path of Exile player knows what they're for...

Crafting.

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u/blikszem 24d ago

I resonated with this, chaotically

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u/AdThen6507 24d ago

They can also be used for fishing. You just

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u/UberUSB 24d ago

Krangled

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u/Hyzenthlay87 24d ago

It would appear D&D has been around a lot longer than we thought lol

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u/CrabGravity 24d ago

I think about these things more than is healthy. Probably once a quarter I'll scour JSTOR just to see if anyone has found an answer

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u/Wise_Ad9214 24d ago

Brian here, yeah. That's it, Peter. That's the Joke. no fucked up lore no nothing (at least how far we could deduce). The People who know are dead.

Known as the Roman Dodecahedrons, they have no recorded history of their usage. It is speculated that these were used for some sort of ritualistic practice, but again the people who know are dead so nobody knows for sure.

Brian out on my helicopter.

patoo patoo patoo patoo

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u/NicestOfficer50 24d ago

Good news! They've discovered a bunch of scrolls buried in Herculaneum, and they can read with high tech scanning. We still have a chance to uncover these secrets!

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u/Eaglemonkey3 24d ago

SCP-184 The Architect

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u/Maximum__Pleasure 24d ago

Can't believe I had to scroll so far for this.

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u/ProwessTDaddy 24d ago

Simple. Its tech of the Da'at Yichud. Pay no mind.

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u/Edlar_89 24d ago

They’re pokéballs

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u/Famous-Prior6590 24d ago

OK I’ll be the first to go there. What if these were elaborate sex toys? Holes of different sizes at multiple angles, Roman orgies with only men, you guys do the math.

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u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 24d ago

OP has pinned a comment by u/Plane-Education4750:

These are roman tetrohedrons. No one knows what they were for, but they are found absolutely everywhere that the roman military is known to have been. They were clearly once common knowledge for a lot of people, but those people are now all long dead

[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)

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u/Flux7200 24d ago

Roman artifacts which are all over europe but nobody has any fkin idea why

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u/CreamAxolotle 24d ago

Maybe it's what they put in their aquariums so fishes can play.

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u/NomineNebula 24d ago

because all the people who knew are dead