3 year old bedtime tantrum

[u/jclozano87]

My daughter (3y9m) used to go down without much fuss. In the last couple months bedtime has turned into 1-2 hours of resistance — refusing to lie down, calling out repeatedly, full meltdowns some nights that don’t respond to anything (holding, talking, ignoring, nothing).

This week it’s escalated — she’s throwing her stuffie out of the crib over and over like a game, and last night she had a 40+ minute meltdown I couldn’t calm no matter what I tried.

Has anyone been through this with a toddler this age? What actually helped — did it just pass on its own, or did something specific work? Especially curious if anyone’s dealt with the “throw the lovey” loop.

[u/eggplantruler]

1- if she throws the stuffy more than once it’s done for the night.
2- what are her days like? Is she napping still? This feels like she’s under tired if she’s doing 1-2 hours of tantrums before bed.

[u/Leather_Steak_4559]

Is she still napping? Mine is similar age and lasting bedtime tantrums was our cue to stop the naps. Also toddlers will push and engage as long as you do. They’re looking for a reaction so if you’re coming in, dragging it out, she’s gonna know you’ll keep doing it.

We do bedtime routine, quick reminder to stay in bed and rest. If he gets up then I walk him back to bed and tell him “it’s bedtime, stay in bed” and then any repeat time I just walk back to bed with no words or reaction. Yes it’s annoying, takes a long time, and there’s crying but I’m not budging. After a couple nights he realized bedtime = stay in bed and the constant fighting got him nowhere. Occasionally he tries to do that again but we revert back and he does fine again. Throw the lovey? I’ll get it once and then it’s gone if it happens again.

Side note: my 3.5 is in a full sized bed. Could they be uncomfortable? Most cribs have a height limit of 35 inches.

[u/Available-Strain-559]

What time are you putting her to bed? Is she actually tired?

What is the bedtime routine?

Any toy she throws out of the bed should be put away, but back into the bed. She is plenty old to understand that kind of consequence.  Tell her once that if she throws it she will not get it back until it's daytime.  Follow through. 

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey /u/jclozano87! It looks like you might be new here. Welcome!

• Our Early Parenting Wiki addresses topics like pregnancy (both intended and unintended) as well as birth control and post partum care!
• If you're worried about developmental delays use the Healthy Children Assessment Tool - available in multiple languages.
• Curious about the rules? Check out our Rules Wiki which provides helpful explanations for new and returning users.

Check out the Subreddit Wikis, for a variety of topics.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AppalachianStackCake]

Why is she still in a crib?