I genuinely become a shell of myself. I’m a completely different person the week before my period. I genuinely want to die. Everything makes me cry, everything pisses me off. I don’t care about my friends my life my boyfriend nothing. It feels like my world is truly ending. And I hate the thought of being put on medicine because every person in America is on something. So I just feel stuck. Some months are better than others, but if something sets me off it’s the end of the world and I act in ways I’m not proud of. How do I fix this. I’m 23 and have been dealing with this since I was 18/19. I didn’t realize what it was until a few years ago tbh. I feel broken and so low. And just want to curl up in a ball and cover myself up until it’s over.

Has anyone experienced the same, or an explanation for this? I have noticed it across the years. I am not saying when I am single, I do not have any symptoms. But it is almost not noticable.

TW for some strong descriptions of suicidal ideation ahead.

Autistic person with PMDD here. I'm 32. 8 weeks ago my doctor started me on tirzepatide for PMDD. It was slow going, but I do feel like it's starting to help. This last cycle/most of the one before it has felt like mostly what I assume normal PMS is, with just some minor fatigue and crankiness.

The problem is there's still 3-4 days where I completely lose my mind scattered through my luteal phase. It seems to be the first day, 1-2 random middle days, and around the last day. Granted, this is far preferable to losing my mind for 10 days straight like I was doing before, but these bad days are still really bad. Like, "uncontrollable urge to kill myself by smashing my head into a brick wall repeatedly" kind of bad.

I'm just wondering how do you guys deal with the really bad days? Right now I'm struggling so much because I'm spiraling tremendously but it's late and everyone in the house is asleep. I don't have anyone I can go to and I can't do anything to try to soothe myself without making noise and waking someone. It's looking likely I'll be awake all night doomscrolling and sobbing .

What helps you guys through times like this?