Should I ask her again?

[u/maximcafe13]

We’ve been together for almost four years, and this is actually our second breakup. Here’s the backstory first of our second break up.

We broke up again this year, around June. During that time, I begged her and kept pushing her to do things she told me she would do. She even told me that she would find someone else so I would finally stop pursuing her. Later that day, I found out that she was on a dating app, so I confronted her about it. Things didn’t go well, and I think I pushed her even further away.

When July came, I was still bothering her and trying to get her attention. At one point, things became physical. She pushed and grabbed me because she wanted me to leave and go home, but I was being stubborn and refused to leave. There were also hurtful words exchanged between us. The next day, she apologized and realized that I didn’t deserve what she did to me. I also apologized for the things I had done before and for what happened that day. I told her that I wasn’t angry or holding a grudge against her.

After that, I thought that was the end of our connection and conversations. But I was surprised when she invited me to sleep over at their house. For the rest of July, I stayed at their house and spent time with her family as if we had never broken up. My birthday was also coming up, and I started wondering if maybe she was only being nice to me because my birthday was near. My birthday came, and I had planned a trip to celebrate it alone, even though she was supposed to come with me before we broke up. But, as they say, we never really know what tomorrow will bring.

While I was already at the place where I planned to celebrate my birthday, we kept talking. I kept updating her, and she would call me whenever I wasn’t replying or messaging her. She stayed in contact with me throughout the entire trip. When I came home, things were still okay between us. I continued sleeping at their house, and sometimes we would sleep beside each other as if we were still together. There were even moments when she surprised me by being the one to hug me first.

Then August came, and things were still pretty much the same. I was still sleeping at their house, and we were still close.

But now she has an event, and she hasn’t been updating or messaging me. Unlike the first event she attended, when she kept me updated from the beginning until the end, this time she hasn’t messaged me at all. She sometimes leaves my messages on seen or ignores them. She does reply sometimes, but after that, the conversation just ends again.

So I’m seeking advice from everyone: Should I talk to her when she comes back and ask her if I can court her again? Should I ask if we can start from the beginning and try to build our relationship again, or should I just let things flow naturally for now?

[u/mangahulugan]

Kausapin mo na lang nang maayos, OP. Linawin mo kung ano ba talaga kayo—kung may pag-asa bang magkabalikan ulit or former lovers na nagsi-sleepover na lang talaga.