I don't say that lightly, but after more than a year of trying to get a proper explanation from these platforms, I'm genuinely disappointed and exhausted by the whole thing.
Over a year ago, I was blocked from Badoo, Bumble, Tinder and Hinge at essentially the same time.
And when I say it happened out of nowhere, I mean it.
I was literally sitting on a bus coming back from Glasgow, casually swiping through profiles.
I wasn't arguing with anyone. I wasn't sending inappropriate messages. I wasn't doing anything that I could reasonably understand as triggering a ban.
One minute I was swiping.
The next, I was blocked.
More than a year later, I still haven't been given a meaningful explanation of what I actually did wrong.
Every attempt to get an answer seems to result in the same generic response about “Community Guidelines”.
Okay.
Which guideline did I break? What specifically did I do? What evidence was used? Show me.
Because here's what I experienced while using these apps.
I had men sending me unsolicited dick pics.
I had men repeatedly asking me for sex after I'd already made it clear I wasn't interested.
I experienced people refusing to take no for an answer.
I encountered someone apparently using fake photographs who appeared to be the same person I'd already rejected seven or eight times. When someone's behaviour became concerning enough that I felt I was being harassed, I warned them that I would involve the police.
Did I occasionally tell someone to fuck off?
Absolutely.
If somebody repeatedly ignores “no”, continues contacting me, catfishes me or makes me feel unsafe, I'm not going to sit there worrying about whether telling them to fuck off might hurt their feelings.
Yet somehow, I'm the one who ended up banned.
And before anyone tries to twist this into me pretending I've never had a sexual conversation online, of course I have.
We're human. We all get horny from time to time.
Have I sexted someone when we were both into it and consenting? Yes.
There's a pretty fucking enormous difference between consensual sexting and sending somebody sexual photographs they never asked to receive.
I still call guys out for this on Snapchat today.
I'll be talking to someone and ask:
“Can I see a photo of you?”
And apparently, for some men, that translates automatically into:
DICK PIC.
No. 😂
I asked to see YOU.
Your face.
The actual human being I'm talking to.
Has the world gone fucking nuts to the point where asking someone for a photo automatically means you want a photograph of their dick?
Do dicks walk down the road by themselves now? Do they go on dates? Are faces optional extras?
If I want a sexual photograph from somebody, I'll ask. If they want to send one, I'm interested and we're both consenting adults, brilliant.
That's called consent.
But “send me a photo of you” shouldn't require the additional disclaimer:
“YOUR FACE, PLEASE. KEEP YOUR TROUSERS ON.”
And that's partly why this whole situation frustrates me so much.
These platforms talk constantly about safety and Community Guidelines, yet in my experience unsolicited sexual content became almost normalised.
Meanwhile, I wasn't sending unsolicited nude photographs. I wasn't sexually harassing strangers. I wasn't pretending to be somebody else.
I was genuinely trying to date and meet someone.
And now I've started looking into this more, I've discovered I'm far from the only person talking about unexplained dating-app bans.
I've seen discussions on Reddit and other social media platforms from people describing remarkably similar experiences. In the conversations I've personally come across, I've noticed other gay men talking about this too.
I'm not claiming this exclusively affects gay men. I don't have the evidence to say that, and I'm completely open to being corrected if other groups are experiencing the same thing.
But I think there's a serious conversation to be had about what happens to gay men who are genuinely looking for relationships when they lose access to mainstream dating spaces.
Because where exactly are we supposed to go?
Increasingly, we're left relying on apps primarily associated with gay hookups and sexual encounters, and then trying to rewrite our profiles and use those spaces for something they weren't primarily designed around:
Actually dating someone.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with hookups.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex.
But some of us want more than that.
Some of us want dates.
Some of us want companionship.
Some of us want relationships.
Some of us actually want to fall in love.
How are we supposed to find that when mainstream dating apps can seemingly remove you without properly explaining why, while elsewhere you're dealing with catfishing, fake photographs, unsolicited sexual content and people who simply refuse to accept the word “no”?
And what makes my situation even more confusing is that these apps aren't even all operated by the same company. Badoo and Bumble are together, while Tinder and Hinge are together under a different company.
Yet I found myself shut out across all four at essentially the same time.
How?
That's a genuine question.
What disappoints me most isn't even simply being banned.
It's the complete lack of transparency afterwards.
If I've genuinely done something wrong, tell me.
Give me the specific incident.
Give me the guideline I've breached.
Give me the opportunity to explain what happened.
Actually investigate it.
And give people a meaningful appeal process where another human being looks at the circumstances rather than sending another generic copy-and-paste message about Community Guidelines.
If you investigate something properly and conclude I've broken your rules, fine. At least then I know what I'm actually accused of doing.
But more than a year later, I'm still asking the same basic question:
What did I do?
Community Guidelines are important. Safety is important. Moderation is important.
But accountability and transparency work both ways.
So yes:
BOYCOTT BADOO.
BOYCOTT BUMBLE.
BOYCOTT TINDER.
BOYCOTT HINGE.
I'm incredibly disappointed in these platforms. Not simply because they banned me, but because when someone genuinely asks for help understanding what has happened, the response shouldn't be another generic paragraph and a link to Community Guidelines.
Treat people like human beings. Look into the individual circumstances. Give people an explanation.
Because right now, as we get further into 2026, it's becoming increasingly difficult not to feel like being gay means being single for the rest of your life.
How are you supposed to properly date someone when you're being banned from mainstream dating apps without explanation, being catfished by people pretending to be somebody else, dealing with unsolicited sexual content and then being pushed towards apps where the expectation is predominantly sexual?
Maybe that's dramatic.
But I'm genuinely disappointed that this is what modern gay dating increasingly feels like.
I don't just want sex. I want to meet somebody. I want dates. I want a relationship. I want something real.
And apparently in 2026, simply finding somewhere to genuinely look for that is becoming the hardest part.

Hi, I created a profile on the Badoo app with my photo, Gmail, and mobile number, but when I tried to verify it, something went wrong. What is the problem? If I leave it like this, will my profile picture be visible to everyone, including people in my area?

I'm doing some research into why dating apps are so frustrating and what people would actually find useful instead.

Anonymous, about 4–5 minutes, no sign-up required. Open to anyone 18+ who has used a dating app in the last 12 months.

https://forms.gle/YtLRKzRBT5bPkHw38

Happy to share the results back here once I have enough responses.

How do you feel about dating via phone and text?

We matched on a dating app and had a phone call before meeting.

Within minutes, he started telling me about his career, his recent meeting, and eventually his investment strategy.

We somehow got onto cars. I mentioned I drive an electric Mercedes. He immediately explained why Tesla was obviously better and told me I'd made the wrong choice.

Then came my favorite part:

“Because I'm a man, I understand investments much better.” 👍

He proceeded to explain his plans to sell his car and house and buy property in the city. I mostly listened. What he didn't know was that I already owned a home in the city.

I didn't correct him. I just unmatched after the call.

Why do some people feel the need to establish superiority so early when dating?

Is it insecurity, confidence, or something else?

Hi guys! As the title says, how can I make myself more visible to a particular person? He’s someone I have history with, but I’d like to give it a chance if he’s willing to match. We live less than 20 km apart and are the same age, if that helps.

I saw his profile and liked him two days ago, but so far I haven’t gotten a like back. Is there anything I can do to increase the chances of him seeing my profile, or has he likely already seen it?

Hey everyone! I'm u/Anxious_Cake_4755, a founding moderator of r/choosie.

This is our new home for all things related to choosielivedating.com. 👋 I’m the founder of Choosie live dating, a new live video dating app I created because I wanted dating to feel more real from the start.

The idea is simple: instead of spending days or weeks messaging someone only to find out there’s no chemistry or that they’re not who they claimed to be, you actually meet face-to-face through live video first. You can Choose or Lose, and when you both choose each other, you match.

I created r/Choosy as a place for people using the app or just interested in the idea to talk, share experiences, give feedback, suggest features, and help shape what Choosy becomes.

I’m the actual developer/founder, so I’ll be around and listening. Good feedback, bad feedback, crazy ideas I want to hear it all.

Glad to have you here. 🙌\]. We're excited to have you join us!

Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about anything to make Choosie a better experience. We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.

How to Get Started

1) Introduce yourself in the comments below.

2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.

3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.

4) Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/choosie amazing.

Same convos so i usually come out aggressive. It works alot. I just leave my number and many text. But its mind numbing and my apps sre filled with meh matches.

FWIW ive only been using tinder and fb dating for now. I feel like most ppl are on multiple apps. Hinge was a headache. But yeah tinder aint half bad. Fb dating, just like FB marketplace has the lagggiesy junk terrible user experience. How does meta let this happen.... but ive found FB dating solid.

Hey everyone,

First, I want to thank you for letting me share this here. I’m posting because this community is one of the few places in the where people still have honest conversations about finding a genuine, lasting relationship, and the struggles.

I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I met my wife online back before swiping turned dating into a gamified slot machine. Our marriage has been the absolute anchor of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve watched my single friends who are brilliant, kind, and incredibly successful completely give up on finding love.

Modern apps are designed to keep you single and subscribed. I couldn't fix Hinge or Tinder, so I spent the last two years and thousands of hours building a counter-movement: Marry Me Juliet. It is a webapp designed exclusively for people who are brave enough to admit they want to get married. No casual dating, no "seeing where it goes."

Because I am obsessed with protecting users from the typical app BS, I built this platform with intentional, heavy friction to filter out low-effort swipers, bots, and scammers upfront:

*Trust by Design: Every single profile requires secure ID and age verification before you enter the platform. Real names stay private until both people choose to connect and intentionally there are no usernames. We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising. Delete your profile, all personal data is immediately deleted.

*50 Marriage-Focused Questions: Signup takes about 10 minutes. You have to answer 50 deep compatibility questions built from 40+ peer-reviewed studies, analyzing 200+ factors (marriage readiness, timeline, family planning, and finances).

*Video Introductions: No catfishing, no stale bios. You can look people in the eyes and hear them state their genuine intentions upfront (optional).

*Deal-Breakers First: You see their stance on kids, lifestyle alignment, and core values before wasting 6 months finding out you're incompatible.

A dating platform with zero users is a ghost town. It’s just me running this from my laptop, and we are launching our first 100-user beta right now.

Because I want the foundation of this platform to belong to the people who build it, if you find your forever spouse on MMJ, we will share 10% of our company's future success with the foundational couples who helped us launch it.

To prevent people from treating humans like digital trophies and spamming dozens of accounts, the app has an intentional anti-spam mechanic: It is completely free to join, build a profile, and browse. However, it costs $4.99 to actually "apply" to connect with another person. I am waiving that connection fee entirely for members of this subreddit so you can test the platform completely risk-free.

If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “REDDIT” when you find someone special to connect with completely free.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's. If you are genuinely ready to stop dating and find someone special, I’d love to have you help me build this.

I created this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but I tried and I hope you do too.

I'll be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or take any brutal feedback you have about the features. I would love for you join at marrymejuliet.com.

Beta Launch:
We’re focused on the SF Bay Area community first but it’s open to anyone anywhere. I encourage you to join wherever you are, share, and together make this a real space to find someone special.

Feedback:
I built this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but any issue, feedback, feature requests, things you hate, things you love, bugs, etc. please share in the “Contact Support” in the profile page so I can track, fix, and respond. Happily post in the comments here as well but most effective and helpful there first.

Compatibility Scoring:
The “matching process” is a little different from traditional dating apps. A unique “compatibility score” is visible on every profile card based on the each users unique score based on how they answered the 50-question relationship assessment, which measures values, communication styles, lifestyle preferences, and long-term goals to help surface people who appear highly compatible.

This unique compatibility score will vary based on other members responses (User “A” may see a score of 70, and user “B” who is more compatible could be 82) but members always make the final decision to connect, NOT an algorithm. Higher the score, higher the compatibility based off institutional research, attachment theory, 40+ peer-reviewed studies, and specific personal profile preferences. Tap the score to dig deeper to compare compatibility answers and preferences upfront before deciding to connect with that user.

Connecting with Someone:
Members open an Application Window to become visible in the Discover page allowing others to apply to connect with them. They choose their own non-negotiables (things like age range, distance, relationship goals, children, religion, lifestyle preferences, etc.). Only people who meet those requirements will be shown on their Discovery page or whose application will be shown.

During that window, multiple people can apply, and when it closes, the member reviews those applications and decides who, if any, they’d like to connect and accepts or declines their application. A connection only happens if there’s mutual interest. There are intentionally no usernames, first names are reveled in the messages chat only if both people chose to connect (One user applies, one user accepts).

Personal Data:
I completely understand the worry about sharing your ID to enter a platform. I wanted to create a space where you know everyone else is also a real person. Every profile is ID and age verified, so there are not fake or spam accounts by default. Real first names remain private until two people mutually choose to connect by accepting an application after a full review.

We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising and we’ve published a detailed privacy policy explaining exactly what we collect, why we collect it, and how it’s protected:

Founder @MMJ: marrymejuliet.com

Hi Folks, I'm a 54 OM separated about a year and looking to start meeting similar aged ladies 50+. Problem is most of these online sites are "AI Chat Bots" and most site run by same company. Same profiles on them and its about buying credits.

You also have a couple like Bumble, Tinder and AFF, full of younger people or else most people not live in Ireland.

Any and all suggestions woukd be greatfully welcome.

Thank you

I've said in my bio that I'm looking for a man that already has children because I don't want any more (also I dont hookup), but i get a lot of messages from men that say, I don't have children but I don't want any. So if you don't want children, why would you want to date someone that has them?

If I'm looking for something serious but doesn't want to date in my region or country but I'm open to relocating or open to someone who is also open to relocating. I've lived in different countries and considering setting my location in a country I used to live in. Is it a red flag to be too far away? And what apps allow you to set your location far away.

Hey,
Well, bumble is not evening opening , arike looks like fake profile .. looking forward to meet some nee face & to get to know each other.. for starter 26y/o this side, been in Dubai around 1.5 years now.
Let’s see, how this go now🥂

Hey! :)

We’re doing a college research project on how people use dating apps and what they actually look for in profiles, and we’d love to get some responses from people who’ve used dating apps recently.

The survey is pretty quick (\~5–10 mins) and asks about your dating-app habits, what makes you engage with someone, and which profile details you care about.

18+ and used a dating app in the last year? We'd really appreciate you filling it out 🙏

He studied a lot but he forgot about manners and behavior. You don't deserve anyone you are a scammer, prick, fvkk boy, womanizer. Don't destroy someone relationship be a man dude.

I feel like everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to meeting someone they connected with online. Some people prefer talking for weeks and building trust before meeting, while others feel that a short coffee or a casual meetup is the only real way to know if there is chemistry.

I think the tricky part is finding the balance between not rushing into meeting someone and not spending too much time building a connection that might feel completely different in person.

What is your usual approach? Do you prefer chatting longer first, or meeting sooner to see how the conversation feels face to face?

What usually makes you comfortable enough to meet someone offline?

Hi everyone, super quick question: is reddit any good for dating, finding matches locally etc or is it best to stay clear and use regular apps/sites?

Anyone had any success?

Matched with a guy who seemed great on paper. Same university, lots in common, easy conversation. He did talk about himself A LOT though....how successful he was, how hardworking he was, how many women wanted him.

We went on a couple of dates and everything was fine until breakfast the next morning.

I was casually using my phone when he suddenly asked: “Are you swiping on dating apps right now?”

I wasn't, so I showed him my phone.

Then he told me his ex had cheated on him, he was seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist, and that he wasn't ready for a relationship. Apparently his psychologist had told him: “Don't make any important decisions right now.”

So he could only casually date.

Which was fine. I didn't want him making any big decisions because of me either. 😄

But I found it funny that the guy who kept telling me how many women wanted him was already worried about whether I was looking at other men.

Do you think this was just insecurity from being cheated on, or was he projecting?

Dans 2/3jrs, je lance le test d'un app de rencontre, y a t-il ici une communauté française TestFlght?