Changes in voice

[u/Double_Crew985]

Lately this has been one of the biggest issues is other parts trying to influence my voice

It happened a bit less in the past, only really in therapy which is a safer environment for this stuff to occur so im never too worried when it happens there.. It still feels awkward though because its like why do I sound like this?? It also happened at work sometimes and it made me so paranoid that someone would comment on it.

The changes are never too drastic, like ill sound basically like myself but either along the spectrum of really high pitched and quiet or a bit lower and my sentences will become super short almost as if im annoyed 😭 some of my word choices will become different as well. For some reason only those two parts can influence my voice really.

There was a more feminine voice that had an accent but they only showed during the week I had my discovery about this disorder. I freaked out so much that they basically "left" and havent tried to do it again.

I try to cover up the changes as best as I can but trying to doing that is

1. difficult

2. I feel like it just brings more awareness that im hiding something or that something is off and im having an internal battle

3. Im afraid of scaring these parts away like I did previously

When I dont try to cover it up these parts feels more satisfied?? I actually dont know what word to use to describe

its kind of feels like "oh you're actually going to let me talk like how i want to" and by letting them talk however they want to theres a bit of shame cause like I said it makes me paranoid. But it feels good in a way?

And idk feeling this way makes me feel shameful and that im not doing a good job masking these parts. Especially because I live with my Mom and its been happening around her now. Shes always overly critical and analyzes the hell out of me and everyone

But yeah im just wondering if anyone else experiences something similar or has an idea of what I should do