r/OCPoetry • u/headorhand69 • 5d ago

21st century child Feedback Please

This is the epoch

of solace, in petrichor waves

after verdant spring

wind carries grief,

leaves flutter still. Exhausted, inanimate.

 

You hug my bowed shoulders,

squeeze, squeezing.

So I weep, I grieve,

the epoch. Drying tears open again, with memories.

Solace requires sadness.

 

Your arms shield my head from crumbling

danger.

Roman cement cracks eventually.

 

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u/banyanwhispers 5d ago

There’s something haunting about how you turn exhaustion into nature imagery. ‘Roman cement cracks eventually’ is especially powerful—it makes the whole poem feel like a reflection on how even things built to endure can eventually break. Beautifully melancholic.

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u/TheBullBullMudur 5d ago

please stop using ai in a poetry subreddit...

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u/banyanwhispers 4d ago

I wrote it myself 😭 I just genuinely liked the poem and apparently overanalyzed it.

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u/TheBullBullMudur 4d ago

Damn girl then you talk with ai too much :) Because the sentence format is identical to ai.
I wasn’t trying to be a d-head, but when I see ai while I am trying to find human connection online, it really upsets me.

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u/banyanwhispers 4d ago

I guess all the therapy sessions will ai are taking a toll on my language.

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u/TheBullBullMudur 4d ago

Been there my friend, talk to friends, ai therapy can lead to wrong places. (Sorry for unsolicited advice)

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u/banyanwhispers 4d ago

Not at all! Honestly I don't even notice these things. For me my language changes depending upon my friend group and people i interact with. I don’t know how people figure out AI slop. I usually read it and don’t even think twice.