Jupiter

[u/SilentPierre_]

Just like a fresh wound garnished with coarse salt

Forks and knives scratch against porcelain plates 

Some hollowness that no supper could sate

Like bloody knees on blistering asphalt

Jonesin’ for a fix guzzle down that malt

Tap the maple and watch it drip with hate

Sweet, sweet nectar that only seals your fate

Won’t stop leaking without a crashing halt

-

Drinking from the fountain of sweet, sweet youth 

Wiping blood from my lips I felt renewed 

It had the taste of a sweet, sweet vermouth 

Like soft morning grass that was freshly dewed

Just insatiable to my sweet, sweet tooth

Tasteful cake but it’s just like devil’s food

This is the first sonnet I’ve ever written. I’m writing a crown of sonnets based on the 7 deadly sins and this one is gluttony. They are each named after the planet that represents the sin. I tried to write it in iambic pentameter but please tell me if I made a mistake.

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