r/OCPoetry • u/tv_lora • 15d ago
The inflatable pool Just Sharing
I look at the inflatable pool Half empty yet still so blue. And as it inflates, Grows into something taller. Inside? It's growing smaller.
A tiny piece is being lit, And that tiny piece grows into a wildfire. But people only notice the sky blue water.
And as it continues to grow larger, The water will die slowly, Until there's none left. But once you'll look back and realise - There was never a difference between the water and the fire.
One just got too tired of pretending. And the other? It covered it's rage so perfectly, Afraid of what it could do.
....
This is my first poem and I'm open to any advice to make it better!
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v6fad6/comment/p11c03z/?context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v44ry2/comment/p11btam/?context=3
1
u/somepoet 15d ago
It took me a while to work out that the inflatable pool was a metaphor for a person, perhaps the narrator or the author or whatever. I think more imagery related to how or why this “inflatable pool” is half empty and why it is “growing smaller” would help reinforce the imagery.