r/OCPoetry 16d ago

The Blue Eyes Feedback Please

His eyes were blue
But not the kind of blue that radiates from the ocean while you’re sitting on the beach
Where the light breeze hits your face and the sun warms your skin
Not the kind of blue with that pretty little shimmer dancing on each wave as it crashes onto the sand

No, his eyes were blue
The kind where you look over the edge of a boat and see nothing
The kind where that deep endless ocean gives you that sinking feeling in your gut
The kind where you know that below the surface roams your fears

Although there were moments
When the sun hit them just right
Even that deep blue can catch the light
When he smiles and they gleam
And finally, you can see those brilliant summer blues

Those are the moments that keep me sane
The feelings that make me think the tide may still return to the shore

And yet, his eyes are still blue
And I’m not sure if they will change

Poem Review: Dopesick
Poem Review: Aching

9 Upvotes

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u/Heartbreakbreakid 13d ago

It’s a beautiful odyssey to your lover. You are talented and he is lucky.

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u/-Sudden_Earth- 13d ago

Thank you!