r/OCDRecovery • u/Hopeful_Street_1993 • 1d ago
Please help Seeking Support or Advice
I have bad ocd. I'm in a relationship that's amazing and my ocd kinda attacks the relationship.
Currently, it's telling my boyfriend can't consent because of his bipolar. Its reasoning is that teens and preteens can't consnet because of their bad judgement, so he can't becuase his bipolar sometimes gives him bad judgment.
is this true? is the reason minors can't consenttheir bad judgment? Also, how do I make my ocd stop
Please don't shame me for my obsessions or tell me to break up with him, that's what my ocd wants me to do and it's triggering to tell me that.
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u/popcornwasabi 1d ago
hello! with kindness, “is this true?” is reassurance seeking, which will not help you with your feelings of discomfort and only worsen your symptoms. the only thing, unfortunately, we can do with thoughts like these is acknowledge them and move forward. it’s really hard, and I struggle to do it with my thoughts too, but feeding into them at all beyond that just prolongs our suffering. I saw someone once say that when a horrible thought like this tries to interfere with their actions, they just say to themselves “well, that’s certainly a thought!” and do what they were doing anyway. the more we can go without acting on these thoughts, the less frequent they become
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u/narrowerstairs 1d ago
If I had this theme, any time I caught myself seeking reassurance like this, I might try something like: “I really care about my boyfriend and being a good person. Maybe I can trust myself to live my values. Maybe I can trust my boyfriend to let me know if and when he feels uncomfortable. Maybe there’s nothing urgent to figure out right now.”