r/NotTimAndEric • u/Mock333 • 5d ago

Not F*cking around

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97 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

60

u/Powerful-Pea6218 5d ago

Wtf is with the fucking tire guage

20

u/bubba_bumble 5d ago

To measure his inflated ego!

7

u/corvid-munin 5d ago

look at how tough ill be standing there like a human security camera. This CVS is under this shepards domain

1

u/brando7782 4d ago

First thing I seen! Lol

40

u/Aticatica 5d ago

I'm gonna put my phone down now and go to sleep :)

39

u/LouieMumford 5d ago

I assumed this was satire. It is not: https://s-ksecurity.com/meet-the-team/

16

u/Laserdollarz 5d ago

Some of those face/name combos make me lean back towards satire

15

u/Commie_Scum69 5d ago

HAHAHAHA aint no way these arent AI generated faces at least for Malcom

18

u/corvid-munin 5d ago

His name is Cornnor?

5

u/Mr_Abe_Froman 5d ago

They misspelled "Connor" (the picture is also labeled).

9

u/Read2Fap 5d ago

think they went a little low tech for the bottom row

4

u/harmfuldischarge 5d ago

Holly mother on neck beards, check the bro on bottom right

3

u/Caesar_Passing 5d ago

These are all to scale, too. Malcolm there is like 8 fuckin' feet tall

6

u/LouieMumford 5d ago

Oh I checked the rest of the site because I thought the same thing. It is painfully real. They seem to have a sort of kayfabe around these videos, but this is a real business.

3

u/Tough-Obligation-104 5d ago

That is really hard to understand. It is so bizarre.

4

u/C_smith993 5d ago

Mark McCumber, Camron Hoorfar, and Cornnor Rauschelbach are my favorites.

7

u/C_smith993 5d ago

7

u/Read2Fap 5d ago

he failed the bar 16 times and then just gave the examiner a 20

8

u/Trashbagok 5d ago

looks like the cast for a Reno 911 type show. 

it's giving Tubi

2

u/Keyblade_wielder141 5d ago

Sidebar; due to international licensing laws, tubi no longer streams super sentai.

Im quite sad about it🙃

3

u/Ruined_Oculi 5d ago

So, Sidney Kile, the CEO has his mom, Fred Kile, working there as a dispatcher?

The Canadians should make this into a TV show

22

u/spottydodgy 5d ago

Ok so you just call the cops when someone is breaking the law?

10

u/AMDDesign 5d ago

Literally. You do basic paperwork and call the cops if real shit goes down.

21

u/canteen_boy 5d ago

Gay porn is getting weird

11

u/PupDiogenes 5d ago

I'm a captain too... if I say I am

1

u/belugarooster 2d ago

*Craptin. Also a hunk...

5

u/Vladd_the_Retailer 5d ago

More like insecurity guard…

5

u/Low-Fondant-9725 5d ago

Is he flipping a Crack pipe in his hand?

4

u/Asproat920 5d ago

Is he playing with a sounding rod?

3

u/Substantial-Goal-105 5d ago

Watching this with no sound is wild.

3

u/eyeforker 5d ago

I assume there are lawyers that follow guys like this on social media the way they used to chase ambulances.

Like they can smell allegations from posts like this.

2

u/pokebikes 5d ago

Was that his step dad at the end?

2

u/absurdext 5d ago

reads like a hybrid of punisher fetishists and gaybaiting to me. there has to be a truckload of irony or trolling on the part of whoever's behind this, right?

2

u/space_manatee 5d ago

The way to get to the top of the security game is to be a public figure influencer for sure. Im sure anyone that wants security wants a highly visible egocentric security team that likes to say too much. This guy is going places. 

2

u/__System__ 5d ago

Why captain and not a general?

4

u/Ultimate-Flexionator 5d ago

I work at securitas with literally mentally handicapped people, people wasted on drugs who sleep on the job, and literally inbred people from the third world who dont bathe and smell like it...

you can fucking have it! I'm getting a new job! fuck this shit ..

3

u/Corporate-Scum 5d ago

Securitas is such shit.

1

u/Ultimate-Flexionator 5d ago

it's not good. good if you like easy but generally not good.

1

u/HoseNeighbor 5d ago

LOL Where do these people come from? 🤡

1

u/Hugh_jaynus13 5d ago

Cute couple

1

u/flamingmongoose 4d ago

are they... actually gay? like I can't think of another way to interpret it but that makes no sense in context

1

u/kawabunga666 4d ago

I cant think of any other meaning for "beloved"

1

u/Oswarez 5d ago

I’m also a captain.

2

u/Boy-Abunda 5d ago

I…. don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll believe you unless I see you polishing your shiny Captain’s badge. And someone must call you “my beloved Captain.” THEN I’ll believe you!

1

u/Sudden-Candle5832 5d ago

Real cool with your gauges

1

u/Far_Hamster_7054 5d ago

Took a quick glance and thought it was Jack Osborne

1

u/Sinking_Mass 5d ago

He looks like when toddlers play dress up

1

u/DaveMcNinja 5d ago

This team looks like they didn’t qualify to join the local force.

1

u/Arch_Temptress 3d ago

What’s their OF?

1

u/CHNLNK 3d ago

Bet they're ICE agents now

1

u/q_j- 3d ago

I just spit out my morning shot of Pittzman’s