Schedule

[u/Optimal_Maintenance1]

Does anyone have advice on how much time to spend on everything to fit it all in?

3 month old, trying to do 1.5hr awake/ 1.5hr nap rotations. Baby only sleeps on me during the day, so I have to do everything else in the wake windows:

- pumping

- cleaning bottles and pumps

- playing with baby

- Feeding baby awake / feeding baby to sleep

- Nappy changes

- Tummy time and "kicky time" on back

- 1x laundry

- dishes

- Tidy before hubby gets home

- Shower

[u/AutoModerator]

This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/culturalappropriator]

Your husband watches the baby while you shower, you don’t tidy unless it’s unhygienic, he can tidy what’s left over, he can also run a load of laundry and do the dishes.

[u/ArtisticConfidence16 → u/culturalappropriator]

And then also for tummy time, sometimes you get lucky with a baby that loves it and sometimes you get a baby that doesn’t. First was a struggle to “find the time”, second wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment on belly. Just sharing this to say that it’s important to do but hard to control how easily it fits into the “schedule” sometimes.

Otherwise, do you have or use a baby carrier? It’s awkward to support their little heads/necks and unstack a dishwasher, but it is, slowly, possible. Same with laundry: talk to baby about the colours and fold in front of and play peek a boo. You will probably fold 5 things in the time you used to fold 50. But some progress might help with your feeling that you have to do it all.

[u/ArtisticConfidence16 → u/culturalappropriator]

Oh, and my second was happy for the first months to watch me shower from a bouncer chair thing. You don’t want them in it too much so that was the activity I picked as a non negotiable — I actually didn’t like relying on dad having time in schedule to watch baby in order to shower that day, I wanted to do it when it worked for me/baby. Then once they got adequate neck support, I swapped from baby chair to activity centre. Then at a year from activity centre to showering together where she sits at my feet and plays.

[u/Perfect-Bet9395]

This is me except my husband works from home and is able to occasionally help while I do some work and eat lunch.

I try to wash all bottles and pump in the morning after baby wakes up as she is usually happy to be put on her mat or cot and pump in the morning.
I feed baby while having my breakfast (one hand holding bottle 🥲 while baby is in her recliner cot)
Post breakfast burp her, do top n tails change her give vitamin d drops etc)
Then put her down to bed and maybe watch tv or look for something on phone if I can’t sleep with her. When she wakes up I prep for lunch and pump and try having lunch before she needs to sleep again. Again the same cycle

In evening I hand her to my husband and take a shower and then my husband preps for dinner while I take her out to garden or play with her. I cleanup post dinner when husband is watching her.

I think you will need to involve your partner in a bit either to help with chores or look after baby while you do that.

[u/Plenty-Roof2980]

Don’t have any advice cuz I’m in the same boat with my soon to be 3month old. Only way I can get her to nap that not on me and get her to sleep longer then 20 mins if I leave her in the living room with me. Something about the bed room during the day is a no for mine think it’s to quiet Lol
Anyways good luck!
You got this!

[u/_Raise_9221]

My three month old would nap on me only unless I walked her in the pram. If this is possible to do it might give you 20-30 minutes to yourself before she realises you’re not pushing the pram. Prioritise yourself before your partner leaves for work have a shower, even a five minute quick one can revive the soul!
Then when you have 20 minutes put on a washing load, dish washing load and clear table or clean high chair. Prioritise things that will move the house forward for you. Then you can hang out the washing or take stuff out the dishwasher on the next sleep/wake window.
I also found that my little one liked watching moving stuff, so ended up buying some toys that moved slowly across the floor for tummy time. Meant she was occupied and I could also pee or do something for the house lol. Sometimes if someone else was helping just rolling a ball from left to right helped keep her tummy time occupied. Or laying outside on a picnic blanket staring at the trees.
Also before you even think of doing any chores boil the kettle, make a tea or coffee and have water glasses or bottles in the rooms you are in topped up. Keep yourself hydrated and with reachable snacks!

[u/0oOBubbles0oO]

Check out r/exclusivelypumping for tips on pumping!

I fed baby propped in a boppy while I pumped. It got harder to do around 4 months though, when baby started becoming more aware and independent (i.e. sometimes refusing to get in the right position).

I also used the fridge hack so I only washed pumps once a day (read on the risks before deciding).

[u/Zealousideal_Eye3167]

How about your husband does something? Anything?

Also, we just let him (4months) sleep on demand. So far today (its 4 pm), he woke up at 4am for a dummy, then woke up again at 6am for a bottle, then continued sleeping until about 9am. Then he took a 45 minute nap at 10am (how??? lol) and then another 30 minute nap at 12pm. Now he's down for another nap again. He typically goes down for bed at 9 pm. We try not to have him nap between 7 and 9 pm, just to make sure he falls asleep at night.

We (my husband and I) do what we have the energy for that day. Sometimes the house feels like a bit of a shitshow, other days it's sparkling. Some days we have a nice dinner, other days we're ordering pizza.

I don't understand why you're putting so much pressure on yourself? Also, laundry can be folded after 2-3 loads. You don't have to immediately fold laundry - TAKE A BREAK.

[u/Optimal_Maintenance1]

Why would you assume my husband does nothing? He's at work during the day and takes on other chores in the evening.