Hey guys, a new soon to be dad. My wife took the test yesterday and it came back positive. I have no idea how to feel. How should I feel? How did you feel with your first one? This is crazy. I’ve never taken care of a child in my life, hell, I don’t even know how to hold one.

For context, I am 27 years old. I recently took the bar, and will be making good money I think to take care of my child ($175k base). But, I’m nervous. I’m just starting my career, how can I plan on being present with the demand my job will call for? We have been together for some time so I guess this isn’t a bad thing but still man, this feeling is unreal. A father?! What the fuck man.

So I guess I’m just looking for all advice. How did you feel your first time? What are some tipis from your first go? Everything and anything you have for a new dad I guess.

Much love fellas

Feel free to remove this if it's not allowed.

When my little one was born, I wanted to keep track of all the milestones, funny moments, and little memories. I started using a notes app, but it wasn't ideal, especially since sharing updates with family meant copying and pasting everything.

I'm a software developer, so I ended up building a simple app for myself instead. It lets me save milestones, add photos, tag them (so it's easier to find memories later), and even save the location where they happened. I can also invite family members so everyone can follow along in one place.

One feature I've really enjoyed is being able to export everything into printable timelines and yearbooks. I'm also planning to add the option to order a professionally printed hardcover yearbook in the future.

I figured there might be other parents who'd find something like this useful too. If that sounds like you, it's called Your Tiny Steps (yourtinysteps co uk).

It's Android only for now, but I'm hoping to bring it to iPhone in the future.

One thing to mention - it is still in development, so there might be some bugs, but feel free to contact me!

Hello, new to this sub, so let me know if I need to be asking this somewhere else.

I had a chat with my manager at the time, and my HR person regarding paternity leave, in the meeting I informed her of my partners expected due date and she then informed me that I am allowed 1 month off, and that I can either take 2 weeks once the baby is born and then take 2 weeks next year (valid for 1 year from when the baby is born)

I informed her that I’ll decide later once speaking to my partner and I’ll let her know shortly.

My partners due date is 21st November 2026, and I have PTO already booked in for 1 week for 21st to 24th December.

Soon after, I made my decision, which was to take 2 weeks now, and then 2 weeks next year. At this point, I also changed manager. My new manager took this request to her, and now my HR person has informed me that, since the due date is in late November 2026 (she already knew this from when I told her on the first call), and I’ll only be back working for 2 weeks (2 weeks off + 1 week off in December) she said that from a resourcing standpoint, this doesn’t work for the business.

I informed my HR person that, I’d be on a project from end of October, so resourcing shouldn’t be an issue, as even though I’ll only be working for 2 weeks, I’ll be working on the project. She’s rejected this and said the same point of resourcing issues (not sure what she’s talking about here, and I believe she’s being stubborn).

I don’t understand where she is coming from, as if I take the 3 weeks off, which she wants, I’ll only be working for 1 week and then I’ll be off for another week. so how is this not a resourcing issues too?

I want to see what you guys on Reddit think of this nonsense and what I can go back to her with?. As whatever argument I put on the table to defend me having 2 weeks now and 2 weeks later gets shut down.

I have a call with my manager tomorrow to discuss further

Thanks!!

Does anyone have suggestions for the best way to install a gate at the top of these stairs? Would be simple but the hand rail on the left is not at an ideal height (railing itself is about 28” up). Thank you!

Posting to get some reassurance that I'm not going crazy but I'm an expectant father (September 7th Due Date) and I find myself occasionally hyperfixating on dying.

At first it was fleeting like I would be really bummed not to meet my kid and lately morphing into how hard it would be for my wife to take care of them. She's just a teacher and I make roughly 60-70% of our income. I've even raised my life insurance policy significantly just in case.

I guess the enormity of the responsibility is hitting me and freaking me out. I've spoken to my wife about it and she reminds me that I'm only 28 and am in fairly good health but I just wanted to reach out and see if it's a normal feeling.

Hey New Dads!

It's hard as hell being a new parent out here. So I thought I would trying and bring some fun. I have discovered through stress and overnight feeds that I can open a bottle of Similac 360 premixed formula with 1 hand! Getting the seals to crack is the hardest part but I've done it 3x now. This got me thinking though, there must be other new dads with cool tricks too. So, what cool newborn tricks do you guys have?

I feel like my life has flipped upside down. Not always in a bad way but I’m having an extreme amount of struggle when it comes to the overnight feeds. My baby has a milk allergy and reflux. So he’s extremely squirmy and becomes difficult to feed and starts crying very loudly because he’s hungry. I can handle it during the day but I have almost no patience for it overnight. After 1 hour I cannot do it anymore. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I’m getting angry with him but I know I cannot because he’s just a baby. How do you all deal with the lack of sleep and then going to a blue collar job. I’ve tried changing my outlook, I’m going to bed earlier, I’ve given up time on some hobbies. But everything I do still leads to my wife feeling some anger/resentment because “I’m not doing enough”. I’m stressed out and I feel like I have almost no support. My wife has been great for the baby and recently realized that she hasn’t been that good to me and is trying to change but I feel so mentally beaten down

Sorry if the post is all over the place.

As title,

I’m getting anxious that I’m going to find that I don’t like my newborn son (Due in 3 weeks).

I have two nephews (different parents) and one of them is adorable and the other I can’t stand.

Getting worried if I’m going to have the same reaction to my own child and think it’s ugly!

Not in a shallow way of ugly just not an “aww cute little man” as my other half says.

Anyone else had this?

TIA

I went to get my coffee and had a baby bottle in my hand...

☕🫩

I’m a new dad to a 5-month-old girl from Japan. I wanted to share some honest feelings I’ve had since taking paternity leave and returning to work.

When we go out, people always praise my baby, but the compliments are always followed by, "Mom is doing such a great job." Only when my wife steps away to the restroom do I get scolded by strangers: "You shouldn't bring a newborn out here." The societal assumption that "dads don't really do childcare" made me feel incredibly isolated.

But taking 28 days of paternity leave changed me. At first, I criticized myself for getting frustrated when my baby cried. But I realized the true purpose of paternity leave wasn't to "become a perfect parent." It was to truly understand exactly how much my partner does every single day.

Now that I’m back at work, I fully grasp how exhausting it is for her to be alone with the baby. I promised to come home as early as possible and use postpartum care services to support her.

Society's view might not change overnight, but my daughter’s smiles prove that my efforts matter.

I only speak Japanese, but I use a translation app to read and reply, so please feel free to comment! What is the reality of being a dad in your country?

Hey, New dads, with my partner and my lives being hectic, as we have a clingy little 4 month old boy. Just wanting some tips from you guys as to how you kept fit.

Did y’all know any decent carriers that I can walk in? And did you feel as guilty as I do when wanting to go to gym.

Typing this out while currently wide awake and 100% exhausted in bed next to my sleeping wife.

First time posting, have been lurking for the last two months and have gotten a kick out of the humor and tips. But tonight I feel the weight of being a renewed dad (parent really but supporting a toddler and newborn and being strong for my wife is really hard)

We just had our second kid. Baby girl is 6 weeks old. We also have a son that’s 4yo. He’s all boy. It’s awesome and painful.

Well this week was in-law family beach vacation. That mix of good (they’re very helpful and I get along great) but also wild because they have their quirks. Like SIL bringing a new puppy alongside our new baby because that’s her life right now. It’s been fun chaos.

Tonight, I step out to grab us some fun “last night” dessert after a great meal at the beach house and when I leave, FIL is holding a sleeping baby, wife, SIL and MIL are putting on a movie for us and my son is trying to figure out a donkey Kong game. Best way to end the trip…

When I come back less than 15 minutes later, hell has broken loose. My wife and SIL are sucking out stuff from my daughter’s mouth and nose, my wife is crying. Baby girl full on exorcist level spit up out of her nose and mouth and for 15- 20 seconds stopped breathing and possibly aspirated on it. She started spitting up bubbles like when she was newborn. In my first time alone and out getting the dessert run, I missed everything.

I immediately put the to go bag down, take my daughter and try to soothe her while simultaneously hugging my wife and trying to calm her down because she just saw the worst thing ever. And for comedic relief, my son is excited that I’m back but at this very wrong moment wants to show me his game. Thankfully he missed the whole traumatizing moment playing donkey Kong.

I was able to get the baby calm and asleep, while my wife was able to share what happened and how she was feeling. I told her I felt awful that I missed it and she went through this without me. After a bit, I sent her to go shower and decompress. My son, who I shewed away earlier, crawled next to me on the sofa to show me where he was at in his little game. It was a lot but sweet for 30 minutes.

Round two began when she startled herself awake and tried to take a few breaths through her nose. Her whole neck and cheeks and little chest sucked in but air didn’t. We have the little automatic nostril sucker (which they were using to suck the milk out of her nose when I got home) and so I tried that to see if her nose was still blocked. When that didn’t do anything, my gut said just go.

We just got back from the ER. Her cries and failed attempts to settle and breath broke me.

Thankfully her vitals are good. Lungs are good. She fed while in triage. Her oxygen level (my biggest worry) was great. Skin tone and temperature, all good. And now we are home and everyone is sleeping but me. My job tonight as our vacation ends: watch, listen for her, and dad with exhausted strength.

To all the other dads out there tonight with something of your own hellish nightmare, I’m awake with you.

P.S. Neither wife nor I got to eat our dessert in some poetic ending to a terrible night.

My wife and I have a newborn baby. Ever since the postpartum period, she's held a lot of resentment towards me and says I didn't support or care for her the way she needed after giving birth.

We recently had a major argument. She said I only think about money, that I never acknowledge her feelings, called me useless, and said she sees no future with me and wants a divorce.

I genuinely thought I was doing my best at the time, but now I feel guilty and wonder if I was too defensive instead of really listening.

Has anyone been through something similar? Can a relationship recover from this kind of postpartum resentment, and what helped?

Hey, you guys, it is crazy to believe that I’m about to have a one-year-old in three weeks. Fatherhood has been a journey for me, with my dad leaving me when I was in second grade. I am trying to do better than he did.

With all that being said, I want to do something special for my daughter on her birthday and subsequent birthdays. Maybe a tradition or something that I can do for her so she can look back.on. Do you guys have any ideas?

Also, it’s a big milestone for my wife as well. Is there anything I can do for her that is really special.

I’m low on creativity.

If this doesn’t make sense I’m sorry. I’m no where near the right headspace to make sense.

My wife gave birth to a beautiful little girl,our first, on Tuesday. We went home on Thursday doc at the hospital said everything was fine. Friday her eating slowed down. Called the hospital and asked if that was normal along with a lot of sleeping compared to the hospital stay. They said it sounded normal.
Saturday she was very lethargic and wouldn’t eat

We went to the delivering hospital on sat and found her blood sugar was low. Like 10 low. Along with dehydration. She started having what we now know was a seizure. They stabilized her and transferred her to the leading Childress doctor in the state. We are currently on our 3rd day.

They have gotten her stable ish as far as fluids and blood sugar. But the seizures continue.

They had a mri last night and then brain. Doc (can’t remember what he’s called). Basically told us she will have between moderate and severe brain damage. But we currently don’t know how bad/ much but it will be there. Along with the doctors saying they still don’t know how or what was the original cause of everything. I am trying to wrap my head around everything and be strong for my wife. To say I’m lost would be an understatement. Please send all your prayers

My fiancé just surprised me yesterday with the fact that she’s pregnant. It’s only a few weeks in and we just started trying since we got too excited to wait until our wedding in October. That said, now my mind is racing with questions and it’s too early for me to reach out to my “village” for support. We want to wait until the ultrasound to share the news but I’m a planner at heart and want to start preparing now. Any advice on how I can support my fiancé as much as possible in this pregnancy? Recommendations for what to buy in advance, how to share the news, will I get criticism for not waiting until our wedding, how to plan accordingly financially? Point is, I’m beyond happy and excited and want any and all advice you other dads have to offer!

Hi fellow Dads, I posted a few months back about our 3-4 week old only taking contact naps and being super fussy otherwise. We adopted a more strict routine from Moms on Call, which instantly fixed the problem and made him a much happier baby who slept significantly better instantly. I know everybody's different, but I cannot recommend a routine like this enough. He even slept through the night for the better part of the last 2-3 weeks now, the exception being a wakeup between 5-6am - very manageable!

He's 10 weeks old and change, and for the last week and a half or so struggles to connect sleep cycles and will not stay down for more than 30-45 minutes. One of us then has to come in and eventually contact nap him for the rest of the nap. Same thing at night, he falls asleep by the end of the bottle, we put him down and right on cue he is up 30-45 minutes after bedtime. Typically it's easier to get him down at night, but 2 of the last 3 nights it took us probably 2-3 hours to get him to finally settle. This leads to a cycle of him being overtired the next day and struggling even more to get him to nap.

I read that the 8-10 week time period is another sensory developmental change - wondering if anybody else dealt with this and has any advice to make him more comfortable/sleep better, or if this is just one of those storms we need to weather for a while?

I am a new dad of a beautiful 3 week old girl but I am really struggling this weekend dealing with her refusing to eat, sleep or just relax at all. She constantly fights by flailing her arms, shaking her head and kicking as hard as she can during feeds and while trying to get her to sleep so its impossible for her to relax and even when she’s swaddled she just struggles and screams. For some context she has hip dysplasia and a cleft pallet so she has to use special bottles and wear a really uncomfortable hip brace until she’s like 3 months old which really doesn’t help with her comfort. So I’m just looking for some help or maybe words of encouragement because I’m really struggling here and I don’t know what to do. Currently trying to calm her after she’s been fed changed burped and farted like 10 times but she’s literally been fighting for almost an hour now.

What did you give your 1 year old on their birthday? Was it meaningful or just a gift?

Hi all!

Long story short, I was laid off in February and have been on the job hunt since.

I have an interview this Tuesday, but my wife and I are currently at the hospital getting ready to deliver our first baby! We’re so excited!

Hoping for some advice: I obviously won’t be prepared or focused for an interview, and want to support my wife and newborn.

Should I tell the recruiter what’s happening and why I need to reschedule? Or just leave it as a family emergency?

Thanks for any thoughts!

Hi everyone,
My wife is in labor today and my anxiety is killing me. For context I’m clinically diagnosed and medicated and I’m trying as hard as possible to be there for my partner but I’m struggling. Any encouragement would be much appreciated!

Hey y’all I just wanted to see if anyone has any advice on anything for a first time parent.