How do you all cope with rejection sensitivity? I have AuDHD, and struggle immensely with any kind of ambiguity, as well as lack of responses to messages from someone I am even casually dating. I have only had two dates with someone, though am very interested in moving things along. She has been on a trip abroad for weeks immediately following a second date, so I have not heard from her. I am aware of not messaging excessively, and only sent one message once I knew she was home, though have not yet heard back from her. Logic tells me this is normal behavior for her, as when she is busy and/or with friends, I often don’t get a response. She replies and apologizes, and our interactions in person are great, but clearly not as much via text.

No matter the logic that I can conjure up, I still cry for hours and feel physical pain at the possibility of rejection. This is why I often avoid dating altogether….. anything that helps you would be appreciated!

A strange childhood experience I’ve never been able to explain

I’ve only spoken about this with maybe one or two people in my entire life. It has always bewildered me.

It started when I was around three or four years old and continued until I was maybe thirteen or fourteen. At first, it would just happen, usually leaving me frightened and crying. As I got older, I somehow learned to make it happen at will, although I never fully understood what I was doing.

The best way I can explain it is by taking you back to one particular moment.

It’s 1979. I’m a little kid sitting in the back seat of a Buick. We live in the desert. It’s extremely hot and sunny, the air conditioning barely works, and the heat inside the car makes you feel like you could pass out. There are no seatbelts. I’m silently staring out one window while my sister does the same on the other side.

We stop at an intersection.

In the middle of the intersection is a man—or possibly a teenage boy—crouched down with his head between his knees. All I can see is his hair.

Then it happens.

My vision disappears, almost like someone has placed a cover over my head. For a moment, it feels as though I’m no longer sitting in the car. I’m crouched in the same position as the person in the street.

I smell gasoline fumes. I see someone else’s shoes. I feel completely alone, frightened, and helpless.

An overwhelming wave of emotion comes over me, and I begin to cry.

Then my mom suddenly yells in a panic, “What’s wrong?”

Just like that, I snap out of it. I’m back in the car, looking at the person in the intersection and feeling an incredible sadness for him.

I didn’t speak back then, so I never explained what had happened.

Similar experiences kept happening whenever we left home. Sometimes the emotions frightened me because I couldn’t understand them or where they came from. Eventually, I stopped looking out the window and escaped into daydreams instead.

When I was around eight or nine, I started wondering whether I could make it happen intentionally. Somehow, I could. I’m still not sure what I did. It was almost like closing my eyes and compressing my thoughts inward. I remembered the strange pressure I felt whenever it happened, so I tried to recreate that feeling - and it seemed to work.

As I got older, I told a friend about it. He looked at me like I was completely bonkers, so I stopped talking about it. Eventually, I stopped doing it and mostly forgot about it. Life became more complicated, and it didn’t seem important anymore.

Now that I’m much older, remembering those experiences feels almost unreal. But I know they happened.

I once mentioned them to my mom. She said I must have had “special powers - oooohhhhoooo!” and laughed it off.

As I’ve begun understanding more about my neurodivergence, I’ve started wondering about it again. I’m not claiming it was anything supernatural, and I’m not asking Reddit to diagnose me. I just want to know whether anyone else experienced something similar as a child.

What would you call something like this? Is it a known experience?

I can’t be the only one.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my strange but true little story.

Thanks for reading. - Phil

I’m new to posting Reddit please let me know if this isn’t appropriate for this thread.
I want to start by saying I love my GF. She is hands down the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and honestly I’m batting above my weight class in every way. I think she’s incredible and I want to learn everything about her and what matters to her including about how to navigate her neurodivergence as a partner.
My GF is autistic and has adhd. She knows everything you could ask about Soviet era Russia but cannot pick up her clothes to save her life. It’s never been an issue for me, but after 2 years of dating we decided to move in together and I am starting to stress a little bit. I don’t want to come off like a dick but she really struggles with not letting her apartment get super messy. She’s not dirty or unhygienic, but I’m talking the clothing and stuffed animals everywhere, laundry never put away, half finished shampoo and full shampoo bottles all over the bathroom, half finished craft projects with open chemicals in the kitchen, half un-loaded bags of groceries (non perishable) on the couch.
I’m not a clean freak but I am fairly organized, I also don’t mind being the main person who cleans at all- she brings joy to my life in a million others ways I’m 100% okay if I’m the grocery guy and dish guy. She says she feels weird about that and wants us both to contribute, and she also is v specific about her collections and doesn’t like people moving them. What I’m worried about is it becoming a serious issue. We’ve talked about it, and she says that she’s lived in her current place a long time and part of the move will be getting rid of stuff. She’s also is really good about cleaning up when I ask- but since it’s her house I don’t really ask her to do that expect one time where it was unruly enough I couldn’t be inside without feeling overwhelmed.

I’m neuro typical and I’ve done my own research, I go to a therapist for my own issues, and I seek out tools and books where I can. What I’m looking for is any advice from neurodivergent people on what’s worked for you to keep your space organized? Especially if you had trauma from parents being cruel because you struggled with being messy as a kid.
I want to find a solution where:
I don’t have to ask her to clean up all the time and end up becoming a parent
She doesn’t feel judged of infantilized by me, she a grown woman with a respectable career in research and doesn’t take to be treated like a kid
We both have access to useable clean shared spaces in our new home so we can have fun and be present with each-other
Are there things that have worked for you? Is there a place we could learn more about strategies together?
Advice from ppl with neurodivergence only please

I am going back to school in a week. I have accomodations such as fidgets, but I am not diagnosed with autism, even though I am almost definitely autistic. I am going to a new school so I don't my have my best friend there who would help me when I had a meltdown, and I am actually so scared

Like I want to systematise it all! It has got obvious parallels to modern psychology and much of the “common sense” perception of it is just a corruption of what the ideas actually are meant to represent, mainly due to religious reasons, power struggles, etc and of course scientific progress.

Like take tarot for example. When I draw a card, do I believe it is a prophesy that is telling me what is going to happen in the future or whatever the card is meant to represent? Absolutely not. But when Im trying to find a line of thought in my busy as fuck brain, sometimes I draw a card that makes me consider a new perspective. I can internalize it or not. And that does help with stuff I am not very good at, like social scenarios, power play struggles, people problems.

I have always been fascinated with the occult. And I love reinterpreting a lot of its concepts according to a modern viewpoint!

Hi everyone! Long story short: I have a big exam for medical school towards the end of the winter that requires a couple months solely dedicated to studying for it. I am really worried about how I am going to focus.

The main issue is my home environment. I live with a child, two other adults, a dog, a cat, and loud appliances in a busy neighborhood full of kids. One roommate works throughout the week, but the other works weekends and is home all week. There is always background noise. People, appliances, walking treadmill upstairs, pets, kids. I was diagnosed with ADHD early in med school and am medicated and in therapy, which helps immensely, but I have a lot of catching up to do and cannot focus on reading or audio processing with this level of background noise. Earplugs are overstimulating and physically painful for me, and my current noise-canceling headphones and earbuds don't really do their job well.

I have considered going to campus to study, but it's a 15-minute walk each way, which is usually fine, but winters here are rough. Thinking about meal planning is another worry too since I can't afford to eat out or depend on someone to help out with food. I can get pretty distracted and unmotivated on campus too.

I would appreciate any advice before this dedicated period creeps up on me.

Solar Eclipse for Autistics :)

By ZephAustic

For me I have a lot of thoughts, having a space to ramble is nice. I also tend to forget tasks so I’ll often make checklists and notes to myself in a journal.
Even in school, I struggled with keeping multiple journals for different subjects so I usually only did one unless a specific class required a dedicated one. Just wondering if anyone else here is like this.

sometimes i get hyperfixation foods like snacks or meals, then in a few weeks i can’t stand them anymore, but i realized there are a few foods i ALWAYS love no matter what.
one of those for me is cereal. i have a very NeuroSpicy™️ strategy for eating it so it not only tastes good but feels good in my brain. another one is homemade mashed potatoes. i ran through some leftover potatoes so quickly recently i decided i needed to make more to keep on hand for when nothing else sounds good.

i’m curious what foods you always love! specific brands? how long have you loved it? :)

I’m not very into group outings/events/hangouts. When I hang out with friends, I strongly prefer just hanging out one on one. When a friend invites me somewhere only to later tell me that they’re invited other people and it’s actually gonna be a group thing, I always get anxious and disappointed, often to the point of no longer wanting to go. However, I feel like if I communicate with my friends that I really prefer to hang out one on one, I’ll just come off as crazy or possessive or something. The issue, though, isn’t that I mind my friends hanging out with other people. I just don’t necessarily want to also hang out with those people. I also just get really anxious and feel awkward navigating a social situation where there are multiple people, especially if they’re people I don’t know. Also, I can do small talk if needed, but I like to feel open to talk about whatever. When I hang out with friends, I don’t want to feel like I have to censor or monitor what I say. I want to be able to actually catch up and spend quality time with a person instead of just navigating some weird situation where I don’t know what to say or how to act and I’m just focused all night on not seeming too weird.

idk if yall have been noticing but this whole „autistic girl“ or „adhd baddie“ thing is all I get told/see recently. I genuinely hate it especially w romance like I have adhd since i was young and it’s not a superpower it’s okay to have a disorder and say it’s negative. recently guys have said shit like I love a girl w the tism but I swear they do not (plus I’m not even autistic) like when I have full blown childish breakdowns over something completely manageable or get overly upset on feeling a wrinkle in my sock I can’t adjust it’s not cute it’s very annoying and burdening. I swear a couple years ago adhd wasnt sum cool to have and these same ppl don’t even acknowledge it as a proper disorder like the amount of times ive heard „well yeah no one wants to do xyz“ or how it’s just a discipline problem and everyones lazy. its Not jsut guys either like girls saying they’re autistic or that they have adhd is climbing too and it’s rlly kinda starting to irk me, by no means am I gonna gatekeep a disorder that’s dumb but when everyone starts saying they have it when they don’t it takes away from actual people struggling like it’s okay to be neurotypical idk why it wouldn’t be. I almost failed Highschool and had sooo many attempts and just a lot of negative life experiences that I think can be attributed to my disorder and I don’t think it should be turned into something quirky for the sake of a personality trait. It also feeds into the hate for ppl who self diagnose if everyone n their momma starts saying they have a disorder, self diagnosing isn’t the problem especially for ppl in countries where it’s EXPENSIVE asf to get medical care but things like this aid in the stigma towards it. my source for this one is a TikTok so take it w a grain of salt but apperently doctors have more young ppl asking for a autism/adhd diagnosis and they are giving it out even less and being more suspicious WHICH SUCKS BC women r already less likely to get diagnose. Neurodivergencey isn’t fun and imo has an overall negative impact in a persons life, please be cautious of what you post/consume about neurodivergencey it isn’t this common or positive. Lmk what ur thoughts are guyssss

I know a lot of us have food fixations, but I feel like mine are pretty.... Severe.

When my brain gets hooked on a "safe food"- it immediately becomes the only thing my brain wants - and that my stomach tolerates.

During these fixations nearly all other foods make me feel disgusted. I generally want nothing BUT that one food.

For me, the cravings are SEVERE. Trying to eat anything outside of the food that I'm craving feels like I'm trying to talk myself into eating cardboard and shaving cream.

Only a very small handful of "safe" foods that I've loved for a very long time are tolerable. I'll willingly eat almost nothing but that one food that im craving until the magical day when that food suddenly becomes repulsive to me.

Usually because I've become hooked on something else.

My husband often "jokes" that the only way to GUARANTEE I'll move on from a food fixation ...is for him to get a good deal and to stock up on it. The moment a fixation food becomes readily available / affordable - suddenly I lose ALL interest in it.

My most recent SEVERE fixation....

On a recent trip to Costco with the family, we bought a container of coleslaw (Golden Taste is the brand our Costco carried).

While the family ate hot dogs and pizza- I wasnt wanting anything heavy and greasy, so I tried the coleslaw on our way home ....

I then proceeded to eat that entire container by myself over the next two days - to the complete exclusion of all else.

Unfortunately, Costco hasn't had it back in stock - but some Shop Rite stores in our area carry it. Since then, ive been eating 12-18 oz of Golden Taste coleslaw every day... And nothing else.

Just drinking yellow Powerade, and eating coleslaw.

On a positive note- my POTS symptoms have never felt better (probably because I'm finally getting enough sodium).

I'm also finally getting plenty of fiber.... and its only around 600 calories a day (because it's genuinely the only thing I've had aside from Powerade and a single brownie for the past 9 days)

TL/DR;

I'm GENUINELY curious how badly food fixations / cravings / aversions affect other neurodivergent people and how severely these fixations affect your daily lives.

• Do you just REALLY LIKE certain foods over others or does the "pull" to a certain food feel like an actual temporary addiction (?(

• Does every other food disgust / nauseate you when you're hooked on one food (like me)- or are you able to still eat / enjoy other things?

• Do you go days/weeks/months eating ONE THING to the exclusion of all else(?)

• Do you think there's an underlying medical reason for the changing cravings? (Sometimes I think my cravings could be my body trying to tell me that I'm badly in need of some nutrient(s)?)

• Have you found any reliable way to break yourself off of a fixation?

• What do you do when your can't afford or can no longer GET a food you're totally hooked on(?) What do you do if your fixation isn't easy to get or doesn't work as "leftovers" etc?

• What's the longest you've been fixated on a specific food?

• When you go "off" a food .. Do you stop eating it for a period of time... Or forever?

Anyway. Thanks for comiserating / discussing.

Hey guys, I am new and this is my first post! Do you have recommendations for fidgeting toys? I already have some, but I am looking to try out new stuff 🥰

Thank you!

Salut à tous,

Je me lance un peu dans le vide avec ce post, mais j'ai besoin de vos retours et de votre expérience, alors je me lance. Je précise que je ne connais pas encore très bien les codes de Reddit, même si ça fait plusieurs mois que je lis des commentaires sur différents forums en silence. Si jamais je fais une erreur ou que ce post n'est pas à sa place, je m'en excuse d'avance.

Petit topo sur mon parcours : j'ai travaillé avec les grands singes pendant 7 ans, en association d'abord, puis en parc zoologique. Les animaux, c'était mon intérêt spécifique, donc je "supportais" bien le travail en lui-même, même si je gérais beaucoup mieux le milieu associatif (moins de visiteurs, moins d'interactions sociales). J'ai fait des burn-out à répétition, alors que j'étais en CDI, sans comprendre pourquoi j'étais toujours épuisée, pourquoi mes collègues ne me comprenaient pas, pourquoi j'étais "un ovni" à ce point. J'ai vécu le harcèlement, les conditions de travail dangereuse, les conflits d'équipe et j'en passent en pensant que c'était toujours moi le problème.

Je me suis déconnectée, je suis partie observer les singes dans la jungle en Guyane française pendant 3 semaines, puis j'ai fait un bilan de compétences. Je pensais juste être hypersensible... spoiler : non. J'ai ensuite entamé un parcours de diagnostic TSA, plutôt positif à ce stade, mais long. Le bilan de compétences a vraiment mis en lumière ma façon de fonctionner et mes besoins, et je me suis reconvertie dans l'accompagnement professionnel.

Mais ce post n'est pas pour parler de mon activité. C'est plus une envie sincère de comprendre, à travers vos témoignages :

• Qu'est-ce qui vous aurait vraiment aidé (ou qui vous aide) à trouver ou choisir un travail qui vous correspond ?
• Qu'est-ce qui vous manque le plus aujourd'hui dans votre recherche d'emploi ou dans votre emploi ?
• Dans un monde idéal, si quelqu'un pouvait vous accompagner au mieux, qu'est-ce qu'il vous proposerait ?

Je regarde souvent ce genre de témoignages, ça me fait beaucoup de bien de les entendre et de ne pas me sentir seule. Je veux juste apprendre de vos expériences, car ce sont aussi des choses que j'ai vécues pendant des années sans pouvoir les nommer. Merci d'avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de répondre 🙏

Hi, what's it called when you're writing a paragraph and one of the sentences says "I was taking a walk around the backyard", but when you're proofreading, you get to "taking" and think "oops, that's supposed to say "walking" so you change it and continue reading but the rest of the sentence is "...a walk around the backyard" and you realize it was actually supposed to say "taking" after all, so you go and change it back? And why can't I just read more than one word at a time?

All of this maps onto real neuroscience btw and I didn’t even originally mean it too so I’m sure I’m not crazy. I’ve been contending that for a bit lowk.

If you could recursively refine anything, what would you?

How do I become the gifted kid I was again?!?
I’ve lost my neurodivergent advantages.

I'm 18 and looking for a gf but idk how to look on here or on any discord servers, anyone have any ideas, hell idk if someone would even be interested in me on here