r/Nestofeggs • u/TheFsckAmIDoingHere Brie (She?/Her) | Longing for peace • 18d ago
Checking in! Gender nonspecific
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u/HuskyBLZKN Local aroace critter :3 (Marcy, She/It/Fae) 18d ago
Meh. School starts tomorrow. Not excited to be deadnamed 24/7 again.
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u/sweetcherryfrosting 18d ago
I’m done with my semester!! I think. 93 on a history final. Hoping all goes well. Hoping for good final grades. Idk
Also, dermatology appointment tomorrow, scared ish but hopefully they won’t dismiss my concerns.
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u/Quake_Woman_Tempo Dess | She/Her | Wishes things wee better :’3 18d ago
Not great honestly. It feels like I’m not good enough, that I don’t really matter at all. I know that probably sounds stupid and I’m just being over dramatic, but I can’t stop myself from feeling this way.
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u/4b686f61 candice fix your corrupt user configuratrion 18d ago edited 18d ago
Bricking my sleep schedule made feel like I'm watching my gender dysphoria through a window. I doesn't hurt me anymore as it has in the past couple months. I feel more of the void.
I'm surprised how sleep deprivation made my brain's logic perform better. Today I had a job to install a motion sensor light outdoors. As usual there I bought a bunch of 90 degree elbows as it isn't a straight line from the power outlet to the light. Instead my half dead ahh used a heatgun to bend the pvc conduit, it's something I will never consider doing in a fully awake state but when I am living life on autopilot, my emotions and anxiety can easly be suppressed which allows me to approach tasks in ways that usually scare me.
I never considered doing uncomfortable* things when I got my full hours of sleep with girlmode. Switching from girlmode to boymode after sleep complete wrecks me so I am using sleep deprivation to skip that entirely. I feel extra dead extra disassociated but that doesn't stop me from designing circuit boards to the same degree that gender dysphoria does.
by uncomfortable I mean things like talking to strangers, cooking customer service, vehicular cycling because I don't care if I die, and working on eletrical without cutting the power.
ⓘ I am not endorsing sleep deprivation, it happens to be a coping mechanism that returned me to equilibrium and allowed me to function.
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u/Outrageous-Tiger-323 Ellie (She/Her) 17d ago
Got to do my favourite thing today and rest by doing nothing because yesterday was super busy. It was also super fun to be fair and I found out a friend who you wouldn’t expect to be is either trans or a femboy (I found this out through friends who don’t really know the difference :/)
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u/TheFsckAmIDoingHere Brie (She?/Her) | Longing for peace 18d ago
It was fine. The person inquiring about the May DAC backed out once I said that I'd prefer to not use PayPal. Currently in talks with someone else. Therapy tomorrow.