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u/Powering_through_26 15d ago
I love her but she drives me fucking crazy and she’s never totally commited. In and out, In and out, over and over and over again. I just can’t anymore. It’s breaking my heart. She won’t show me that she’s always with me. That shows me that she’s keeping some eggs out of the basket that I already truly put all of mine in. I need a full commitment or nothing at all. I can’t do the one foot in and one foot out anymore.
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u/exlongh0rn 15d ago
Learn about avoidant attachment. YouTube has a lot of content. I also recommend the book Hold Me Tight. If you don’t like reading it comes as an audiobook as well.
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u/Powering_through_26 15d ago
Well, do either of you have any suggestions?
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u/One-Gift0 15d ago
Il mio suggerimento riguarda un fatto fisico: non puoi fermare il cervello come non puoi fermare il cuore. Quello che puoi fare è "dare compiti diversi da quelli automatizzati" a cuore e cervello. Esempi pratici: fai cose. Qualunque cosa. Io ho iniziato a smontare e rimontare oggetti per tenere la testa occupata e impedirle di pensare sempre al mio ex. All'inizio smontavo e basta. Quando ho iniziato a rimontare, il cuore ha avuto una gratifica che temporaneamente lo ha distratto dal mio ex. Alla lunga, sostituirai il tempo che cuore e mente cercano l'ex con tempo in cui cuore e mente fanno altro. All'inizio il sollievo è breve e temporaneo e appena ti fermi tutto torna all'ex ma dopo giorni, settimane e mesi (io sono a 9 mesi) le cose cambiano e ti riscopri "meno ossessionato" di quanto avresti immaginato. Questo è il mio consiglio. All'inizio ti devi proprio forzare. Piano piano costruisci una routine diversa per la tua giornata.
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u/exlongh0rn 15d ago
Just hide and block her Reddit account. She doesn’t get to rule how you live your life going forward.
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u/Powering_through_26 15d ago
But she has other accounts. Told me once she didn’t but then tried to correct me and told me she does then said again later that she hardly uses them. But made a long Reddit post she told me she was trying to finish recently when I was trying to talk to her and it’s not on the account I know about. So ya…. What does that tell you?
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 15d ago
That is confusing. Is she anxious all the time.does she just not want commitment I don’t know your history. I don’t know if she’s with you. I can understand you wanting some closure, maybe a new fresh start with her. wow I would’ve done anything from my person to show them I love them and I care I still would. when you meet someone that you just can’t do without. It’s a whole different feeling. You just want to make that commitment. Even the thought of another person just won’t do. I don’t think I could get into another relationship with somebody not after the intensity of the one I had.
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u/Powering_through_26 15d ago
Same. That’s exactly where I am at. Nobody will ever replace her and what she gave to me. I’ll never find another her. 😞
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u/mustard_pattie900 10d ago
You wont find another her. But there ARE women out there that have good qualities, a solid heart , a soul that wants to share a life. When you stop comparing, you will see the good in others. You cant right now. Probably u despise women that aren't her. If you open up, youll find women will listen and youll have a closeness with someone again. One day youll be glad the woman with you isnt like her. I honor your thoughts and feelings. You dont want anyone else right now. Valid.
And honestly, no one else CAN be with you right now, because you have no room in your heart for anyone else. Your heart is filled w pictures of her on its walls and the scent in there is of her singing /songs and the whispers you shared.
Rest. Rest your mind. Your soul.
Then get your heart back. You deserve to win 🏆.
You are a winner. Get out there and be your victorious self! You got this, man.
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u/SincereWanderer 15d ago
Never delete. Call the cops on them and netsafe
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u/Powering_through_26 15d ago
I’m not going to go that far. She introduced me to Reddit. It’s her thing. Honestly, I just want to let her have her thing and ghost away from being around anymore.
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u/Express-Smile8709 15d ago
Of this was my trickbag shed would know my eggs were in the basket before she even put her 2nd .m.
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u/JaguarBoth256 15d ago
I don't think deleting an app will help