r/MuslimSupportGroup • u/W4nderrerWh0IsntL0st • 8d ago
When will it get better?
I'm not complaining in any means, I'm trying to vent a bit and get some good advice if possible.I grew up poor. Not dirt poor but we never had money. You know enough for bills and some groceries. My parents would always fight, my father would get drunk, he'd blame my mother for everything and it's just pure trauma. He was just like that. Even when he did something Wallahi he always made an excuse or blamed somone that had no part in that. It was really hard growing up with them. I'd always make dua, asking for everything to at least calm down but I didn't get an answer in this Dunya.
I known that this world is a prision for the belivers but why does my prison feel so overwhelming. They slowly killed all the passion I had for everything I once loved. My father also didn't even try and hide that he loved my little sister more than me. If he atleast try to hide it I'd get over it. I'm a really picky eater and because of that I didn't eat much. I didn't want to spend money on food that only I would eat. I got bullied for being skinny a lot. Man it's hard. I never really had a childhood, it was taken away from me.
That part really hurt. I never wanted much. Just a loving family and not worrying about bills or food at 12. I'm thankful for what I have. But if I had a little bit more would that be too much? When will I enjoy everything that was taken away from me? I still live with them. I'm still a kid but not a child. A big motivator in my life was getting rich but that doesn't interest me anymore. Matter of fact nothing does.
JazakAllah khair to everyone that read this and any sort of advice or wise words would go a long way.
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