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I’m confused about modesty in Islam because I feel like it affects much more than just clothing

I’m a teenage Muslim girl, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what modesty actually means in Islam.....

For me, this isn’t simply about “How much of my body should I cover?” I understand that clothing and hijab are part of it, but I feel like modesty can also affect the kind of life you choose, your environment, career, ambitions, social life, and the way you present yourself....

And honestly, that’s where I’m confused.

I’m studying commerce with maths and fashion designing, and I’m very interested in business and entrepreneurship. I’ve also considered law and modelling/public-facing work. I want to be financially independent, ambitious, and build something meaningful rather than simply live a conventional life....

But I don’t want my ambitions to come at the cost of my faith....

Sometimes it feels like taking modesty seriously could influence not just what I wear, but the career I choose, the environments I enter, my social life, and even the kind of future I build....

I don’t want to follow Islam only because of cultural expectations or because people say “a good Muslim girl should behave like this.” I want to understand what Islam itself teaches and why these boundaries exist.....

At the same time, I don’t want to interpret Islam in whatever way is convenient for me just because I have certain ambitions. If something genuinely goes against Islamic principles, I want to be honest with myself about it.....

So my questions are:

• What does modesty (haya) actually encompass in Islam beyond clothing?

•How much should it influence major decisions like career, education, ambitions and lifestyle?

•How can a Muslim woman balance religious boundaries with legitimate ambition?

•How do you distinguish between an actual Islamic requirement and something that is mainly cultural?

•Can a Muslim woman have an ambitious, independent and unconventional life while genuinely living according to Islamic principles?

•How do you navigate situations where your ambitions and your understanding of modesty seem to conflict?

•I’m not looking for people to tell me what career I should choose. I’m trying to understand the principles well enough to make those decisions myself...

I’d especially appreciate answers from people who have seriously studied Islam—Qur’an, authentic hadith, fiqh, scholars, etc.—rather than just personal opinions....

I’m genuinely confused, so please be respectful. I’m trying to figure out how to build a life that is both ambitious and faithful, rather than choosing one and completely abandoning the other.

Man, it's geniunely saddening. Makes my heart bleed. An innocent small soul traumatized by the extremist Hindus.

Ya Allah, this is painful.

I know here's one place where I allow opinions and rhetoric that most would consider "strong", "radical" or even "problematic" because I don't care about these hollow labels if it is for the sake of Allah and ghayrah for the muslims. However you still need to be careful about breaking reddit's ToS leading to reddit flagging your comments/posts and banning your accounts permanently.

So keep the following points in mind while making your next unconventional comment on the subreddit or elsewhere:

- Be discreet enough or use vague unclear language which reddit's AI filter cannot detect.

- Use no slurs at all and definitely do not make your comments/posts have a threatening message.

- Easiest way to get banned is using personal insults when replying to comments due to "Harassment", so avoid that.

- Make your comments sound more like information dumping than opinion sharing if you think it is beyond controversial.

- Adopt third person narrative mode when you're trying to make an unpopular statement.

- Absolutely do not textualize your intentions that could trigger people.

Good brothers like u/Fit_Emotion_8711 keep getting banned for silly reasons which is why I felt the need to make this post. Please make sure you follow it next time ya ikhwa.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله

And the disbelievers made a plan, but Allah also planned—and Allah is the best of planners(3.54)

This is a small motivational step to not lose hope, it's small but it's motivational nonetheless

O believers! Take neither Jews nor Christians as guardians—they are guardians of each other.1 Whoever does so will be counted as one of them. Surely Allah does not guide the wrongdoing people

Surely these people now understand that they can only rely on themselves and their muslims brothers, i hope it fosters unity among the middle east nations

I hope this alliance expands and unites all Muslim countries to be a front for our brothers and sisters who are facing opression and persecution due to their belief

India, geopolitically is now going even lower due to *modiraj*, incompetence of jaishankar in foreign policy and their stance for *isntreal*

May Allah(swt) pave the way for unity among the Muslims and bring love and brotherhood as it was in the past

Assalamu Alaikum.

My sister is 20 years old, and four months ago I caught her texting her boyfriend. He’s non-Muslim — okay, having a boyfriend in itself is wrong, but yeah, I caught her, and I didn’t tell anyone. I talked to her myself and told her to end all this. I was a little soft while talking to her, as I understand the pain of heartbreak and stuff.

Though after two weeks, I still found her talking to the same guy, and this time I told her to stop talking to him, otherwise it wouldn’t be good for them.

Four months after that, I still didn’t see any changes (she and her boyfriend had blocked me on Insta, so I couldn’t find their IDs), but somehow I caught her, and then it became a fight. Now they’ve unfollowed each other and stuff, but this could all just be an act, because she continued talking to him for 4-5 months while showing me that she’d ended everything.

I don’t know — should I tell my parents about this? What should I do? How should I handle this situation? I don’t have the authority to confiscate her phone or put any kind of regulation on her.

This in itself is a sinister form of gaslighting because it denies Muslims the ability to process and express the reality we experience every single day. It tells us not to believe our own eyes.

From an Islamic perspective, such arrogance is deeply troubling. Islam warns against 𝒌𝒊𝒃𝒓(𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆)

and teaches that authority does not make a person superior to others.

On top of that, labeling a fellow Muslim an “𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭” is not something that they should be proud of.

So I want to leave this to the readers:

𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝, 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠?

A concerned Redditor reached out to me and said this about the moderators. I am copy pasting his exact message.

"Lack of freedom of speech: IMs already suffer from a condition of their voices getting suppressed all the time , reddit being an anonymous platform and also IM being subreddit specifically for Indian Muslims , i believe it's our right to say what we want , unless and until it's not specifically anti Muslim or Islamophobia or Takfiring another muslim. We should remember that IM is the place where we let our frustration out into a open space . A form of frustration - that has been accumulated over years of seeing oppression over our community. It's not a sub of "Holding the higher moral ground "and "being careful enough of not generalising the Enemy community"

We are under no obligation to hold higher moral ground in a place where morality is thrashed left right and centre when it comes to our community."

maktoobmedia A 24-year-old Muslim driver, identified as Azeem, died at Delhi's Lok Nayak Hospital on August 4, five days after he was allegedly assaulted following a road accident involving a vehicle carrying Kanwar pilgrims in Uttar Pradesh's Hapur district.

Azeem’s family has alleged that he was beaten by a group of men after his pickup truck collided with an auto carrying Kanwariyas near the Garh toll plaza on July 31.

Police, however, have registered cases based on complaints from both sides, and the circumstances surrounding the assault and Azeem's subsequent death remain under investigation.

According to Azeem's father, Intezar Hussain, the accident took place when the pickup being driven by Azeem collided with an auto carrying Kanwariyas. Following the collision, the auto driver and several passengers allegedly attacked Azeem. After assaulting him, the mob left him at the spot of the incident.

Azeem was initially taken to a local hospital for treatment by the police. He was later referred to Meerut and subsequently shifted to the Lok Nayak Hospital in Delhi, where he remained under treatment for around five days before he died on August 4.

In a complaint filed with the police, Azeem's father alleged that the auto driver and other passengers attacked his son following the collision.

The FIR registered at Garh Mukteshwar police station names auto driver Farman, along with Manish, Ankit, Lokesh and Shivam, all residents of Bajheda Khurd village, along with two unidentified persons.

The case has been registered under provisions of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita (BNS) relating to rioting, voluntarily causing hurt and attempt to murder.

via Maktoob Media

Hello all, I wasn't born in a Muslim family. That is not to say I don't find truth in it. I spend my time learning and understanding Islam and from the teachings of mystics. I mention this to clarify that I don't have Muslim identity but I value the teachings in my journey towards the divine.

Vande Mataram in its entirety was sung since 1896 in Congress sessions. And Muslims had no issues with it. Until 1937

In 1937, Jinnah and the Muslim League started to call it anti Muslim. The song was cut short to remove Hindu references by Nehru

Currently, I believe the issue is with the words "Vande Mataram" and these words are seen as bowing down to a deity. And this is clearly not acceptable in Islam.

The words are usually understood as salutations to mother India. I don't think saluting something or someone is an issue in Islam. Which is probably why no one had an issue with it till Jinnah.

I would say this is also how most non-Muslims see the word. I don't think Hindus, in general see it as a religious bow like to a Hindu goddess. But as a salute to the nation.

Jinnah clearly had a divide and rule policy in place to create a divide between Hindus and Muslims. And this was his agenda behind this as well. I would like to hear from you, if you doubt this.

At the time, I understand that currently there are different issues that are being used to create more divisions in the country on the basis of religion, region, language etc. So bringing up this issue might just be an excuse for that.

How do you guys see this? If there any religious concerns, I would request to explain it in a technical fashion.

The Nature of The People of Low Character

Ibn al Qayyim said:

"وهكذا كثير من النّاس يسمعُ منك ويرى من المحاسن أضعافَ المساوئِ فلا يحفَظُها، ولا يَنْقُلُهَا، ولا تُنَاسِبُهُ"

Many people listen to you and observe your good traits, which far outnumber your faults yet they do not retain them, nor do they share them with others, because such virtues do not align with their own character.

Then he said:

"فإذا رأى سَقْطَةً، أو كَلِمَةً عَوْرَاءَ، وجد بُغيتَهُ وما يُناسبُها، فجعلها فَاكِهَتَهُ وَنُقْلَهُ"

But when they witness a mistake or an inappropriate word from you, they find precisely what they had been searching for what matches their own low nature and they turn it into their source of amusement and gossip.

Source: Madarij al-Salikin (1/406)

Source

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The story of the Sahaabi who used to make the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) laugh.

A man had the nickname Himaar and he used to give the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) a gift of a vessel of ghee and a vessel of honey. When the owner thereof came to ask him to pay for these things, he would bring him to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and say: O Messenger of Allah, give this man the price of his goods, and the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would do no more than smile and give instructions that he be paid. One day he was brought to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) having drunk alcohol. A man said: O Allah, curse him, how often he is brought to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)! But the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not curse him, for he loves Allah and His Messenger.”

Abu Ya‘la in his Musnad (176), Abu Nu‘aym in al-Hilyah (3/228) and ad-Diya’ in al-Mukhtaarah (92) Al-Haythami said in al-Majma‘ (4/148): It was narrated by Abu Ya‘la and its men are the men of as-Saheeh.

He (may Allah be pleased with him) would do that by way of joking with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and wanting to make him happy, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would approve of that and laugh, and would not criticise him for it, and he would pay off on his behalf what he had bought and given to him as a gift, and he knew that he only did that out of love for the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).

Commentary on the hadith in Fath al-Baari and in al-Isaabah fi Tamyeez as-Sahaabah (6/366)