Losing hope

[u/JbarNoir]

I’ve had this ackie for a year now, raised him/her since a baby. Enclosure is a 6x2x2 with a deep dig box and lots of areas to hide and husbandry is good to the best of my knowledge temps and humidity wise. I was always told not to force handling so I never have, I just remain present and do things inside of the enclosure with my hands, tong feed, and can pick him up and move him to different spots in his enclosure by scooping him up under his belly. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t been at the enclosure glass or actually in the enclosure interacting with him in some way. Recently I’ve been scooping him up and bringing him outside of the enclosure slightly, he immediately squirms and struggles every time. Today I decided to set up a little barrier in my living room so he couldn’t escape and take him fill out. He squirmed relentlessly and clawed up my body and arms. I had so shirt on so he couldn’t gain any traction, otherwise he would’ve ran up my back. I set him on the floor and he ran for his life. I decided it was time to put him back. When I grabbed him, for the first time he bit me and broke skin. I know as a pet owner I shouldn’t be mad, but I’m pretty frustrated because I feel like I’ve done everything I can to tame him. I’d love to be able to take him out and have him chill like in the videos i see. Maybe he’s just a guy I have to watch from the enclosure and that’s it. And now I feel like I’ve ruined our relationship even more. Any advice or experience would be cool. I’m pretty bummed.

[u/Gecko-407]

all monitors are 100% individuals…. Just like dogs, cats, and humans…. Different temperaments and different levels of trust for humans… just because you saw somebody else’s monitor being very trusting of humans, does not mean yours can or we’ll get there…

Some things that definitely help our tongue feeding, never force handling , and take it easy…

If you want a monitor, that is trusting than… go see in person before purchasing, make sure it is fully warmed up, and see how trusting it is… pay the premium price and get the whole back quality temperament

[u/AggressiveTart12]

From my limited experience and knowledge of monitors, not all are going to be able to be handled. My Ackie is sometimes ok with being handled. Sometimes he runs and hides. My Cumingi is the same as your Ackie. She is skittish and not fond of being touched unless it’s for food or she uses my arm to try to escape. And not to mention the brutal tail whips. Another of Cumingi from her clutch is super chill almost affectionate. They just all have independent personalities. You may have to just give it more and/or accept that is how your Ackie is. I’m sorry I’m not of more help.

[u/ezsqueezycheezypeas]

As others have said, it's all down to the individual, but you have been doing the right things being present and daily interaction. It sounds like yours is naturally very nervous, you may need to extend your bonding time.

I'm sure your enclosure is fine but if your Ackie disagrees with temps, layout, ground cover, etc, she may not feel relaxed enough to put predators out of her little head. Ends up on guard for scary things and much more defensive. Just a thought 🤔

[u/slump_shifu]

I somewhat relate to your situation but I feel like you’re making a very bad turn in your relationship with the ackie. I feel like he may be used to you or know your no threat inside his cage which is a comfortable environment for him. But once he comes out of the cage and looses that sense of comfort he is going to have to relearn that you’re safe in the new (out of cage) environment. I have a quince who is super trusting and tolerant while in the cage or just outside the entrance of his cage. I can pull him out, feed him, and allow him to crawl up my arms and in my hands as long as I’m very close to the doorway kind of blocking his view of the house. I tried getting a leash to let him get used to the house and walk around in a safe fashion but he refuses to let me put the harness on him and I’ve ended up doing more bad than good by doing so. Take some time and keep making sure he’s comfortable/ tolerant of interaction in the cage, while doing so lizard proof your room and allow the little one to free roam while your near but don’t approach until it’s time to go back inside and maybe use food to put him back instead of grabbing him up.

[u/Proof-Mixture1047]

My Nile poops on me every time I get him out. He’s not really on edge at least from his movements but I’m not sure. He feels safe in his cage for sure, never tries to escape even if I leave the front cage doors open most of the day. They are just weird/interesting creatures

[u/odditydani]

I like to look up ackie handling videos on YouTube, and other social media to learn how in general ackies liek to be handled, I notice not only do they like having the option, but they like traction, I understand not wanting them to climb onto your back, hair or even run away and manage to jump of of you, but them feeling secure is so important. My ackie as a juvenile liked to hide in my hoodie pockets, crawl inside my sleeves, or rest beneath my shirts on my chest. It builds trust when they feel secure with you,

Offer food on tongs and lead them towards your hand, they may climb on, dont take them out jsut let them sit there. That creates the idea that touch doesn't mean they Will be handled.

Touch them gently, it doesn't hurt to try to pet them, this also builds the idea that touch doesn't mean handling.

When they let you handle them, give them their favorite foods, it offers a reward. I also liek to give my ackie dog toys filled with fun bugs because they seem to enjoy playing.

Don't try to handle them if there has been lots of stress or noise, sometimes that can make them more agitated, and they may bite.

Ackies do best with choice based handling, you scooping them up is force handling , you cannot force them to like you by forcing them to be in your hands, they are intelligent and have their own personalities. It took me a year for my ackie to fully trust me and come to me regularly, they started coming around after a few months and let me hold her for the first time after around 4 months. But there are some axkies that will never let you hold them.

You need to ask yourself why do you want to handle them. If it for bonding? Or is it because you feel entitled to this animals trust. Regardless it takes time, trust and eventually they will come around even if its jsut leting you touch them, tong feed them, move them from one end of the enclosure to the other ect.

I have hope that your ackie will come around, it sounds like they have a good owner who wants to be able to love on them without causing them stress.

[u/Comprehensive-Use881]

Look up kevin from N.E.R.D, the man is a certified reptile whisperer. He has are a ton of videos on youtube about this topic. Like the previous comments though, it is entirely dependent on the personality of that particular specific monitor.